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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23044807">Emotional Rollercoaster</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PtitPooh5/pseuds/PtitPooh5'>PtitPooh5</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lucifer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Happy Ending, Post-Season/Series 04, Suffering</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:02:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>63,613</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23044807</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PtitPooh5/pseuds/PtitPooh5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Amenadiel brought back Lucifer on Earth but his return sends him on an emotional rollercoaster.</p><p>I started this fic with the season 5 episode 1 title « Really Sad Devil Guy » and will lead it to the ending I wish for the series.</p><p>This is a hard fic with probably too much hurt but with Deckerstar and a happy ending, I promise!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>133</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>252</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Breakdown</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wish to apologize for any mistakes I may have made in the text (grammar, verb tenses, spelling, etc.). I'm a native French speaker and it's the first time I write in English. I would be very pleased if you correct my text in comments. Best way to get better! Thank you.</p><p>Please let me know what you think of this story! It can help me choose the way I take to go to the end! I may rewrite it in french one day too (if I have time and if there seems to be an interest). Thank you for reading and kudos!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been six months since Lucifer had left. Six long months where Chloe tried to distract herself to forget her loss. She worked a lot of extra hours, hang out with Ella and Maze on weekends and most of the time was able not to think about Lucifer. Most of the time.</p><p>Since six days now, every time she was not busy, she had the feeling to hear crying. Lucifer’s crying. At first, it was really faint. A whisper in the dark. She didn’t pay too much attention to it. Until two days ago when she dreamed of Lucifer crying and calling for her.</p><p>Now, she just woke up with the same dream again. More a nightmare she should say. Lucifer seemed in total distress. She had a strong feeling something was wrong. Just like the feelings she sometimes had on a case. Even though she knew it sounded crazy, she had to talk to Amenadiel about it.</p><p>She waited until 9:30 a.m. to try to reach him, after all it was Saturday, but no one answered. Trixie being with Dan, she spent all day going around in circles. Late in the afternoon, when she finally joined Amenadiel, she felt herself distressed, as if Lucifer’s feeling had rubbed off on her. She knew it was just an impression. Lucifer was not beside her and it was just a dream but she nevertheless felt terribly bad.</p><p>__________</p><p>At Linda and Amenadiel’s house, she tried to explain everything she was feeling since one week.</p><p>“Can you go check on him, please?” she asked desperately. “Just to make sure he’s fine.”</p><p>“I’m sure he is. It’s not Lucifer’s style to cry like this.”</p><p>“I know but at least I will be able to tell myself that it was all nothing.”</p><p>“I hate to go down there.”</p><p>“Please, just few minutes to make sure everything’s okay.” </p><p>Amenadiel sighed. “I’ll be back in a few.”</p><p>Amenadiel extended his wings and disappear out of sight. Waiting for his return, Linda handed out Charlie to Chloe so she could cuddle him a little.</p><p>Once in Hell, Amenadiel went immediately to Lucifer’s throne. He didn’t want to waste more time than necessary. </p><p>“Hi Luci.” he shouted as soon as he’s been close enough to be heard. Receiving no reply, he came closer and greeted him again. Complete silence. Amenadiel began to worry a little. Does Lucifer was still in Hell? Even if he was not on his throne but speaking with demons or torturing some thugs, he should have been able to hear him.<br/>
Reality hit him head-on. Lucifer was on his throne but Chloe had seen right. He seemed desperate and was crying. Amenadiel tried to get some answers from him but he was just sitting there, seeming far away, unresponsive. </p><p>“Ok. You come with me.”</p><p>He tried to force his brother to follow him but Lucifer resist. He finally looked at his big brother and just answer: “No. I can’t.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“The throne cannot remain vacant. You know what happened last time. I can’t let this happen again.” </p><p>“Can’t believe I’m saying this but I will stay. You’re not well Luci and need a good talk with Linda.”</p><p>“No. You have a baby to take care of and this is no place for a new father.”</p><p>The two brothers looked at each other both now with tears in their eyes. Amenadiel couldn’t believe how much his brother had changed in the past few years. Lucifer would never have sacrificed himself like this before.</p><p>“I’ll be back soon Luci.”</p><p>__________</p><p>Amenadiel left the underworld and went right to the Silver City. Still a little mad at Remiel non-acceptance of his child, he went straight to her.</p><p>“I need your help Remi.”</p><p>“My help? What makes you think I want to help you? I’m still angry that you been inconsequential and made a child with a human. I have accepted my defeat and won’t interfere with your child’s life but I won’t help you.”</p><p>“It’s for Lucifer.”</p><p>“This self-centered brother who only think about himself? Even less.”</p><p>“He had changed Remi. And that’s the problem. He’s actually in Hell, trying to keep demons away from Earth but he’s not well. He needs help and Linda, his therapist, is probably the only one who can help him.”</p><p>“Lucifer’s not well? A therapist? Are you kidding me? There’s no way I can believe that!”</p><p>“Well, follow me and see for yourself. We can’t let him like this. Anyway it won’t be long that demons will realize what’s going on and they won’t respect him anymore. I’ve tried to replace him but he didn’t want because I’m a new father.”</p><p>“He didn’t? Wait, what? That’s impossible! Lucifer would never think of someone else before him.”</p><p>“I told you Remi. He had changed and needs our help. We’re his family. We can’t let him down. Not again. Please come with me.”</p><p>Reluctantly, Remiel follows Amenadiel to Hell. She quickly realized her brother told the truth. Lucifer didn’t even look at her. He seemed once again lost in his thoughts. </p><p>“I can’t believe it. Never thought I would see Lucifer like this. Ok, that’s fine. I will stay here the time he’ll need. I just hope it won’t be too long.”</p><p>“No way!” objected Lucifer. Suddenly aware of his siblings presence. It’s my punishment and no one has to suffer it for me.”</p><p>Amenadiel and Remiel looked at each other. It was almost surreal. They knew what they had to do. Lucifer didn’t resist. He hadn’t the strength at this moment against them. Remiel sat on the throne while Amenadiel took Lucifer in his arms to bring him to Earth like a baby.</p><p>__________</p><p>Instead of going directly to Linda and Chloe, Amenadiel went to the penthouse. He knew Lucifer wouldn’t want Chloe to sees him like this, covered in ashes, face smeared with tears. While his brother was under shower, Amenadiel called Linda to explain the situation. Chloe needed to know before seeing him.</p><p>After shower, Lucifer dressed in pajama pants and bathrobe. Even if he had stop crying, his eyes were still red and his face as sad as it could be. </p><p>“Get dressed. We are going to eat dinner at my place. Chloe is waiting for you.”</p><p>“I can’t face her like that. What she’ll think of me?”</p><p>“She already knows. Don’t ask me how but she heard your crying in her dreams. She’s the reason I came down for you.”</p><p>“I’m not hungry anyway.”</p><p>“Get dressed. You’re coming with me. No discussion.”</p><p>Lucifer went back to his room like a scolded dog. He dressed with a black suit and a deep purple shirt. He seemed even sadder dressed that way. They took the Corvette to go. Neither of them spoke during the ride.</p><p>__________</p><p>Chloe was waiting on the porch. As soon as Lucifer got out of car, she ran towards him. They look at each other with a lot of pain in their eyes and Chloe put her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest. Lucifer wrapped her up too, unable to say a word.</p><p>They stayed like this a few minutes until a gust of wind makes Chloe shiver. Afraid that if he talks he would start to cry again, Lucifer slowly guided her inside.</p><p>They were unable to take off their eyes from each other. Lucifer tried to smile but a smile on such a sad face seemed even sadder.</p><p>“Dinner is almost ready.” said Linda, trying to break the uncomfortable silence that had settled. “Would you like a whiskey Lucifer?”</p><p>“Yes, please.”</p><p>They sat on the couch and Linda poured whiskey glasses to everyone. Charlie was playing on the floor with a rattle and for a moment, it was the only sound in the room.</p><p>“So, Lucifer, what happened in Hell in the last six months?” asked Linda, like if it was a regular topic conversation.</p><p>“Nothing.”</p><p>“What do you means by nothing? Something must have happened in six months, right?”</p><p>“I haven’t really spoken to demons except to give them orders and I’m not very inclined to torture these days.”</p><p>“But I means, six months is quite a long time.”</p><p>“For you it’s been six months, not for me. Time lapse is not the same in Hell than here.”</p><p>“So it looked like few days?”</p><p>Lucifer shooked his head.</p><p>“Years and years... and years. Maybe a century,... or two. I’m not sure.”</p><p>Once again, silence fall on them. Chloe realized that if it had been hard for her while she still had her job and could have fun with friends, for Lucifer it must have been much worse. Much, much worse. Alone with himself for a century or even more? She didn’t know how she could have handled that.</p><p>__________</p><p>Lucifer didn’t talk much during dinner. He didn’t eat much either and kept his eyes on Chloe almost constantly as if he were afraid that she would vanished if he looked away.</p><p>When everybody left the table to take a last drink, Lucifer went to Chloe.</p><p>“It’s real isn’t it? It’s not some trick of my imagination? You’re really standing in front of me? I’m really on Earth with you?”</p><p>She gently put her hands on his cheek.</p><p>“Of course it is real.”</p><p>He closed his eyes and bent his head towards her, his forehead against hers. He took some deep breaths. She could feel he was shaking. When they finally parted, Lucifer’s cheeks were bathed in tears.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I... I have to go to bathroom.” said Chloe.</p><p>She was as shaken as him but didn’t want him to see her cry. She was afraid that he would be even sadder, if such a thing was possible.</p><p>When she came back, Lucifer was sitting on the couch talking with Linda. He seemed so distressed, so pitiful. Far from the confident Lucifer she knew. A broken doll, an abandoned puppy on the side of the road.</p><p>She didn’t want to interrupt them so she went to join Amenadiel in the nursery. He was rocking Charlie.</p><p>“Do you want to rock him?” he asked.</p><p>She shook her head but sat in the comfy couch in the corner of the room.</p><p>“He seems..., he seems... ,” she wanted to say broken but the word couldn’t make through. What it implied was too much to bear. </p><p>“He will need our help. Your help.”</p><p>“How? What can I do?”</p><p>“Just be there for him. Don’t let him down. When he was banished from Heaven, everyone let him down, me first. He was able to bounce back but his distress seems much greater this time. If we let him down again now, I’m not sure he will get through this.” </p><p>“I will be there for him. I love him. I need him.”</p><p>“You know, he never really felt loved or loved before you show up in his life, never felt cared about or cared about someone else than himself. All those emotions are new to him and he doesn’t know how to deal with.”</p><p>She nodded. A sudden thought popped out in her mind.</p><p>“Will he have to return back there? I mean, I know that another angel took the throne meanwhile but it’s just temporary, right?”</p><p>“We will find a solution. For now, he needs to heal.”</p><p>For now, she thought. How long? Few weeks? Few months? Will he need to go back there every now and then? What their lives would look like? Could she bear that life?</p><p>Amenadiel felt her distress. He put a sleeping Charlie in his crib and went to comfort her.</p><p>In the living room, Lucifer was trying to gather his ideas but he couldn’t say how he felt in words. So many years of thinking about what he left behind, over and over again. So many years of thinking of what lay ahead, over and over again. Eternity was such a long time. So he just kept sitting there, trying not to think. But when he was not thinking, he was feeling. And it was so much worse.</p><p>It was like a constant pressure on his chest and sometimes, it was so hard he could barely breathe. He had learned a lot and grown a lot in the past few years but this was far more than what he was used to deal with. The walls he had surrounded himself after his fall had been shattered into pieces and he was feeling weak, helpless. He used to make jokes about all his problems but this time, no joke was coming in.</p><p>“What’s the bloody point of all this? Why bother to feeling better when we both know that I will have to go back there anyway?”</p><p>“We might find another solution. Don’t jump to conclusion.”</p><p>“You don’t understand! It’s my job! My punishment!” His eyes became flaming red as he was yelling.</p><p>“Lucifer, calm down. You were no longer effective in that state of mine. If you want to do your job properly, you need to heal.”</p><p>Lucifer took a deep breath, trying to calm down. He was so angry. Angry at Amenadiel, who had removed him from Hell. Angry at Chloe, her simple sight reminding him his lost. Angry at Linda who brought out too many emotions.  Angry at his old dear Dad who banished him. Angry at himself for everything he had done. He suddenly felt tired, exhausted. Tears found their way out. Eyes became back their beautiful dark brown.</p><p>“I’m... I’m sorry.”</p><p>He bent forward, nesting his head in his open palms, shameful. Linda put her hand on his back, rubbing him. It was so far from the usual Lucifer. He was clearly suffering a breakdown. If he had been someone else or more likely something else, she could have given him medication but that would be ineffective on him. He should get over it on his own. With her help of course. With their help.</p><p>Chloe and Amenadiel were back in the room, alerted by the screams. They remained silent, watching their friend fall apart. It was a heartbreaking scene.</p><p>After a few minutes he finally calmed down but was too shameful to look at them. He stayed bent forward, staring at the floor.</p><p>“You’ll stay here for tonight.” It was not a suggestion. It was an order.</p><p>“I have a better idea.” Chloe said softly. “You have a baby who can wake up at any hour and Lucifer clearly needs a good sleep. I will bring him at the penthouse and stay with him tonight. Trix is with Dan anyway.”</p><p>Amenadiel looked at her strangely. </p><p>“Don’t worry.” she added. “No weird idea in mind. He will be more comfortable in his apartment, that’s all.”</p><p>No one asked for Lucifer’s permission but anyway, he was too exhausted to say anything.  He didn’t even protest when Amenadiel drove him at Lux in his Corvette while Chloe went to her house to pick up some belongings. Went she arrived at the penthouse, Lucifer was already dressed with his pajama pants, sipping a whiskey on the couch.</p><p>Amenadiel thanked her, waved them goodbye and went back home flying.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Nightmares</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>__________</p><p>Chloe sat beside him on the couch. Lucifer didn’t flinch, didn’t look at her. He just kept sipping his whiskey.</p><p>She didn’t know what to say or what to do so she simply sat in silence beside him. Was he mad at her? Was he still loves her? For him, it’s been more than a century they didn’t talk. Maybe he just didn’t love her anymore?</p><p>Stop it! She thought for herself. You saw the way he looked at you earlier. He still has feelings for you. </p><p>Lost in her thoughts, she startled when the glass he was holding fell to the ground. It didn’t break but rolled at her feet. She picked it up and put it on the table beside her.</p><p>“I’m sorry” he mumbled.</p><p>“Don’t. It’s your glass after all.”</p><p>She helped him get up. He was so exhausted he was barely stood on his feet. She guided him to the master bedroom and helped him get in bed.</p><p>“Please, don’t go.”</p><p>“I won’t. I will sleep on the couch. If you ne...”</p><p>“No, please, stay here. I... I don’t want to be alone.”</p><p>“Give me few minutes.”</p><p>When she came back, he was already sleeping.</p><p>The bed was large enough to sleep beside him without even touching him. Not because she didn’t want to, but it would have been inappropriate at this moment. She crawled in and stayed a moment listening to his steady breath before falling asleep.</p><p>__________</p><p>A scream woke her up. Lucifer was sitting in bed beside her, panting. She looked at her phone and realized she slept for about one hour.</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“A nightmare.” he muttered. He went back on his side and put his hand in hers, falling back asleep pretty quickly.</p><p>One and half hour later, a new scream woke her up. Once again, Lucifer was sitting in bed, more awake this time and shaking.</p><p>“The same nightmare?” she asked.</p><p>“Pretty much.”</p><p>“You want to talk about it?”</p><p>“Not really, but...”</p><p>She waited for him to finish his sentence but she could see in the dim light he was staring at her.</p><p>“But what?” she finally asked.</p><p>“I’d like to hold you.”</p><p>He crawled towards her and put one arm over hers, the hand on her shoulder. He pressed his chest against the top of her back but kept his hips away from her. After all, it was the first time they were sharing a bed.</p><p>It took a while before they fall asleep again.</p><p>__________</p><p>The third time, a tension in his body woke her up before the scream. He seemed genuinely terrified.</p><p>“You keep dying!” he yelled, getting up.</p><p>He started pacing beside the bed, his hands fumbling in his hair.</p><p>“Am I in Hell? Is it a Hell loop?”</p><p>Chloe lit on the night lamp and went towards him. She put her hands on his shoulder to force him to stop pacing.</p><p>“Calm down. You’re not in Hell. You’re in your penthouse with me.”</p><p>He looked at her in disbelief.</p><p>“There’s no other explanation! It must be a Hell loop! It must be…”</p><p>“Lucifer, stop! You’re NOT in a Hell loop.”</p><p>He took a deep breath and sat at the end of the bed.</p><p>“Now I want to know what’s in your nightmare.”</p><p>“You die and you die again! Just like in Charlotte’s Hell loop when her family was dying!”</p><p>“Well, I’m not dead. I’m here, with you.”</p><p>She could see he was still quite nervous.</p><p>“Did you make the same nightmare well, down there?”</p><p>“No. I don’t have to sleep in Hell. My body don’t have any physical needs there.”</p><p>“And you never had these nightmares before?”</p><p>She was now working those like a crime scene.</p><p>“Well not exactly the same, but yes I had a recurring nightmare with you in before.”</p><p>He told her about the dream where he wasn’t able to control his wings and was trying to catch her as she fell from the balcony of the penthouse, his wings wide opening and bringing him back upwards, preventing him for catching her.</p><p>“But it was more a wings issue I think.”</p><p>She frowned and Lucifer explained that when his wings grew back, he thought it was his Father will and was mad about it.</p><p>“But it’s fine now.”</p><p>As to prove it, he stood up and spread his beautiful white feathered wings wide open. A magnificent and incredible proof of divinity.  She was reassured that these were not his devil wings. At least, breakdown or not, he was not feeling like a monster.</p><p>It was only the second time Chloe was seeing them. The first time was six months ago, just before he left her. Her throat tightened to this memory.</p><p>“Ok,” she said, trying to regain control. “I’ll talk to Linda about it in the morning. Meanwhile, it’s still the middle of the night and we need to go back to sleep.”</p><p>“I can’t. I don’t want you to die again.”</p><p>“I won’t. Whatever happens in your dreams, it’s just a dream.”</p><p>“But it’s terrifying!” Chloe couldn’t help but thought he sounded just like Trixie around four years old after she had a particularly bad nightmare.</p><p>“I know and I will stay with you. I won’t leave and I won’t die, I promise.”</p><p>Lucifer was reluctant but Chloe turned off the light and they returned to bed. He lay on his back this time, staring at the ceiling. She pressed her side against him, an arm across his chest. She could feel his heartbeat was a little too fast, his body still tense. </p><p>He caressed her arm distractedly. He didn’t want to sleep. He waited patiently, and when he was sure she was deeply asleep, he gently swiped from her embrace. He sat in the comfortable chair across the room, watching her steady breath. She was so beautiful he thought. </p><p>She woke up and realized it was morning but Lucifer wasn’t in bed. When she turned around, she saw him, asleep in the chair. He was still looking tired and she suspected that he spent most of the night awake. She got up silently, took her phone and get out of the room.</p><p>__________</p><p>It was barely seven. Chloe texted Linda to call her when she would be available.  Ten seconds later her phone buzzed.</p><p>Chloe went outside on the balcony to answer.</p><p>“You’re up early for a Sunday.”</p><p>“The joy to be a new mom,” she laughs. </p><p>Chloe told her the night they had.</p><p>“No. It wasn’t a wings issue. That’s what he thought it was.”</p><p>“So what was it?”</p><p>“Mostly, I think he was afraid of losing you.”</p><p>“And there’s a chance it’s something similar this time.”</p><p>“There’s a good chance, yes.”</p><p>“How can I help him? I tried to reassure him but...”</p><p>A scream brought her inside. She rushed in the bedroom. </p><p>Lucifer was standing in front of the chair, panicked, obviously looking for her.</p><p>“I’m here, I’m here,” she called.</p><p>“You promised you would stay!”</p><p>“I was on the balcony, talking to Linda. I didn’t want to wake you up.”</p><p>She realized Linda was still online and she brought the phone to her ear.</p><p>“It just happened again?” asked the doctor. “Can I talk to him?”</p><p>Chloe handed the phone to Lucifer. He looked at the device, completely lost, like if he was still half asleep. He finally grabbed it and answered.</p><p>Chloe went back to the main room to preserve his intimacy with his therapist. She sat on the couch and took an out-of-price-fashion magazine on the table. All full of things she could never afford – or never would – for the matter.</p><p>__________</p><p>It took twenty minutes for Lucifer to come back. He seemed in a better mood. Not joyful but not depressed either. </p><p>“Morning, Detective.”</p><p>“Good morning Lucifer. Good talk with Linda?”</p><p>“Yes, yes,” He went straight to the counter. “I need a coffee. You want one?”</p><p>“Sure!”</p><p>The coffee was – of course – one of those expensive espresso machine and probably came from the best grower on Earth. It tasted almost divine even without milk or sugar. </p><p>“So, what do you want to do today?”</p><p>“Well, just going to work with you, Detective!”</p><p>“I’m afraid it won’t be possible today.”</p><p>In less than a second, his almost usual Lucifer mood disappeared.  His shoulder slumped and he gazed at her pitifully. </p><p>“I thought we... we were still partners.”</p><p>Her heart clenched at this simple sentence. Linda told her yesterday just before leaving that he would have good and bad days but that his good days were most likely to turn bad at any moment.</p><p>“Of course we still are!”she quickly answered.  “It’s Sunday today so no work. Tomorrow you’ll come with me.”</p><p>“Oh!” he simply said, still disappointed. “What is it with you humans with your work days, weekend days and vacation days? Will never understand that.”</p><p>He remained silent for a moment and then offered to prepare breakfast.</p><p>“Do you need help?”</p><p>“No, I’m fine.”</p><p>__________</p><p>While he was cooking, she thought about what they could do today. He seemed so disappointed not to be able to go to work. She had to find something to lift him up. Linda said no talk about Hell, celestials or family and that he should do what he likes. What Lucifer liked? Work at precinct, drugs, sex and women. She could do nothing for the two firsts but the two lasts... maybe.</p><p>A smile spread up on her face while she looked at him. Would he be in the mood for that? No doubt about it. Bad mood or not, she was pretty sure he was always in for that. Was she in the mood for that? Definitely. </p><p>“What?” he said as she was still looking at him in awe.</p><p>“I’m thinking about what we could do today.”</p><p>“And?” He cocked his head on the side a vague amused smile on his face.</p><p>“Maybe just spend the day in bed?”</p><p>He looked at her in amazement.</p><p>“Really Detective?”</p><p>“Really.”</p><p>He smiled back at her.</p><p>“I should finish preparing this breakfast then!”</p><p>__________</p><p>Lucifer was cheerful while eating. Finally, a no work day was a good thing.</p><p>“Where’s that little urchin of yours?” he asked after a moment. Didn’t saw her yet.</p><p>“She’s with Dan for the weekend. I will pick her up after school tomorrow.”</p><p>“Tomorrow? Does it mean you can stay here tonight too?”</p><p>“That’s what I have expected when I came yesterday. I brought everything I need for two days. Unless you don’t want me to stay?”</p><p>“You can stay as long as you wish Detective!”</p><p>They finished breakfast and Lucifer went to take a shower. He seemed to be back to the old Lucifer like if yesterday never happened. Amenadiel had said he was good at bouncing back. So true.</p><p>When she was thinking about it, in a lot of situations, Lucifer was acting like a four years old child. The pure fear of his nightmares, the way he deals with emotions, his ambivalent moods, the way he bounce from one topic to another were just mere examples of that fact. </p><p>Considering his childhood education or more likely, his non-education and the fact that he’s been on Earth for less than a decade – who means nothing in his millennia of existence – it was quite normal.</p><p>When Lucifer finally got out of the shower, Chloe realized that he had been in there for half an hour. She hoped that the penthouse had a large hot water tank because she wanted to take a shower too. And as she could imagine, everything went fine.</p><p>“You’re so beautiful Detective.”</p><p>She just got out of the shower only wearing a bathrobe, drying her hair with a towel. He was smiling at her in such a tender way she felt her heart melt. He got closer and put his hand on her cheek. She noticed that his eyes still looked a little sad but it was giving him a fragile look even more attractive than his usual I’m the Devil one.</p><p>He bent forward and kissed her tenderly. She answered his kiss more passionately, more furiously, dropping the towel on the floor. She was so ready for this. A curious sound came suddenly from the main room. Chloe’s phone was buzzing furiously on the counter where she had left it.</p><p>“I’m putting this down.” Taking the device to shut it down, she realized it was the precinct. “Hold on, it might be important,” she told Lucifer.</p><p>It was. A new case just coming up and they need her to take some depositions.</p><p>“I’m so sorry Lucifer.” </p><p>“Don’t be. We still can do this later, isn’t it? I’m coming with you”</p><p>“Let get dressed then.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Gardian angel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The scene of the crime was located in a chic Bel Air mansion, half an hour drive from the Lux. Lucifer parked the Corvette in the large driveway and they got out of the car.</p>
<p>The mansion was of average size but surrounded by a beautiful garden obviously maintained by a gardener. For once, instead of complaining on the killer’s bad taste, Lucifer’s approval was refreshing. Once inside, he seemed delighted by the place and even asked if she thought the mansion would be for sale now that the owner was dead.</p>
<p>“Morning Chloe!” a young voice shouted from across the room. </p>
<p>Ella stood up and her eyes widened when she saw Lucifer.</p>
<p>“Lucifer! Hey man!” </p>
<p>“Hello miss Lopez.”</p>
<p>She almost ran toward him and hugged him the way nobody else could do. Rather of stiffening like usual, Lucifer hugged her back, truly happy by this effervescence. Ella strayed and looked at him somewhat startled by his reaction.</p>
<p>“Aww I missed you too buddy! How was the vacation?”</p>
<p> “It was not really a vacation...” he started, hesitating. He didn’t know what Chloe told her to justify his sudden departure.</p>
<p>“Oh! Yes! That’s true. Some family business to take care of. Well, how it went? Everything’s settled?”</p>
<p>“Not really. I may have to go back,” he answered flatly.</p>
<p>“Oh! Sorry man. Family stuff can be hard sometimes. You look tired by the way. Don’t push too hard on yourself buddy!”</p>
<p>“I will try.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure you’re ok? I don’t know, you don’t look like yourself. I mean, like the six months ago Lucifer.”</p>
<p>“I’m fine miss Lopez.”</p>
<p>“So, what about the case?” interrupted Chloe, gesturing at Ella to stop talking about that. She was seeing Lucifer’s mood was changing and family was a banned topic on Linda’s list. </p>
<p>“Oh yes! Of course! So, meet poor Nathan Sattler.”</p>
<p>Ella went back to the corpse and gave all details they found until now. As usual, she was gesticulating to all the evidence they founded with detailed information. Nathan, 31 years old, was found dead by the gardener this morning. He was shot on the back three times but she was not sure if he was shot in the kitchen where they found the body or if it was at the entrance because there was blood dripping from the corpse to there. They were searching for more traces outside. The other possibility for this blood dripping was that the murderer was also hurt before leaving. They would do DNA tests at the lab.</p>
<p>Nathan was the co-owner and newly president of a video game company. His father had sold the company five years ago to him and his brother and they both owned fifty percent. Until last week, his brother was the president but he left his position for personal reasons. </p>
<p>Chloe and Lucifer took the gardener’s statement and that of some curious neighbours looking at the crime scene. The brother had been seen at dinner time last evening and he was most likely the last person who saw Nathan alive. A warrant was issued against him. Lucifer was so angry when he learned that the killer was possibly the victim’s brother that Chloe had to ask him to wait in the car. </p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>It was obvious that Lucifer’s mood had drop pretty low. All way back to Lux, he didn’t say a word. Ten minutes before their destination, Chloe asked if he’d like to stop somewhere for lunch.</p>
<p>“Sorry Detective, I’m not hungry, but we can get you something. What would you like?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Sushi maybe?”</p>
<p>“So sushi we will buy.”</p>
<p>Chloe bought a little more than she planned to eat, hoping that Lucifer would change his mind. When they arrived at the penthouse, she sat at the counter with the sushi box while Lucifer poured himself a whiskey.</p>
<p>“You’d like one?” he asked. </p>
<p>“Not with sushi. Maybe later.”</p>
<p>“I may have sake downstairs.”</p>
<p>“No really, thank you.”</p>
<p>Lucifer sat on the couch and they both remained silent for the next fifteen minutes.</p>
<p>“I will have some extra sushi. You want them?”</p>
<p>Receiving no answers, she looked at him and realized he was sleeping, the empty glass on his lap. It was not a surprise with the night he had. Ella was right. He was tired. She put the remaining sushi in the fridge and went on the balcony to call Dan and inform him about the case. It was no use this morning to be both at the scene but she could use his help tomorrow.</p>
<p>When she came back inside, Lucifer was still sleeping but his sleep was agitated. She was hoping it wasn’t more nightmares but unfortunately, ten minutes later she had the confirmation it was. He screamed, sat up straight and the glass drop on the floor and broke. She rubbed his back trying to comfort him but like the previous times, he was tensed and agitated.</p>
<p>“Why? WHY?!” he screamed with a haunted look in his eyes. “Why you keep dying every time I fall asleep?”</p>
<p>“Linda said it was probably because you were afraid of losing me. I won’t leave Lucifer. I love you.”</p>
<p>He looked at her with sad eyes. </p>
<p>“I know Detective but maybe it’s me who will have to leave. Remiel won’t stay in Hell forever and if we don’t find another solution, I will have to go back.”</p>
<p>“How many siblings do you have?”</p>
<p>“I‘m not sure, I never counted but I have a lot.”</p>
<p>“Well, maybe you can take turns. A week or two each so nobody will have to stay there long and Earth will stay safe.”</p>
<p>“It won’t work. Most of my siblings are still mad at me for my rebellion and they won’t help.”</p>
<p>“I did know you had a dysfunctional family but not at this point. I can’t believe you can’t find some help within them.”</p>
<p>“Sorry to disappoint you Detective. I’m kind of the black sheep of the family.”</p>
<p>Silent felt among them. Lucifer took a broom and a dustpan under the counter to clean up the broken glass and threw away the debris. He then headed to the bar, filled a glass of whiskey, drank it in a few sips and filled it again. Chloe didn’t know what to do so she sat in silence until he calms down. After a while, he sat beside her and put his hand on her knee. She started cuddling him, more to relax him than to go any further but Lucifer stopped her movement.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry Detective. I’m not in the mood right now. I want our first time to be special, not to screw it. ”</p>
<p>“Stop being sorry for everything, Lucifer. You don’t have to be and I understand.”</p>
<p>After a moment of silence Lucifer propose to play a game Monopoly. Since playing Monopoly was more fun with many people, they invited Linda and Amenadiel to play. They spend the afternoon at Linda’s place and once again, they ate dinner there.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>They were back at the penthouse and Lucifer was getting tensed by the hour.</p>
<p>“I know you are afraid to sleep but you need to. We have a case to solve tomorrow and I want my partner to be in shape.”</p>
<p>Reluctantly he followed her to the bed but he had no intention to sleep. If he had been able to stay awake for an entire week when he thought he was the San Bernardino’s angel, he was able to stay awake for a night. However, it was not so easy with Chloe beside him. When he tried to slip out of bed, she changed position and put her head on his shoulder. He ended up falling asleep without realizing. And once again, he woke up panting, terror in his eyes.</p>
<p>“Must be some trick of my Father to make sure I won’t stay here!”</p>
<p>“I will ask Linda tomorrow if she can prescribe you some pills to sleep. Maybe it will work if you take them when I’m close to you.”</p>
<p>“And what? Instead of waking up I will just spend all night watching you die? Not interested.”</p>
<p>“Well, usually you don’t dream with those. It’s worth a try.”</p>
<p>He mumbled an answer but she wasn’t able to understand it. He got out of bed but Chloe tried to hold him back.</p>
<p>“Stay with me please. Even if you don’t sleep.”</p>
<p>“I’ll be back.”</p>
<p>He went to the bathroom and found some cocaine in a drawer. He was not going to sleep. He flushed the toilet even if he didn’t go so Chloe wouldn’t ask what he was doing there. After washing his hands and make sure no trace of cocaine subsided on his face, he went back to bed.</p>
<p>When Chloe woke up the next morning, he was already up and cooking some eggs, potato and ham. She noticed the bags under his eyes and his tired look but at the same time, he seemed on a high. Some drugs probably. She said nothing. No use for a quarrel this morning.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>When they arrived at precinct, everybody seemed so happy to see Lucifer that the first few minutes were nothing but greetings. When Dan arrived, his “Hey Lucifer, how was the vacations?” – that Lucifer had heard at least ten times yet – was too much.</p>
<p>“It was NOT a vacation!” he snapped harshly and he went straight to Ella’s lab.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong with him? I know he don’t like me but this is enough! I...”</p>
<p>“Relax Dan. Give him a break. He had a rough time in the last months and he needs understanding, not to get push around.”</p>
<p>“You always give him excuses. Everybody does. When will you realize he’s not a good guy?”</p>
<p>“You don’t know anything about him or what he’s going through. Stop judging when you don’t know all facts.” she answered more abruptly than she intended too. She headed to Lucifer and Ella without letting Dan time to answer.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>“Mornin’ Lucifer!” Ella said as he entered the room. “How was...” she stopped in mid-sentence, staring at him. </p>
<p>“Hey, man, I told you to sleep, not to <em>not sleep</em>. Are you ok?”</p>
<p>“I’m fine miss Lopez. Please stop asking.”</p>
<p>It was obvious he was not but Ella didn’t reply.</p>
<p>“So, what about the case? Something new?”</p>
<p>Before Ella could begin, Chloe entered in the room with a furious look on her face.</p>
<p>“Hey Chloe!” greeted Ella. She took a closer look and frowned.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong with you too?”</p>
<p>“Nothing.” they both answered simultaneously. </p>
<p>Ella didn’t know if it was a relationship problem or something else so she added nothing. Dan joined in few minutes later to work the case with them but the ambience was dreadfully cold.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>It’s only in late morning that they received the lab results for DNA. As Ella suspected, there were two different men in the room. One was the victim’s but they didn’t found a match for the other in the search base. However, they knew for sure they were family related.</p>
<p>“I will need to go back there to check back all evidence. Are you coming with me?” </p>
<p>“Sure.”</p>
<p>They took Chloe’s car to go. No needs for two cars with this half an hour drive.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>When they entered the mansion, Ella went to the kitchen where the body had been found and Chloe followed her. Dan took Lucifer arm and led him to a room in the back of the house.</p>
<p>“We need to talk. I know you don’t like me but I can’t suffer your attitude any longer. What’s your problem?”</p>
<p>Before Lucifer could answer, they heard gunshots.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>The moment Ella entered the kitchen, she knew something was wrong. She stopped at the entrance Chloe bumping in her back, noticed the man who was standing there and suddenly Rae-Rae appeared in front of her.</p>
<p>“Get down!” she yelled as she was extending her wings over the two girls. The man emptied his charger, unaware of the invisible angel above them. </p>
<p>Dan and Lucifer rushed in the room few seconds after the man shut his last bullet. Dan aimed him but Lucifer bypassed everyone and grasped the man at the collar with flaring red eyes.  He lifted him and struck him on the wall, strangling him.</p>
<p>“How dare you!”</p>
<p>“I got this Lucifer!” shouted Dan but Lucifer was so angry that he didn’t let go.</p>
<p>Chloe stood up and went toward them.</p>
<p> “Lucifer, stop, please,” she said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. She knew Lucifer was furious and that he needed to be calmed down.</p>
<p>Lucifer finally let him dropped on the floor but he had to wait few more seconds before his eyes stopped flaring and be able to turn back. The man was gasping for air at his feet and they all knew that a few more seconds would have been fatal.</p>
<p>“Don’t you see he’s out of control?” asked Dan to Chloe while he was handcuffing their assailant. Chloe was already calling the precinct to get a car to send the man under custody. </p>
<p>“I will wait in your car with him,” he said with a last look at Lucifer as he was getting out of the room.</p>
<p>Ella was still kneeling on the floor a casing in hand. She looked up at Rae-Rae who was standing in a corner. What followed seemed nonsense to Chloe and Lucifer who weren’t seeing Rae-Rae.</p>
<p>“What happened? Did you protect us?”</p>
<p>“Kind of,” the angel answered shyly.</p>
<p>“But how? I didn’t know ghosts could stop bullets.”</p>
<p>“You’re ghost friend is here Ella?” asked Chloe who was following only half of the conversation.</p>
<p>“Azrael, show yourself!” ordered Lucifer. </p>
<p>Chloe was even more confused by Lucifer intervention. She understood the moment the angel showed herself. </p>
<p>“Is she one of your siblings?” she asked Lucifer.</p>
<p>“Yes, my younger sister.”</p>
<p>“Oh man! I didn’t know your sister was dead,” Ella said. “I’m so sorry for you!”</p>
<p>She was going to hug Lucifer when she stop mid-course. “Wait! She’s you’re younger sister? But I know her for twenty years or so! How can she be your younger sister if she died more than twenty years ago and looked like that? And how a ghost can stop bullets?”</p>
<p>Lucifer and Chloe looked at each other.</p>
<p>“Maybe it’s time to tell her,” said Chloe.</p>
<p>“You’re honor, Azrael.”</p>
<p>Azrael looked at Lucifer.</p>
<p>“You sure about this brother?”</p>
<p>Lucifer nodded.</p>
<p>“Ella, I’m sorry, I lied to you. I should have told you before but, Dad’s rules, you know? Well, I’m not a ghost, I’m an angel.’”</p>
<p>“You’re an angel? My guardian angel? Is it what you were doing when we first met?”</p>
<p>“I’m not really a guardian angel. I was not supposed to protect you today but I couldn’t let my favorite brother’s friends got killed.”</p>
<p>Azrael’s words made their way through Lucifer’s mind. <em>“I was not supposed to protect you today but I couldn’t let my favorite brother’s friends got killed.”</em> He hadn’t been able to protect them. If Azrael didn’t showed up, they would have both died. He would have lost them forever. His sister had to break one of the most important angel of death’s rules and she would surely have problems for that. And it was his fault. </p>
<p>He was too tired, wasn’t thinking right. Something broke in him. Being here on Earth was a mistake. The nightmares were a sign. The more he would see his friends, the more they would miss him when they would inevitably die. He had to stop all this suffering, now.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” he said to Chloe.</p>
<p>He took a few steps back, spread his wings and disappeared.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Prayers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chloe fall on her knees.</p>
<p>“No! No, no, NO! You can’t let me down again!” she screamed at the emptiness in front of her.</p>
<p>“He probably just needed some air,” said Azrael softly.</p>
<p>Chloe shook her head, tears running down her cheeks.</p>
<p>“He’s gone back there. I know it. I feel it.”</p>
<p>Beside her, Ella had not flinched, her mind racing furiously. When Rae-Rae said she was an angel, she felt excited about having her own guardian angel. Not a second she thought about the fact that Lucifer was Rae-Rae’s brother. She never made the connection that if Rae-Rae was an angel Lucifer too had to be one too.</p>
<p>Rae-Rae looked at both women and knew she had to do something. Chloe looked devastated while Ella seemed to be in total shock.</p>
<p>“Okay girls. I know it’s a lot to deal with but let’s discuss this in the living room.” </p>
<p>She led them to the couch and forced them to sit. As if something had suddenly lit up in Ella’s mind, she began to speak at full speed.</p>
<p>“Oh my God! Oh my God! He’s an angel! Oh man, have you seen those wings? So amazing! I never saw something more beautiful! Rae-Rae is it how you protected us? With your wings? I just can’t believe I have two angel friends.”</p>
<p>This babbling had a curious effect on Chloe. Ella’s reaction was so incongruous that she couldn’t help herself and started laughing. </p>
<p>“Ella you’re so amazing!”</p>
<p>“You’re in love with an angel! That’s what’s amazing!”</p>
<p>“Well, you know he’s the Devil, right?”</p>
<p>“Yes, that’s what he said, but he’s a good man, not evil at all. That means that everybody was wrong to think that the Devil is bad. If no one ever really knew him like we do, everybody just thought he was bad because he was banished from Heaven but one mistake doesn’t means you’re evil.”</p>
<p>“You’re pretty right actually,” Rae-Rae said. “He led a rebellion but it was only to obtain the right to have free will. He was my favorite brother – in fact he still is – and you’re right that he’s good. It’s so unfair to be punished like that for eternity.”</p>
<p>“And that he had to leave his friends to protect them,” add Chloe.</p>
<p>“What do you means?”</p>
<p>“Ella, the six months he’s been away, he was in Hell to prevent demons from spilling on Earth. You remembered the massacre at the Mayan? It was the work of demons.”</p>
<p>“He was in Hell? Oh man, no surprised he seemed so different. Must be terrible out there!”</p>
<p>“It is,” Rae-Rae confirm. It’s not a place you want to go.</p>
<p>“And he’s back there anyway to fulfill his punishment. Rae-Rae, can you check how he’s doing please? I’m really worried about him.”</p>
<p>“Sure, I will.”</p>
<p>“Well, I should go back to work,” said Ella. “I’m confident we got our murderer but I want to make sure we don’t forget anything.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Lucifer arrived in front of his throne and cast Remiel out of it. He settled and tried not to think anymore, to forget the loss. Perhaps if he stood still, did not move at all, he would be able stop suffering so much. The pain was so intense he could hardly breathe. His only comfort was that here at least, he wouldn’t have those horrible nightmares anymore.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Dan walked into the room saying the cops had just left with their suspect. </p>
<p>“Are you done here?”</p>
<p>“Almost”</p>
<p>“Where’s Lucifer?”</p>
<p>“Gone”</p>
<p>“What do you mean, gone?”</p>
<p>“You should have been here, Dan!” Ella said, all excited. “It was amazing! He just opened his wings and disappeared.”</p>
<p>“Very funny. Where is he?”</p>
<p>“She told you the truth Dan. No kidding here.”</p>
<p>“He’s an angel!” Ella added.</p>
<p>“No way this guy is an angel! It’s more the opposite.”</p>
<p>Dan stopped and looked at them suddenly aware of what he just said. <em>More the opposite.</em> The guy claimed for years he’s the Devil.</p>
<p>“No way,” he said more for himself than for them.</p>
<p>“Dan,” Chloe said gently, putting a hand on his shoulder. “He is the Devil but he’s not bad. He suffered a lot just to protect us.”</p>
<p>“You are telling me the Devil really exists and that he’s Lucifer? How am I supposed to believe that?”</p>
<p>Dan started laughing but it was a mirthless chuckle. <em>If</em> it was true and <em>if</em> the Devil really existed, it meant that Hell too. And with everything he had done he was pretty sure he’d end up there. No, it couldn’t be true. It couldn’t.</p>
<p>“I know it’s hard to believe and I can’t give you proof of that but I swear Dan it’s the truth. Lucifer is the actual Devil. That’s why I went to Europe for a month, trying to process all that after I saw his devil face.”</p>
<p>Dan almost collapsed and Chloe had to help him sit down.</p>
<p>“He won’t hurt you Dan. I know you don’t have the best relationship but even if he teased you all the time, he likes you.”</p>
<p>“It’s not that. It’s just...” But he couldn’t say what he had in mind. He would need to have a conversation with Lucifer.</p>
<p>“Will he be back tomorrow?” he heard himself ask.</p>
<p>“Maybe but I don’t think so. He might never be able to come back at all. His sister will go check on him.”</p>
<p>His sister. Of course Lucifer had siblings and Amenadiel was one of them. Maybe it would be easier to talk with him about this. </p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Rae-Rae arrived in Hell and shivered. She hated this place so much. She went to Lucifer’s throne and stand in front of him.</p>
<p>“Brother, why did you leave? Your friends are missing you and are worried.”</p>
<p>Lucifer didn’t respond and kept looking in front of him. Azrael frowned.</p>
<p>“Brother you hear me?”</p>
<p>She went closer and shook his shoulder. His stiffness puzzled her.</p>
<p>“Brother?”</p>
<p>Something was wrong. Instead of answering, he stiffens even more. She tried to pull him off the throne but it was like he was a part of it. He didn’t budge at all. Okay Rae-Rae, she told herself, time to get some reinforcements.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Back to the precinct, Chloe offered Dan to take his afternoon off. She would cover for him. He agreed, still in shock. Once Dan left, Chloe called Amenadiel so he could bring back Lucifer Corvette to the Lux. She didn’t want his precious car to be scratched in his absence.<br/>
She and Ella worked on the case all afternoon. Chloe totally invested herself in work. It helped her keep Lucifer out of her thoughts. She questioned their suspect – the father of the victim – but was unable to obtain a confession. Fortunately, since he was also detained for attempted murder, she was able to keep him in custody. They had to find more evidence.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Rae-Rae went to see Amenadiel but he’s been busy all afternoon and evening. Even though she was able to show herself only to him, she knew it wasn’t a good idea. Humans were freaking out when someone seemed to be talking alone. She’s been only able to talk to him the next morning. </p>
<p>Amenadiel didn’t seem surprised of the situation. He said that he had done pretty much the same when he got him two days earlier. But a few hours later, when he was finally able to go check on him, he realized that it was much worse than the previous time. Even with all his strength, he wasn’t able to take him out of his throne. He didn’t move an inch. Once again, he had to go to the Silver City for help.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Dan was back at work on the next morning. When Chloe tried to know how he was going, he just answered he had spoken to Amenadiel about it and that he was fine. Chloe didn’t insist. She went to Ella’s lab to know if Rae-Rae came back to her.</p>
<p>“Nope, sorry. But I’m sure she’ll keep me informed.”</p>
<p>In the middle of the afternoon, they finally got a breakthrough in the case. The brother had been found and the blood on the scene was his. But he was not the killer. More the killer’s victim. Chloe and Ella learned that their father tried to kill them both because he was angry that they decided to put Nathan as president. He thought he didn’t deserve the president’s title and when he spoke to his sons about it, they both refused to take things back the way they were. Case solved.</p>
<p>Before leaving the precinct, Chloe asked once again about Rae-Rae but there were still no news. Chloe sighed. She had a bad feeling about that.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Ella used to pray every night but this time her prayers were a bit different.</p>
<p>
  <em>Rae-Rae, I don’t know if you can hear me but we are worried about Lucifer. Can you give me some news, please?</em>
</p>
<p>Few seconds later, Rae-Rae appears in front of her.</p>
<p>“You heard me?”</p>
<p>“Of course I did. When a prayer is sent to us, we hear it even though we can’t answer.”</p>
<p>“Did you found Lucifer?”</p>
<p>“Yes, but he didn’t want to come back. I asked Amenadiel for his help.”</p>
<p>“He didn’t want to? Did you tell him we missed him?”</p>
<p>“Yes, but I think he’s afraid to let the throne vacant.” She remained vague, not wanting to worry her friend unnecessarily.</p>
<p>Rae-Rae gone, Ella sent a new prayer.</p>
<p>
  <em>Lucifer, it’s me, Ella. We missed you man, please come back.</em>
</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Amenadiel had a hard time finding help. Nobody wanted to take Lucifer’s position on throne. He then changed his tactic and looked for one of his brothers to simply help him get Lucifer out of it. He would take care of his replacement later. Against all odds, Michael showed up.</p>
<p>“You’re the last one I was expecting for.”</p>
<p>“Lucifer is not useful right now. I’m only doing this so you can help him get better and bring him back to where he belongs.”</p>
<p>Amenadiel didn’t answer. Michael was not helping for the good reasons but at least he was helping. Even with all the strength of the two brothers, they couldn’t get him out of the throne. The more they were pulling, the stiffer he got. And this whole time, he was staring ahead, not even blinking.</p>
<p>
  <em>Lucifer, it’s me, Ella. We missed you man, please come back.</em>
</p>
<p>Amenadiel and Michael didn’t hear the prayer but for few seconds Lucifer seemed to relax, even if his gaze didn’t flinch. That was all they needed. They pull him out and went to Earth.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>It was past ten o’clock in the evening when the angels came back at Linda’s house. She didn’t expect to find him in this state. She imagined that Lucifer’s condition would be similar to that a few days ago, but that was far from the case. Amenadiel and Michael laid him on the bed where he stayed still on his back, eyes watching the ceiling.</p>
<p>“What happened?”</p>
<p>“We don’t know. We found him like this.”</p>
<p>“Lucifer, do you hear me?”</p>
<p>No answer. Okay, this was bad she thought. Catalepsy, mutism, stupor, there was only one state that could cause all this: catatonic depression. She knew the treatment but would need Chloe to make it work. She looked at the time. This should wait until tomorrow.</p>
<p>At seven o’clock the next morning she texted Chloe. <em>I would need your help today. Is it possible for you to take the day off? It’s important.</em> The answer came almost immediately: <em>Sure. I will call sick. </em></p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Even though Linda hadn’t told her much Chloe knew it was about Lucifer. </p>
<p>“Where is he?” she asked on arrival.</p>
<p>Before taking her to the room, Linda explained the situation. She already bought the benzodiazepine she would need but Chloe had to be there if they wanted it to be effective. Furthermore, as she had to inject the drug, Lucifer refusing to drink – or even open his mouth –, it wouldn’t work if Chloe was not at his side to make him vulnerable.</p>
<p>It was a hard day. Chloe was not even able to touch him because every time she did, he stiffened under her contact. She stood by his side just watching him while he stood perfectly still, staring at the ceiling. Every three hours, Linda was giving him a new shot but the drug was ineffective so far. From time to time he was falling asleep but the only difference was his eyes closed. And each time he was waking up panting, tensed but without a sound and she knew he just had a nightmare.</p>
<p>“I don’t understand,” Linda said in the middle of the afternoon. “Usually this treatment work very well when we start it soon like we did. I just hope it’s not his immortal status that stands in the way. He will need to be hospitalized if he doesn’t get better by tomorrow evening. He can’t stay without eating and drinking for more than that.”</p>
<p>“Maybe we didn’t start this treatment so soon. Time lapse is very different in Hell and he’s been away for around a day and a half. That’s probably a whole year in Hell.”</p>
<p>“Oh God! If it’s the case, we have to think about a new plan.”</p>
<p>Chloe called Dan to ask him if he could take care of Trixie for the night. He agreed, not without asking if everything was okay. She reassured him and hangs up.</p>
<p>She saw Ella had texted four times since the morning. Chloe decided to call her. She ought to know the truth.</p>
<p>“I will pray for him,” she said.</p>
<p>The next morning, Chloe called sick again. Lucifer had begun to show signs of dehydration and both women were hoping the treatment would be effective soon. A few times in the morning, Lucifer seemed to relax. It was not lasting long – a few seconds or a minute – but it was a good sign Linda said. </p>
<p>Suddenly, just after being relaxed for the fourth or fifth time, Lucifer sat in the bed. He seemed to be searching for something but his eyes were out of focus. Without warning, he stood up and growled, changing into his full devil form. Chloe startled and got out of the way.</p>
<p>“Where is my throne?” he asked with a deep feral tone.</p>
<p>One of his wings broke the ceiling lamp and the other sent the nightstand against the wall. He made a step forward but Chloe put a hand on his chest.</p>
<p>“Calm down Lucifer, you’re not in Hell. You are here with me, on Earth.”</p>
<p>He didn’t seem to hear her and pushed against her hand, trying to make another step. Even though he was severely weakened by dehydration and immobility, he remained a celestial being and Chloe knew she couldn’t hold him for long.</p>
<p>“Amenadiel!” she screamed.</p>
<p>Standing in the door frame, Linda was staring at the monster that was filling the room and it took her a few seconds to realize it was Lucifer. She had seen is devils face and wings but separately and the whole thing was a lot more impressive.</p>
<p>“Amenadiel is out.”</p>
<p>“Lucifer, listen to me!” Chloe tried again but she knew he wasn’t listening. She fumbled for her phone and called Ella.</p>
<p>“No time to explain,” she said right as she answered. “Lucifer is really confused right now and we need a prayer or two here. He really needs to calm down and gain a foothold back in the real world.” </p>
<p>
  <em>“Lucifer, it’s me, Ella” </em>she began quickly.<em> “You need to calm down. I know you’re confused but please listen to me.”</em>
</p>
<p>Lucifer immediately stopped pushing and started searching for where the voice came from.</p>
<p>“It works Ella, keep going!”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Lucifer, you need to focus. Chloe is right in front of you. She’s waiting for you but you need to go back to her. She loves you.”</em>
</p>
<p>He looked  puzzled for a few more seconds and then stared at Chloe. He turned his head toward Linda, saw she seemed almost in shock, and finally looked at his own hands. Realizing he was in full devil form he set it back to control, take a last look at Chloe before his knees gave way and he lose consciousness.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Pain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The room was a total mess. Glass debris from the broken ceiling lamp were scattered on the bed and the floor and the sheets were covered in ashes. The nightstand didn’t survive its flight across the room and lay against the wall, completely broken. </p>
<p>Lucifer was lying on the floor beside the bed, unconscious. His eyes were sunken by dehydration, his skin too pale and filthy shreds of fabric hung from his shoulders. Not his best portrait. When Amenadiel and Michael had brought him, they had tried to change his clothes but his immobility and stiffness had prevented them to do so. The jacket and shirt hadn’t withstood his transformation in full devil form. </p>
<p>Chloe pushed aside with her foot some glass debris and kneeled beside him.</p>
<p>“Wake up Lucifer.”</p>
<p>He moaned and slowly opened his eyes. He tried to push himself in a sitting position but was so weak that Chloe had to help him. He looked at her and then notified the chaos in the room, looking confused.</p>
<p>“What happened?” he mumbled in a hoarse voice.</p>
<p>“Let’s say this room is a little too small for your devil form.”</p>
<p>“What? I... I don’t remember. Why?” </p>
<p>“You were confused. I think you still thought you were in Hell.”</p>
<p>Linda, who had put herself together very quickly, was back in the room with a trashcan and a vacuum cleaner.</p>
<p>“How do you feel?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Thirsty.”</p>
<p>Linda went in the adjoining bathroom and came back with a half-full water glass. Lucifer took it with a shaky hand and Chloe helped him drink.</p>
<p>“More, please.” He asked.</p>
<p>“You will have to wait a little,” Linda answered. “You didn’t swallow anything in two days and you need to take it easy.” She started to pick up the biggest pieces of glass and put them in the trashcan. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry about this. I’ll pay you back.”</p>
<p>“No worries, this room needed to be redecorated anyway.”</p>
<p>“Where’s miss Lopez?” Lucifer asked suddenly.</p>
<p>“At the precinct, why?” Chloe said.</p>
<p>“At the... but... she was there earlier, no?”</p>
<p>“She was praying, Lucifer.”</p>
<p>“Praying? But I never heard prayers before. Nobody prays the Devil.”</p>
<p>“Well, you know Ella.”</p>
<p><em>Nobody prays the Devil.</em> That was so true. How alone he must have felt for millennia.</p>
<p>Amenadiel had just returned from the store and he showed up in the room, a package of diapers under his arm.</p>
<p>“What...” he began but Linda interrupted him.</p>
<p>“Lucifer needs a shower. Would you mind helping him?”</p>
<p>“Sure. Happy to see you’re back with us Luci.”</p>
<p>Lucifer tried to stand up but felt dizzy and had to sit back. His brother put the diapers against the wall and went to help him. He pulled him on his feet and, supporting most of his weight, brought Lucifer into the bathroom.</p>
<p>While Lucifer was under the shower, Linda and Chloe finished cleaning the room and changed the sheets on the bed.</p>
<p>“What’s the next step for him?” Chloe asked.</p>
<p>“He’ll need rest and therapy, but I think it will be a long journey.”</p>
<p>“I’ll be there for him.”</p>
<p>“I know, but I must warn you that it will be difficult for you too. I will be there if you need me.”</p>
<p>“Thank you Linda.”</p>
<p>Half an hour later Amenadiel brought Lucifer back to bed. He looked exhausted and grimaced when his brother helped him settle in.</p>
<p>“Are you hurt?” Chloe worried.</p>
<p>“My whole body aches.”</p>
<p>“That’s perfectly normal.” Linda said. “Your muscles have been tensed for a long time. It’s going to be back to normal in a day or two.”</p>
<p>“Now I just want to sleep.”</p>
<p>“Wait a little. I have something I’d like you to drink before.”</p>
<p>She came back with a nutrition shake that he emptied in few sips. He lay down and fell asleep in less than a minute.</p>
<p>It was the beginning of the afternoon and everybody had skipped lunch. Linda prepared an egg salad while Chloe called Dan to check if he could pick up Trixie tonight too.</p>
<p>“Are you sure you’re ok? What’s going on?”</p>
<p>“I’m fine, Dan, but Linda still need my help. I may take tomorrow off too but it should be fine after. I will let you know.”</p>
<p>Dan was pretty sure Chloe was lying and that all this was about Lucifer but he didn’t ask. Even if he had spoken with Amenadiel, he was still shivering to think he was the actual Devil. Furthermore, he was happy to have Trixie with him because this way he had less time to think.</p>
<p>“You should lie down too.” Linda says while they were eating.</p>
<p>“It’s a good idea. I will go home after lunch to take a shower and rest a little. Unless you think I should be here when he woke up?”</p>
<p>“He will be fine, we’ll handle this. You can come back later to eat dinner here.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to impose.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry. We’re happy to have you with us.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer woke up with a scream once again. Linda rushed into the room to find Lucifer shaking miserably.</p>
<p>“Help me doctor! I can’t bear anymore to see her die over and over again.”</p>
<p>“I know Lucifer, but there’s not much I can do about it. You need to find, deep down, the real reason for those nightmares.”</p>
<p>“I thought you said it was because I was afraid of losing her.”</p>
<p>“Consciously, yes, but it’s the reason deep down in your unconscious that is most important. Why are you afraid of losing her?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. I’m just too tired to think.” He took a deep breath. “I just wish I could die.”</p>
<p>“Oh Lucifer! Don’t say that! You know it’s not a solution! Think about your friends. Think about Chloe. How devastated she would be. And you may just end in a hell loop forever.”</p>
<p>“I know. I didn’t say I would try. I just wish I was not an immortal damned for eternity.”</p>
<p><em>Oh my God!</em> Linda thought. <em>How can I deal with this? There is no manual of psychiatry talking about depressed immortal, damnation or eternity.</em></p>
<p>“Meanwhile,” she said like if the last sentence didn’t affect her, “we can try sleep pills but it’s not a guarantee it will work with your metabolism.”</p>
<p>“Let’s try. I don’t think it could be worst anyway.”</p>
<p>“The normal dose is one or two so let’s try with four.”</p>
<p>“You think it will be enough?”</p>
<p>“Well, in half an hour we will know.”</p>
<p>She gave him the pills with a glass of water – full this time – and put the bottle on a shelf above the bed. They could hear a crying baby in the other room.</p>
<p>“I think Charlie needs me. I will be back later.”</p>
<p>“Sure. Thank you doctor.”</p>
<p>When she returned one hour later, he was snoring.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chloe found her front door unlock. She pulled her gun out and opened the door slowly.</p>
<p>“Decker! What are you doing here in the middle of the afternoon?”</p>
<p>“I live here Maze.” She put back her gun in her holster.</p>
<p>“Why the gun?”</p>
<p>“I thought someone had broken into the apartment.”</p>
<p>“Who would break in a cop apartment?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Why are you here by the way? I thought you were staying with Linda now.”</p>
<p>“Well, with the baby I thought I could settle here for a while.”</p>
<p>“Okay, I see. So you’re back from bounty hunting?”</p>
<p>“Yes, but you didn’t answered my question. You don’t work today? Dan told me you took some days off to help Linda. What she need for?”</p>
<p>“Lucifer is back.” There was no point lying at Maze.</p>
<p>“What? Why nobody told me?”</p>
<p>“Because you were out of town, Maze.”</p>
<p>“Right. But he could have texted me. Wait! Why is he at Linda’s?”</p>
<p>“He’s sick.”</p>
<p>“What? Lucifer is sick?” She started laughing. “He can’t be sick!”</p>
<p>Chloe didn’t answer. How Maze could really understand this situation? She was a demon after all. The look on Chloe’s face worried Maze.</p>
<p>“He is really sick? How could it be?”</p>
<p>“It’s not a physical sickness Maze. He’s deeply depressed and Linda is trying to help him.”</p>
<p>Few years back, Maze would have laugh at this statement. How could the Devil be depressed? But now, she knew it was possible. She had felt pretty low herself and knew it was not easy to get though.</p>
<p>“I see. I should really stay here then.”</p>
<p>“Yes, it’s probably better. Now, I will take a shower if you don’t mind.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chloe arrived for dinner a little before six. Lucifer was still asleep, Linda had checked on him less than fifteen minutes earlier. They talked for about half an hour before dinner was ready.</p>
<p>“I will check if Lucifer is still sleeping. Maybe he can join.”</p>
<p>She opened the door and listened. No more snoring. He probably shifted position but seems still asleep. She was about to get out of the room when she heard a strange rasping sound. She tried to turn on the light but remembered there was no lamp anymore. She went to the adjoining bathroom to be able to see more than few shadows.  This rasping sound again. Behind her this time. She quickly took one more step and turn on the light.</p>
<p>Nobody else was in the room except Lucifer, still lying on his back. <em>Still lying on his back.</em> She rushed toward him but the light from the bathroom was behind her and she could barely see. She went to get her phone on the kitchen counter and came back to the room.</p>
<p>“What’s going on?” she heard Chloe ask.</p>
<p>Without answering she turned on the phone light and stopped. Lucifer’s lips were blue and he was barely breathing. Gasping for air. She spotted the emptied bottle on the floor and understood everything in a flash. She had left the bottle in the room while he had just told her he wished to die. She was such an idiot!</p>
<p>Her mind raced. He was fine just before Chloe arrived. <em>Chloe.</em> She was the reason the pills were more effective and that he was now in overdose. She almost bumped into her while she was getting out.</p>
<p>“Chloe, I’m sorry but you have to leave, now!”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“The sleep pills, he took the whole bottle and now he’s in overdose. You need to leave if you don’t want him to die. Only his immortality can save him.”</p>
<p>“But why he...”</p>
<p>“I’ll explain later. Go!”</p>
<p>Chloe rushed to take back her belonging and left the house. Few minutes later, Lucifer breath eased. It took ten more minutes for his lips to return to their natural color but he was going to be fine.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did you forget something Decker?”</p>
<p>“No. The dinner is... cancelled.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>Chloe told what she could have understood of the situation.</p>
<p>“He tried to commit suicide? I’m gonna kill him!”</p>
<p>If the situation was not so dramatic she would have laugh. Linda called half an hour later.</p>
<p>“He will be fine.”</p>
<p>“Can I talk to him?”</p>
<p>“He’s still sleeping and with the quantity of pills he took, I think it will be for a while. You should go to sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next morning, Chloe didn’t wait for Linda’s call. At 7:30 she was at her doorstep. She knocked and Amenadiel opened her.</p>
<p>“You’re early!” Notifying the angry look he added: “He’s talking with Linda.”</p>
<p>“How could you?” she asked, irrupting in the room. She went closer and pushed him on the chest.</p>
<p>“How could you do that to me? What would I have become if you were dead?”</p>
<p>“Detective, I...”</p>
<p>“Why did you try to kill yourself?” Tears were running down her cheek and she wiped them furiously.</p>
<p>“I... I didn’t try to kill myself.”</p>
<p>“Don’t lie. You took the whole bottle!”</p>
<p>“I’m not lying. You know I don’t do that.”</p>
<p>“Why did you take the whole bottle then? What were you thinking?”</p>
<p>“I just wanted to sleep...” His voice broke. “so I could stop feeling so much pain.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Akuma</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>So I could stop feeling so much pain.</em> His last words were echoing in her head. She had just thought about her. At how <em>she</em> would have felt if he had died. At <em>her</em> pain. </p><p>“I’m sorry.” He said.</p><p>And <em>he</em> was sorry. She couldn’t stop crying, sobbing uncontrollably. He put his arm around her, rubbing her back.</p><p>“I’m fine, Chloe. I won’t die.” And he was trying to comfort her while he was the one depressed. Did he call her Chloe?</p><p>“It was a mistake,” he continued, his voice shaking. “When I saw the pills weren’t effective I took some more and more a little later, until the bottle was empty. I never thought it could be dangerous.”</p><p>A four years old child. Not aware of the danger. Not knowing what could be dangerous. She looked at him. He was crying too, even though very few tears wet his eyes. She frowned, but before she could say anything, Linda handed him a graduated reusable water bottle.</p><p>“Drink that. I want this bottle emptied by noon.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You’re still dehydrated Lucifer. If the pills didn’t kill you, the dehydration could.”</p><p>He took the bottle and drank a few sips.</p><p>“I’m sorry to cause you so much trouble.”</p><p>“Okay, that’s enough. Stop that.” Linda said angrily.</p><p>“Stop what?” He replied without understanding.</p><p>“To feel responsible for everything. I know that all your life everybody kept saying it was Devil’s fault but it’s not. Stop feeling sorry. You don’t have to be. You are not causing trouble. We are friends and friends are helping each others. It’s not trouble.”</p><p>Lucifer was about to answered something when he stopped, eyes at the ceiling.</p><p>
  <em>Good morning Lucifer! It’s Ella again! I hope you slept well!</em>
</p><p>“What?” Chloe said. He put is index in the air, his gaze still at the ceiling.</p><p>
  <em>I just want to wish you a good day Lucifer. Can’t wait to see you back!</em>
</p><p>A vague smile appeared on his face. </p><p>“Miss Lopez.” He said. “Please tell her to have a good day too.”</p><p>“Are you sure I should go to work. If you need me...”</p><p>“I’ll be fine.”</p><p>__________</p><p>“Linda, I have a surprise!” claimed Amenadiel a few hours later, coming back from some shopping.</p><p>“What surpri... are you serious?” </p><p>Amenadiel was standing in the living room, a puppy in his arms.</p><p>“No. Nooo, no, no, no. You can’t be serious!”</p><p>“Why not? Look at him. Isn’t it the cutest thing you ever saw?”</p><p>To be cute, it was. The ten weeks Australian Shepherd was the cutest dog ever. Fluffy light grey fur with darker spots all over, light brown on its paws and cheeks with two little spots above the eyes, the latter surrounded by black fur. A white muzzle and chest, and blue eyes. Electrifying blue eyes.</p><p>“Amenadiel, do you really think we can raise two babies? And with Lucifer to take care of too. It might be too much.”</p><p>“Well I suppose they can take it back...”</p><p>Linda looked at the puppy who tilted his head, as if to study her. His eyes looked so smart she thought. </p><p>“Let me thing about this for a few hours, okay?”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>__________</p><p>Lucifer was curled up in bed, half asleep. Even if he had slept for fourteen hours, he still felt tired. The few steps to the bathroom ten minutes earlier had seemed to him a real expedition. Suddenly something caught his attention. A wet something. On his hand. He lifted his head from the bed and spotted a dog. Licking his hand. LICKING HIS HAND! He quickly removed it and recoiled back in bed.</p><p>“Bloody hell!”</p><p>The puppy sat and looked at him, probably hoping to be petted. </p><p>“Sorry about that Luci,” Amenadiel said, entering in the room. He grabs the puppy to bring it back in the living room.</p><p>“What the hell is that?”</p><p>“A puppy.”</p><p>“I know it’s a puppy, I’m not silly, but what is it doing here?”</p><p>“I thought it was a good idea but everybody seems to think it’s not.” He shot the door angrily.</p><p>Lucifer looked at his hand still wet. He needed a shower.</p><p>________</p><p>For the last minute, the puppy was scratching and moaning at Lucifer’s door. </p><p>“Stop that!” Amenadiel shouted. Linda hadn’t wrapped her mind yet concerning the dog but he was pretty sure he would have to bring it back. The puppy barked. </p><p>“What’s going on?” Linda asked.</p><p>“I think it want to go back in Lucifer’s room.”</p><p>“It went there?”</p><p>“Yes, twenty minutes ago.”</p><p>“How Lucifer reacted?”</p><p>“Not very well.”</p><p>Linda went at the door and knocked.</p><p>“Lucifer?” </p><p>No answer. She opened it slightly and the dog rush inside.</p><p>“No! Wait!”</p><p>Lucifer was not in bed.</p><p>“Lucifer?” she asked again. Still no answer but the puppy was now sitting in front of the bathroom door.</p><p>“Lucifer, are you in there?”</p><p>As she got closer, she heard a moaning. Not waiting any longer, she opened the door. Lucifer was sitting on the shower floor, arms around his legs, naked and shivering. Linda took a bath towel and wrapped him in.</p><p>“What happened?”<br/>
“I think I passed out,” he answered weakly.</p><p>“What are you doing in the shower in the first place? You know you should wait Amenadiel for that. You’re not strong enough yet.”</p><p>“This thing licked me and I felt an urgent need to wash.” He pointed at the dog.</p><p>“This is not a thing, Lucifer and he just saved you by the way. You may have waited for hours if he hadn’t warned us.” She was now referring at the dog as a he, like a member of the family, not a simple pet. “And this thing as you say it gonna stay, so deal with it.”</p><p>Lucifer gave her a horrified look but stay quiet. Amenadiel helped him get dressed and go back to bed. Linda notified the water bottle still more than half full.</p><p>“Lucifer, I asked you to drink. This is not a joke. No wonder why you fainted.” She handed him the bottle. “Drink.”</p><p>__________</p><p>“Why I won’t be able to see Lucifer? He doesn’t want to see me?”</p><p>“It’s not that monkey. Lucifer is sick and very weak.”</p><p>“Is he contagious?”</p><p>“No! Not at all!”</p><p>They were on their way to Linda and Amenadiel to eat dinner. <em>I won’t kick you out this time, I promise.</em> Linda had said, laughing. <em>And we have a surprise!</em> She wondered what it was.</p><p>“Monkey, do you know what a depression is?”</p><p>“Is it when someone is very sad and can’t stop crying?”</p><p>“Sort of.”</p><p>“It’s what Lucifer has?”</p><p>“Yes monkey.” </p><p>“But I thought friends were there to help each other. Why he doesn’t want to see me? I miss him! I thought I was his friend.”</p><p>“It’s not that he doesn’t want to see you. Listen, I will try to talk to him about this okay?”</p><p>“Okay.” She felt silent for a few moments. “I don’t understand how Lucifer can have a depression. He’s so funny. I thought funny people couldn’t have that kind of thing.”</p><p>“It can happen to anybody monkey. You see, during the six months he left, he had a terrible job to do and he missed his friends very much. I think it’s the reason he’s like this.”</p><p>__________</p><p>Trixie was all excited about the puppy.</p><p>“He is soooo cute! What’s his name?”</p><p>“Akuma.”</p><p>“That’s a strange name but I like it.”</p><p>“I didn’t choose it. It was already his name when we adopt him.”</p><p>Trixie petted the puppy for few minutes and went to talk to Chloe’s ear. “Will you talked with Lucifer?” she whispered. “Okay, I will,” Chloe answered the same way.</p><p>Amenadiel had changed the ceiling lamp. Lucifer was once again curled up in bed but was awake. Chloe sat beside him.</p><p>“How do you feel?”</p><p>“Tired.”</p><p>She rubbed his arm.</p><p>“Trixie would like to see you.”</p><p>“Do I look like someone presentable? I’m not even able to take a shower alone.”</p><p>“Lucifer, Trixie doesn’t mind at what you look like. She just wanted to see you. She misses you.”</p><p>“You really think it’s a good idea that she sees me like that?”</p><p>“Yes, I’m sure.”</p><p>He sighed, nodded and she helped him sit in the bed.</p><p>“You’re very sure about this?”</p><p>“Can’t be more.”</p><p>“Yeah!” said Trixie when Chloe told her and she went toward the room, Akuma in her arms.</p><p>“It’s better to let the puppy here, honey,” Linda said.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Well, Lucifer is not too fond of animals.” She didn’t want to tell her what he had said earlier about that thing.</p><p>“But animals are good for depression. My friend Mia’s mother had a depression too and they bought a dog for her.”</p><p>“Okay then, but don’t stand too close to him with it and don’t let him lick.”</p><p>“I promised.”</p><p>She entered the room gently. Lucifer was sitting on the bed with pillows behind his back. He looked tired but not so bad she thought. He was not crying.</p><p>“Hi Lucifer!”</p><p>“Hi little urchin.” He spotted the puppy. “That thing could have stayed outside,” he mumbled.</p><p>“It’s not a thing, he’s Akuma!”</p><p>“Akuma? What an interesting name. Amenadiel gave him?”</p><p>“No. He said it was already his.”</p><p>She sat on the chair beside him and the puppy put his front paws on the bed. Lucifer recoiled, a strange look on his face.</p><p>“You’re not afraid of him don’t you? He’s just a puppy!”</p><p>He didn’t answer, still looking at the dog like if it was something he should stay away from at any price. </p><p>“His fur is so soft. Don’t you want to pet him?”</p><p>“Why would I do such a thing?”</p><p>“Oh C’mon Lucifer. He won’t bite you.”</p><p>She took Lucifer’s hand and put it on the puppy’s back. He quickly remove it like if the dog was electrified but then slowly bring it back and touched it with his fingertips.</p><p>“You’re right. It is soft.”</p><p>Trixie looked at him as he was very gently petting the dog, still with his fingertips only. He looked a little scared but seemed to appreciate the touch. Akuma lay on Trixie’s lap and put his head on the bed.</p><p>“You never petted a dog before?”</p><p>“Not really.”</p><p>“That’s so sad. Will you come home tomorrow to play Monopoly?”</p><p>“I’m barely able to walk to the door,” he said sadly. “Maybe another time?”</p><p>“We can play here if you prefer.”</p><p>“I’m sorry urchin. I’m not sure I will be able to stay awake for that long.”</p><p>“Another time then.”</p><p>While talking, Lucifer had continued to pet Akuma but now his whole hand was on the dog, not just the fingertips. Trixie noticed it.</p><p>“He’s cute isn’t it?”</p><p>“Yes indeed. You’re a cute little devil,” he said at Akuma who was looking at him. The dog stretched and licked Lucifer’s hand that was on his lap.</p><p>“Yuck!” He lifted his hand and looked at it in disgust.</p><p>“That’s okay Lucifer,” Trixie laugh.</p><p>“That’s disgusting!”</p><p>Trixie took a corner of the bed cover and wiped Lucifer’s hand.</p><p>“That’s still dirty. I need to wash it.”</p><p>“Okay, wait.”</p><p>She took the puppy from her thighs and put it on Lucifer’s. He stiffened a little but said nothing. Trixie went to the adjoining bathroom, wet a towel and came back to wash his hand.</p><p>“Better now?”</p><p>“Yes. Thank you urchin.”</p><p>Akuma had settled on Lucifer, his head towards him, the blue eyes staring. Lucifer kept petting the dog with one hand, keeping the other far from the dog muzzle.<br/>
“Why are you looking at me like this little devil?”</p><p>Trixie laugh “Why are you calling him little devil? He’s not yours, he’s Linda and Amenadiel’s”</p><p>Lucifer frowned “Why are you saying that?”</p><p>“You’re the devil, no? Your name – Lucifer. That’s what you’ve told me when we first met.”</p><p>“Yes. Right.” He laid his head against the pillow, silent for a moment.</p><p>“You want to sleep? You don’t eat dinner with us?”</p><p>“I’m not hungry and yes, I think I should sleep a little.”</p><p>“Ok then. Thanks Lucifer for talking with me!” She took back Akuma.</p><p>“You’re welcome little urchin.”</p><p>__________</p><p>They were finishing dinner when a scream startled them. Another nightmare Chloe thought. She and Linda stood up but Chloe beckoned her that she was taking care of this.</p><p>As usual after each nightmare, Lucifer seemed distressed. He said nothing – both knew what it was all about – and got up to go to the bathroom. He waved at the empty water bottle.</p><p>“Now I go pee every hour,” he complained.</p><p>Chloe laugh and watched him walk to the bathroom. He looked less dizzy she thought. It may annoy him but the water was effective.</p><p>“I’m fine, by the way. No need to stay here.”</p><p>How he hated feeling like this. So tired and listless. He, an immortal, one of the most powerful being in the universe, reduced to a helpless and useless existence. The pity look in his friends eyes. Trixie didn’t give him that look he thought. She seemed genuinely happy to see him no matter how he looked like.</p><p>When he came out of the bathroom, the girl was sitting on the bed.</p><p>“Chocolate cake’s time!” she claimed as she saw him. Amenadiel appeared in the door frame.</p><p>“Don’t even try to change this little lady’s mind. She asked me to bring you with us and you’ll have to comply.”</p><p>“I’m n...” he began but Trixie interrupted him.</p><p>“Don’t tell me you’re not hungry. There’s always room for chocolate cake.”</p><p>Lucifer looked down at himself, to Amenadiel’s sweatpants and t-shirt he was wearing, at his barefoot and sighed.</p><p>“You’re fine Luci. No one here will judge you for your look”</p><p>__________</p><p>The chocolate cake was delicious. Even if he didn’t feel hungry, he ate his portion with a surprising appetite. When everyone walked to the living room to chat, Lucifer stood up and Amenadiel went to help him.</p><p>“I can do this brother.” The chocolate cake had given him the boost he needed and for his self-esteem, he wanted to walk alone.</p><p>Lucifer sat beside Chloe and Trixie sat on the other side. Akuma jumped on the couch and he lay down between them. They spent the next hour in small talk. </p><p>
  <em>Hi Lucifer! I don’t know at what time you are going to bed but I want to wish you a good night. I’m so happy that you can hear me! I had faith that prayer could be heard but it’s so much fun to know that they are actually…</em>
</p><p>“Lucifer?” He came back to the conversation and realized everybody seemed to wait for his answer.</p><p>“Sorry, I was away.” He didn’t want to say out loud it was miss Lopez’s prayer, not knowing how to explain that fact to the little urchin.</p><p>“That’s fine, you must be tired. I think we should go anyway. It had been a long day.”</p><p>“Yes.” Before Chloe stood he leaned towards her and whispered: “Miss Lopez.” Chloe smiled.</p><p>__________</p><p> </p><p>Chloe and Trixie were gone since thirty minutes and Linda just finished to clean and filled the dishwasher.</p><p>“Where’s Akuma?” she asked. “We need to decide where he’s gonna sleep. I don’t want him in our bed.”</p><p>“Me neither.”</p><p>They searched for the dog but he was nowhere in sight. </p><p>“I hope he didn’t followed Chloe and Trixie.”</p><p>“Maybe he followed Lucifer. Did you notice he stayed beside him all evening?”</p><p>Linda lit his phone light and went quietly in Lucifer’s room. He was already asleep, curl up on his side. She got closer and smiled. Akuma was curl up against Lucifer’s chest, the little fur ball sleeping.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know that Lucifer is not afraid of dogs but he’s not fond of them either. I thought my story would be funnier as well.</p><p> <br/>Akuma means devil in Japanese and of course Lucifer knows it since he speaks all language.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Battle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Linda woke up with a strange feeling. Nothing disturbed her sleep last night. No crying Charlie, no screaming Lucifer. No sound. She looked at Amenadiel, still sleeping and then watched her phone 7:43 A.M. Okay. Time to worry now. Neither Charlie nor Lucifer had ever slept this long – except for the sleep induced by the whole bottle of pills of course. She dressed up quickly and rushed out of the room.</p>
<p>Charlie was still sleeping, breathing steadily. How much she loved this little angel, she thought. She quietly closed the nursery’s door and startled when she turned around. Lucifer was standing in the door frame of his room.</p>
<p>“Lucifer,” she said in a worried voice. “Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“I’m hungry.” He sounded astonished.</p>
<p>“That’s good! Very good! What would you like to eat? Eggs maybe?”</p>
<p>“Eggs are fine.”</p>
<p>He followed her in the kitchen, his pace slow but steady, Akuma at his heels.</p>
<p>“I didn’t hear you last night. No nightmares?”</p>
<p>“I’ve had some but not as scary as usual. Nothing I couldn’t handle.”</p>
<p>“That’s great, Lucifer!”</p>
<p>“Can’t say I feel great.” He sighed.</p>
<p>“Give you time.”</p>
<p>He sat at the table and the dog lay down at his feet. He reached to pet him and Akuma licked his fingers.</p>
<p>“Yuck!” he said, removing his hand quickly.</p>
<p>“What?” Linda asked, raising her head of the omelet she was cooking. </p>
<p>“This little devil licked me again. It’s a disgusting habit!”</p>
<p>Linda laughed and threw him a baby wet wipes package. </p>
<p>“Use this.”</p>
<p>“Can I keep it?” He asked while wiping his hand. “Who knows when he will do this again?”</p>
<p>“Sure!”</p>
<p>After breakfast, he sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. Akuma jumped beside him and lay down, his head on Lucifer’s thigh. These two had quickly bonded, Linda thought, Akuma thing status having become that of inseparable companion in less than a day. She wonders if Lucifer current mood and good sleep were because of the dog’s presence. She knew that many animals were able to feel human’s moods and maybe the dog just sensed that Lucifer needed some extra friendship but if it was more than that? She would have to talk to Amenadiel about that. Lucifer would not stay with them forever and how would he react then? And how Akuma would react?</p>
<p>Lucifer zapped from channel to channel for more than one hour. Ella had done her morning greetings earlier but now he was bored.</p>
<p> “Kiddo programs and boredom soaps,” he whined. “Linda, do you have my phone?”</p>
<p>“Yes, wait,” but the device she had put away was out of charge. She plugged it on a portable power bank and handed it to him.</p>
<p>“Do you think Chloe and Trixie could come here today to play Monopoly?”</p>
<p>“Yes of course! That’s a good idea!”</p>
<p>He waited for the phone to charge enough to turn it on and saw he had received some text messages. Ella, Maze and Dan. Dan had texted him? He checked the message. <em>Hi, they told me. I think we need to talk.</em> He checked the sent date and realized the text was from Monday. The day he had returned to Hell. So he knows the truth. </p>
<p>Maze first texts were to yell at him for not informing her of his return but the next ones seemed more concerned. The last, two days ago, was to tell him she was leaving town for few days to bounty hunting. Ella texts dated from Monday to Wednesday and were mostly <em>Where are you?</em> and <em>Please give some news!</em> He texted her: Good morning miss Lopez. Have a good day too!</p>
<p>He finally texted Chloe for the Monopoly invitation. Sure! She answered few minutes later. <em>Trixie is all excited! At what time? At the time you want.</em> He answered.<br/>
He put away the phone and went back to the television. Half an hour later, Linda noticed he was dozing.</p>
<p>“Lucifer, you should lay down a little before Chloe arrive.”</p>
<p>“Good idea,” he mumbled in a sleepy voice.</p>
<p>He pushed Akuma a few inches and lay down on his side, between the dog and the back of the couch. He pulled a cushion under his head and fell back asleep.</p>
<p>“That’s not what I meant,” Linda whispered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chloe and Trixie arrived one hour later. Linda told them to be quiet, Lucifer still asleep.</p>
<p>“How is he doing?” Chloe asked.</p>
<p>“Surprisingly well in fact. He had a good night and was hungry this morning.”</p>
<p>“I told you mom that a puppy and chocolate cake were perfect for him!”</p>
<p>“You may be right actually. Those two are stick together since this morning. Akuma even slept in Lucifer’s bed last night.” Linda waved at Lucifer sleeping with the puppy curled up against his chest.</p>
<p>“They are so cute like this!” Trixie said in awe. Her voice was too loud and Lucifer woke up.</p>
<p>“Sorry about that Lucifer!”</p>
<p>“That’s fine urchin. Time for Monopoly I guess.”</p>
<p>“Thank you for changing your mind!”</p>
<p>“Well, another time just came sooner than I expected.”</p>
<p>Chloe wondered what they were talking about. Probably something from their conversation last evening. Amenadiel joined and they played for the next two hours, not without some Charlie’s interruptions. Linda even taught Trixie how to change a diaper when an unpleasant smell filled the room in the middle of the game. The little girl did not seem disgusted – unlike Lucifer – and Linda said she would be a wonderful babysitter.</p>
<p>Amenadiel never played Monopoly before and Trixie tried to take advantage of it on several occasions but she ended up in bankruptcy anyway. Chloe won and everybody laugh at the childish pout Lucifer sent her.</p>
<p>It was the middle of the afternoon but no one had lunch yet and some stomachs gurgled. Linda offered nachos and the bowl replaced the game board on the table. Chloe was watching Lucifer eating nachos with appetite while teasing Trixie and she could not believe that his mood could have improved that much in less than a day. She knew it might not last long but it was so refreshing to see him like this.</p>
<p>When everybody stood up to sit more comfortably in the living room, Lucifer realize he was tired. It was the longest period he had spent out of bed in the last week and he had clearly not recovered all his energy yet.</p>
<p>“I’ll lie down a little if you don’t mind.”</p>
<p>“Sure!”</p>
<p>“Thank you for playing with us Lucifer!”</p>
<p>“Thank you for proposing it urchin.”</p>
<p>He greeted everyone and went to his room, Akuma on his heels.</p>
<p>“It will be hard when he’ll go back at the penthouse,” Chloe said. “Surprisingly, he’s fond of this dog.”</p>
<p>“Yes, we noticed and we’ll probably offer to adopt it if he wants to.”</p>
<p>Chloe tried to imagine the puppy jumping on his Italian leather couch, chewing his Louboutin or peeing on his grand piano legs. </p>
<p>“It’s not going to work.”</p>
<p>“Well, we’ll see when the time comes.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next morning, noticing that Lucifer was almost joyful, Linda tried to have a conversation with him.</p>
<p>“I’m fine doctor, don’t you see? The good old Lucifer is back! I think I might even sleep at the penthouse tonight.” He looked at Akuma at his feet. “Or maybe not, I’ll see.”</p>
<p>“Precisely, it’s a good time to talk about what really led you in that state in the first place. If you don’t find what triggered it, it might happen again. Did you forget that you were in a catatonic state less than a week ago?”</p>
<p>“I didn’t forget and I know what led me in that state. So, no need to worry doctor.”</p>
<p>“And what do you think led you in that state?”</p>
<p>“Well, Hell is hell so...”</p>
<p>“So? So what?”</p>
<p>“So nothing. It was just hell.”</p>
<p>“You see, that’s what I’m talking about. You don’t know. It was not your first time in Hell. You’ve spent eons there. Why this time was different?”</p>
<p>He looked at her without any answer to provide. </p>
<p>“You need to find why, Lucifer. I know it’s hard to think about this. It triggers emotion you’d rather bury deep down but you must do it.” She didn’t want to remember him that they didn’t found a permanent solution yet and that he might have to return there but she knew he was aware of that fact too.</p>
<p>“I will think about it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had been asleep for almost forty minutes when Akuma barked. In late morning, he had to lay down, tired once again. Even if he was feeling a lot better, his energy was still low. He opened his eyes, confused. Akuma barked again and jumped out of the bed. Maybe he just needed to go pee, Lucifer thought. The dog was still learning in that matter after all. He got out of bed slowly, trying to get rid of the remains of sleep. Akuma was waiting at the door, obviously impatient.</p>
<p>He heard the screams just before he opened the door. Something was definitely wrong. He got out of the room and froze. At his right, Linda stood at the end of the corridor holding Charlie, terrified. At his left, Amenadiel was standing in front of two men he was trying to prevent to go forward.</p>
<p>“Bloody hell! What’s going on here?” He was fully wake up now.</p>
<p>“They want Charlie.”</p>
<p>A third men appeared in Lucifer sight and he looked closer at them. They all had blood on their clothes and bullet holes in their chest. Demons. Of course! </p>
<p>“Brother, I thought Remiel was on the throne!”</p>
<p>“Not this time Luci. Things went a little fast when Michael and I tried to bring you back and we didn’t think about the throne.”</p>
<p>“And it’s just now that I know that!” He lost no time and took is full devil form.</p>
<p>“Go away!” He shouted in a hollow voice.</p>
<p>“You’re not our king anymore! We decided we want a new king and we won’t take any orders from you from now on.”</p>
<p>Dromos. He didn’t know who where the two others but he was pretty sure Dromos wouldn’t listen. He went forward and grabbed him by the neck.</p>
<p>“I. Said. Go. Home.” But his strength had not fully returned and Dromos was strong. He broke free and laughed. </p>
<p>“If it’s all you got!” </p>
<p>Without warning, he raised his leg and kicked him in the chest, throwing him ten feet away. Lucifer fell hard on his back, breathless. The demon beside Dromos took advantage of the opportunity and rushed in the corridor trying to reach baby Charlie. Hopefully, Amenadiel reacted promptly and stretched out his wings to stop him. He quickly bended them forward with such force that it created a windy whirl that threw the two demons backwards. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, Lucifer had stood up, furious. Adrenaline rushed though his veins, giving him the energy he needed. He walked to the third demon still standing and hit his skull with such force that everyone in the room heard it fracture. The body fell on the floor, lifeless.</p>
<p>And the real battle began. Two angels against two demons. Pushing, kicking, throwing, taking everything they could to strike, cut, break. Amenadiel finally managed to slit the second demon throat with his primary feathers, his body falling on the floor in a small puddle of blood. The only demon left was Dromos.</p>
<p>At least, that’s what they thought. While Amenadiel and Lucifer attention was all on Dromos, the first demon killed suddenly stood up and managed to reach the corridor were Linda and Charlie were still standing. Linda screamed, reached the back room intending to lock the door behind her even if she knew it was useless. A simple wood door couldn’t stop a demon. But Akuma didn’t follow. Linda called the dog but instead of listening, the puppy jumped at the demon’s leg and bite it. The demon grabbed the dog and threw it forcefully on the wall. Akuma whined and stayed motionless where he had landed.</p>
<p>Akuma intervention had given Lucifer enough time to reach the demon and he killed him for the second time within half an hour. He looked at Akuma, but he had no time to take care of the dog. He became even more furious than earlier if such a thing was possible.</p>
<p>“They keep coming brother! We have to stop that!”</p>
<p>“I know!” </p>
<p>Lucifer reached Dromos that Amenadiel was holding against the wall. He was unarmed but his fury was sufficient. He punched him relentlessly until the body was nothing more than a bloodied mass. </p>
<p>“He’s dead Luci, stop!”</p>
<p>Lucifer took two steps back and turned around to check if the two other demons were still dead. They were.</p>
<p>“I have to go back,” he whispered. “They will keep coming.”</p>
<p>But before he could leave, the little strength he had left vanished and he lost consciousness. Amenadiel called Linda and warned her he had to go to make sure no more demons were going to come back.</p>
<p>“As soon as I fixed all this I will be back.”</p>
<p>And he disappeared, leaving Linda alone with a crying baby, three dead bodies, an unconscious Lucifer and an injured puppy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. I'm not evil</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Linda stood in the middle of what was once her living room. No furniture had withstood the battle. An angels and demons fight was much more violent than any fight humans could provoke. Linda was trying to get his mind cleared when someone knocked at the door. Her first reaction was to go back hiding. She couldn’t do anything if more demons came. She then realized no demon would knock at the door. Before she could reach the entrance, the door opened and Trixie appeared.</p>
<p>“Hi Linda!” The little girl stopped, her Monopoly game under the arm. “What happened?” She looked surprised but not in shock.</p>
<p>She scanned the room trying to register what she was seeing. In the middle of all those scattered debris, three bodies were lying. She slowly went down the few steps of the entrance and pushed one of the corpses with her foot. </p>
<p>“Are they dead?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>And then, her gaze fell on a monstrous winged form crushed to the ground. </p>
<p>“Lucifer!” Trixie drop the game and ran towards him. “He’s not dead isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“How do you know that...? No, no he’s not dead.”</p>
<p>Linda thought Chloe never told her daughter who Lucifer really was but maybe she did after all. </p>
<p>“Where’s your mother?” She thought Chloe would follow.</p>
<p>“She’s working at home. She said she had a lot of work to catch.”</p>
<p>“You came alone?” Linda had a sudden thought. “Does she know you’re here?”</p>
<p>Trixie seemed shy for a moment. “I left a note.”</p>
<p>Linda took a deep breath. Charlie was still crying in her arms but his sobs were beginning to fade. </p>
<p>“Where’s Akuma?” Trixie asked suddenly.</p>
<p>Linda realized she was stalling and shook herself. </p>
<p>“Okay Trixie. I need your help. Can you check on Charlie and Lucifer? I need to bring Akuma to the vet.” </p>
<p>“Yes, no problem.”</p>
<p>Linda handed her Charlie and gave her few recommendations. She was about to let his little angel to a barely eleven years old girl but she knew it was the best solution and that Trixie could managed. Lucifer was still unconscious and she was worried about him too but she knew he would be fine since he was an immortal. </p>
<p>Linda took a bath towel and carefully wrapped Akuma in it. The puppy whined and looked at her with pitiful eyes. </p>
<p>“You’ll be fine boy.”</p>
<p>Once alone, Trixie make sure Charlie was calmed down and she put him in his crib. She returned to Lucifer and tried to reach him without stepping on his wings. She hesitated just one second before putting her hand on his head and started to stroke his uneven skin.</p>
<p>“Wake up Lucifer! Please, wake up!”</p>
<p>Lucifer’s eyes fluttered for a moment but he was unable to keep them open. He moaned, tried once again to open his eyes but the effort seemed too big for him. Okay, Trixie thought, he needed to drink something to give him energy. She stood up and went to the fridge. Milk, water, beer, juice, energy drink. Energy drink. That’s it! She took the Red Bull can and searched for a straw. </p>
<p>She returned to Lucifer but quickly realized his head was too low to allow him to drink. She slipped her bent knees under his head and put the straw in his mouth.</p>
<p>“C’mon Lucifer! You need to drink.”</p>
<p>Lucifer finally managed to take a few sips. He tried to lift himself up, but only ended up shaking. Trixie forced him to finish the drink. She stayed like this a moment, keep stroking him until he fully regained consciousness. </p>
<p>“Trixie,” he began in a hoarse voice but immediately stopped. This voice. His devil’s voice. He fully opened his eyes and realized with horror he was still in his full devil form. He quickly regained his human form and tried to look at Trixie.</p>
<p>“You are... not afraid?” He asked with disbelief.</p>
<p>“Why? You just looked like the pictures in mom’s book in Rome. It’s so cool you have wings!”</p>
<p>“When she told you?”</p>
<p>“She didn’t. You told me, silly! When we first met!”</p>
<p>“But...” He looked confused. “But no one ever believes me...”</p>
<p>“Why? You always tell the truth, no?”</p>
<p>In the nursery, Charlie started to cry. Trixie apologized, carefully placed Lucifer’s head on the ground and stood up. She went to take a pillow and the blanket on his bed and came back to set him comfortably. She then went to the nursery to take care of Charlie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Chloe arrived at Linda’s house she founded Trixie sitting on the floor beside Lucifer, rocking Charlie in her arms. Linda had called from the vet to inform her of the situation. Her daughter was alone with Charlie, Lucifer and three dead corpses and an adult needed to take care of this mess. She almost freaked out when she learned that Lucifer was still in his devil form when Trixie arrived and no, she never told her who he was.</p>
<p>Chloe decided not to call the police but only Dan and Ella. Both knew the real nature of Lucifer and it would be easier to explain the whole situation. While she waited for them, she makes sure Trixie and Lucifer were okay. She was impressed by the way her daughter handled the situation and even if she was angry at first that Trixie left without permission, it ended up to be a good move.</p>
<p>“We’ll need to talk about all this later.”</p>
<p>“I know mom, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Linda had told her what she had seen and heard and it was terrifying that the demons had come back so soon. Chloe tried to question Lucifer to see if he could tell her more but his answers were not really coherent so she gave up. </p>
<p>Dan arrived first and Chloe asked him to help put Lucifer in bed. Dan frowned, looked at Lucifer, unsure if he was ready to touch the Devil.</p>
<p>“Dan, he’s the same Lucifer even if you know now his real identity. He gave every bit of energy he had to save Charlie from demons. Now he needs to rest in a bed, not on the floor of a ruined living room.”</p>
<p>Dan looked at Trixie as to say, <em>keep quiet about that</em> but Chloe simply answered: “She knows.”</p>
<p>Reluctantly, Dan helped Lucifer to stand but it was a difficult task. Lucifer was taller than him and barely helped himself and Chloe had to help too. They finally managed to put him in bed after ten minutes of strenuous efforts.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong with him?” Dan asked once they closed the room door. “I mean, I’ve seen him fight in the past and I don’t see how these three thugs could have drained him like that.”</p>
<p>“He’s sick Dan. He had a hard time in Hell and...”</p>
<p>“What?! What do you mean in hell?”</p>
<p>“He’s the Devil. Hell is his kingdom. After what happened at the Mayan he had to return down there to prevent demons from spilling on Earth.”</p>
<p>“Why he came back then if it was still dangerous?”</p>
<p>“It’s a long story.” She sighed.</p>
<p>Ella arrived few minutes later. “Aw man! What happened here?”</p>
<p>Chloe explained everything and Ella began his work. Chloe sent Trixie in the nursery with Charlie so she wouldn’t have to attend all the forensics stuff. </p>
<p>All three of them had agreed to find some plausible explanation before calling the precinct. The Mayan’s multiple deaths six months ago had caused a lot of trouble and they didn’t want to go through that again. Lucifer and Amenadiel were not to be worried by these murders since after all, these men were already dead when they came here. They had to find the first cause of death, not the second. </p>
<p>When Ella had finished picking up the clues on the bodies, they called for a team to come and get them. Chloe took the lead and no questions were asked. Dan and Ella went outside to try finding evidence on where the three demons were killed in the first place. Or they had been killed nearby and came on foot, or they used some transportation, most likely a car. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, Chloe stayed inside, beginning to clean up debris while she was watching over Trixie Charlie and Lucifer. A scream startled her but it was a weak, an almost painful heartbreaking complaint. </p>
<p>Instead of sitting as he usually did after a nightmare, Lucifer was on his side, so curled up that he looked like a shaking ball. She sat beside him on the bed and started to gently rub circles on his back. She could find nothing to say to comfort him. They both knew how it would end, or rather where. They had tried to find a solution and had failed.</p>
<p>“How’s Akuma?” Lucifer asked after several minutes of silence.</p>
<p>“He’s gonna be fine. He have a broken leg and some contusions but nothing life threatening. He went under surgery and Linda is still there right now.”</p>
<p>“Okay, good. And did Amenadiel come back?”</p>
<p>“Not yet.”</p>
<p>He sighed and closed his eyes. Few moments later, Azrael appeared.</p>
<p>“What’s up... Wait! Are you okay?” Lucifer was still curled up in bed and for sure, he wasn’t looking okay. He didn’t answer her question but asked instead: “Can you go to Hell and check on Amenadiel? I would go myself but I’m not even sure I have the strength to fly right now.”</p>
<p>“Why Amenadiel is in Hell in the first place?”</p>
<p> “Rae-Rae!” Ella entered in the room all joyful as usual. She hugged her angel friend.</p>
<p>“Who’s Rae-Rae?” Dan asked. He then saw Ella hugged in mid-air, like if someone was really standing there but there was no one to be seen. “What the f...”</p>
<p>“Maybe I should show myself?” Azrael asked Lucifer.</p>
<p>“I think it’s better if we don’t want Miss Lopez mental health to be doubted.” </p>
<p>Ella turned her gaze to the bed. “Oh Lucifer! Are you okay?” She kneeled beside him.</p>
<p>“I’m just exhausted.” Ella nodded but she could see in his eyes it was more than just exhaustion. At the same time, Azrael showed herself to Dan so everyone in the room could see her.</p>
<p>“Who are you?”</p>
<p>“I’m Azrael. Lucifer’s sister.”</p>
<p>“How many of those siblings do you have?” Angels. They were angels Dan thought.</p>
<p>“A lot.”</p>
<p>Lucifer asked again at his sister if she could go check on Amenadiel. </p>
<p>“I want to know why he’s out there first.”</p>
<p>He explained what happened from the beginning. The story seemed to drain all energy he had regained in his nap and he was now trying hard to stay awake. As Azrael was about to answer, Dan suddenly got infuriated and exploded.</p>
<p>“All you’re able to do is wreak havoc and hurt all those who have the misfortune to get close to you, Lucifer! And worse, you then asked others to right the wrong you’ve done. You should have stayed in Hell. We don’t need evil here.”</p>
<p>“I’m not evil,” Lucifer mumbled in a sleepy voice, tears beading along his eyelashes. “I’m not...”</p>
<p>Chloe got up and walked on Dan, totally rabid. She didn’t want to yell at him in the room, Lucifer being already asleep, but she barely contained herself. Ella and Rae-Rae followed outside and closed the door.</p>
<p>“How dare you?!” Chloe started, using one of Lucifer’s favorite quotes. “How could you speak to him like that with all he have done for us, to protect us, despite the fact he was leaving behind the only place where he really felt home, his only friends in eons. And it’s not even counting the fact that he’s depressed and he needs our help.”</p>
<p>“The Devil is depressed! Are you kidding me? He’s just tired.”</p>
<p>“You should be the first one to understand that. You only lose Charlotte and had a hard time dealing with it. Imagine just one second if you had lost your home and everyone you cared about at the same time. If you had to return in a horrible place to do a job you despise, with demons and tortured souls as only company.”</p>
<p>Chloe was still furious but she let Dan go when she realized her last tirade had hit him hard. Charlotte Richards was still a sensitive subject. Ella looked at her friends and hugged them both without a word. They stay like this a little until another pair of arms joined and startled them.</p>
<p>“We’re all broke,” Linda said. “The only thing we can do from now on is to move forwards.”</p>
<p>“How long have you been here?”</p>
<p>“Long enough.”</p>
<p>“I think I will go.” Azrael said.</p>
<p>“Okay, bye Rae-Rae!”</p>
<p>“Rae-Rae? Who is Rae-Rae?” Linda asked, unable to see the angel.</p>
<p>“Azrael, one of Lucifer’s sister.”</p>
<p>“What?! The Angel of Death was here?”</p>
<p>“Azrael is the Angel of Death? How do you know that?”</p>
<p>“Lucifer told me a couple years ago.”</p>
<p>“So it means, she was probably there waiting for me.” Ella thought out loud. “I know that accident was bad but I never thought I was so close to die on that day. Oh man!”</p>
<p>Trixie got out of the nursery, Charlie in her arms. </p>
<p>“Linda! Where’s Akuma?”</p>
<p>“He will stay in observation for the night but don’t worry, he will be fine.”</p>
<p>Soon after, Ella leaved and Linda had a talk with Chloe and Dan to help settled things. They both apologized to each other and Dan knew he would have to apologize to Lucifer too, eventually. Chloe offered to Linda to stay for the night – Trixie could do camping on the floor – but Linda declined the invitation. She could take care of both Charlie and Lucifer and Chloe had to work on next morning. She had to be there to ensure that there wouldn’t be too many questions about the three bodies and to line the investigation in the right direction. </p>
<p>Lucifer woke up with a new nightmare in the beginning of the evening. When he realized either Amenadiel or Azrael came back, he tried to get up but Linda pushed him back in bed.</p>
<p>“I have to go check what’s going on. Time is much slower down there and they should been back long ago.”</p>
<p>“Oh no Lucifer! You’re not going anywhere.”</p>
<p>“You don’t understand! It’s my responsibility to...”</p>
<p>“I don’t care if it’s your responsibility, your punishment or whatever. You stay here, doctor orders.”</p>
<p>Lucifer frowned but said nothing.</p>
<p>“I want your word.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“I want your word that you won’t try to go back there before I gave you the authorisation.”</p>
<p>He looked at her almost horrified. <em>My word is my bond.</em> He knew that if he gave her his word, she could decide to refuse him to go, forever. He shivered and shook his head.</p>
<p>“I can’t do that.”</p>
<p>“I promise Lucifer that I won’t trick you. When I will be sure that you’re good enough to go back without getting in trouble again, I will let you go.”</p>
<p>He sighed. “Ok then, you have my word.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>When Amenadiel arrived in Hell, two demons were about to cross the threshold and he managed to hold them back. He crushed them together with such force that their bodies almost exploded. He didn’t want to be there, he hated that place and he was angry. And you don’t mess up with the strongest angel of the universe when he’s angry. </p>
<p>It took some time before he could establish his authority and for the demons to stop trying to cross. Demons were not very wise in general. When the calm returned, he settled in Lucifer’s throne and wait. And wait. Hell could be so boring. It seems he was there forever when Azrael showed up.</p>
<p>His sister told him Lucifer’s concern and her concern about Lucifer. They have to find a solution other that the <em>Lucifer returns</em> one.</p>
<p>“I can’t leave the place.” Amenadiel worried. “I’m afraid the demons will take advantage of the opportunity if I do.”</p>
<p>“So I will go find some help.”</p>
<p>Azrael leave towards the Silver City.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>__________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As every night Ella prayed. She first prayed at Lucifer, hoping he was not asleep and could hear her. Poor Lucifer, she thought. It was a shame that he was punished forever for something he had done eons ago. What kind of parent could do such a thing? Even most murderer had a chance to get redeem after their sentence. So what about that God is all forgiveness and redemption? If he was unable to forgive his own son, how can she believe all they say about Him? She suddenly got mad.</p>
<p>
  <em>Hey Big Guy! If You can hear me, I just want to say that you’re a jerk! Your son has suffered enough don’t You think so? And now all his friends are suffering because of that! Hello forgiveness and redemption! If You are not able to forgive your own son, how can I still believe in You? How can I still believe that You’re the one I should pray and follow?</em>
</p>
<p>She stopped, already mad at herself. She had no right to speak to God like that.</p>
<p>
  <em>Sorry Big Guy, I shouldn’t say that, but please help him. Help Lucifer! He really needs his dad right now!</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. A strange visitor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lucifer had a terrible night. He was exhausted but so tense by the lack of news from his siblings and the nightmares he would inevitably do when asleep that he almost didn’t sleep at all. He had asked Linda for sleep pills but with the fiasco of the last time, she said it was out of the question. He was in a horrible mood in the morning when Linda tried to speak to him.</p><p>“I want you to fix me, not make me worse!” Tears flowed down his cheeks but he didn’t care.</p><p>“I know it’s hard to talk about your emotions but you won’t heal if you don’t do it.”</p><p>He was about to answer when a gust of wind filled the room. He shifted his gaze from Linda to the corner of the room and suddenly looked ashamed. Linda turned around to see an angel standing there.</p><p>“Go away, Ramael! You have nothing to do here!”</p><p>“This is a private session.” Linda added. “You can’t land here without warning!”</p><p>“I wanted to see for myself.”</p><p>“You’re happy now? The Big Bad Devil looks pitiful enough for you?” Lucifer took a pillow and threw it to his brother who disappeared before it reaches the corner.</p><p>“End of session.”</p><p>“I will come back later.” Linda said quietly.</p><p>When she came back two hours later, it was with Akuma. He had a back leg in a cast but seemed in good shape otherwise. Lucifer was on his side, eyes closed but Linda was sure it was because he didn’t want to talk to her. His breath was too tense and quick to be asleep. She carefully put the puppy near his chest and Akuma immediately crawled toward him and licked his face. Lucifer opened his eyes in awe, not even disgusted by Akuma’s licking.</p><p>“Oh! You’re back!” The puppy licked him again and Lucifer smiled. “I will take good care of you little devil.”</p><p>“And I hope you will let me take care of the big one.”</p><p>__________</p><p>Azrael’s search for help in the Silver City was not going well. After his Fall, all of Lucifer sibling had turned their backs on him and for most of them, helping him was like going against their Father will. </p><p>Although Azrael tried to explain that Lucifer was depressed and unable to assume his role of King of Hell right now, no one seemed to understand the gravity of the situation. No angel understood what being in depression meant in the first place. Emotions were not the strong point of angels in general and for most of them, what was happening on Earth was in no way their concern. </p><p>Out of arguments, she invited them to go and see for themselves. She was not doing her work as the Angel of Death right now and she couldn’t lose more time in trying to convince her siblings. The only one to go was Ramael. He was recognized as a sage among his siblings and Azrael’s desperate quest was unusual enough that he sought to learn more. </p><p>Upon his return he seemed in shock. He still had trouble believing what he had seen, but the evidence was there. Something was wrong about Lucifer. He never saw him cried before, not even when their Father threw him out of Heaven. He decided to hold a meeting.</p><p>__________</p><p>Chloe had a lot of work today and she felt the day would be long. Before going to the precinct, she had called Linda with the intention of going to see Lucifer but the latter dissuaded her. He had hardly slept and just need to rest at the moment. </p><p>When she finally arrived at the precinct after leaving Trixie at school, she went directly to Ella lab. The young forensic was in the lab door frame, still, jaw ajar and staring at something behind Chloe. She turned around and only saw a tall black man with short grey hair who was leaving.</p><p>“Who is he?” Chloe asked once in front of Ella. She didn’t answer, keep staring where the man had disappeared.</p><p>“Ella, are you alright? What this man wanted?”</p><p>Ella shook herself. “He asked questions about Lucifer and you.”</p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>“I’m not sure.” The forensic looked in shock. Chloe put her arms on her shoulders and guided her to a chair. She stayed silent for a moment, like if she was treating some information.</p><p>“I think, I think it’s Him.”</p><p>“What him? Him who? I’m sorry I don’t get it Ella.”</p><p>“The Big Guy.”</p><p>“What? You mean God? What makes you think that?” </p><p>“Something He said just before leaving. He winked at me and said he’s not a jerk.”</p><p>“You called God a jerk?!”</p><p>“Well, I was angry and though it was so unfair for Lucifer to suffer all this for such a long time so I called Him a jerk but I apologized right after!”</p><p>“And because of that you think it might be God?”</p><p>“That and the strange questions he asked me and the fact that I wouldn’t answer at first but I thought finally I could say anything to that man. That was so weird! It was as if he knew everything about me.”</p><p>“And that would make sense if he’s God. Can you describe him to me? I will try to ask Lucifer tonight.”</p><p>“He’s tall, I would say maybe sixty, dark skin and grey hair. He could easily be Amenadiel’s father. And he looked nice too, well not the kind to punish his son for eternity. I really don’t know what to think.”</p><p>“Well stop think about it. I’m pretty sure we’ll know soon enough.”</p><p>They began to work on the mess caused at Linda’s with Dan. Yesterday, they had found a car parked nearby with blood all over the inside and they had just received the information about the owner. He was one of the three corpses founded and they now had to go to the given address to find new evidence.</p><p>They found nothing at the house but they had a new lead by interviewing neighbors. And from one lead to another, they finally founded the place the murders occurred. All three bodies were members of street gangs and it was now obvious – at least to Ella eyes – that it was a gang job, everyone killing each other. </p><p>Before leaving the precinct, Chloe called Linda to check if she could come by to see Lucifer and this time she agreed.</p><p>__________</p><p>Lucifer slept most of the day, Akuma curled up on his chest. When he was getting tense due to nightmares, the puppy pressed a paw or snout into his neck to calm him down. And it was working. Linda had no doubt now that Akuma really had a positive impact on Lucifer.</p><p>In mid-afternoon, when he finally woke up, he asked Linda to put Akuma on the pee pad, not thrusting himself to carry the puppy. When he came back from the bathroom, needing to keep a hand on the wall to keep his balance, he asked Linda why he was still feeling so tired and weak.</p><p>“Well, you didn’t eat since yesterday except for a shake but mostly, it’s an effect of depression. This state doesn’t only affect your mind but all your body. It’s chemical and the only way to get all your energy back is to cure your depression. And for that we need to talk.”</p><p>“Not today.” Lucifer grumbled.</p><p>Linda didn’t answered and put back Akuma in bed next to Lucifer.</p><p>When Chloe arrived in late afternoon, she was with Trixie. All the living room had been cleaned, Linda having called a specialized firm to do it, but it was now an empty room without any furniture. Amenadiel was still absent and Linda offered the two girls to stay for dinner.</p><p>“Nothing fancy. I think I will go for a mac and cheese.”</p><p>Trixie was eager to see Lucifer and the little girl didn’t ask for permission before entering his room.</p><p>“We are eating with you!” She said joyfully.</p><p>“I’m sorry but I don’t see how I will manage to go to the dining room without Amenadiel,” he said.</p><p>“That’s not a problem! We will come to eat in your room! I will come back when the dinner’s ready! Now mom wants to talk to you.” She didn’t give him time to answer and left.</p><p>Chloe sat beside him and began by asking some news on how he was. She then went on with what she had planned to ask him since this morning.</p><p>“I have a question that can look strange but I really would like to know.” She hesitated before continuing, knowing how sensitive this subject was to him.</p><p>“Go ahead Detective. Ask your question.”</p><p>“Well, what your father looks like?”</p><p>“Why do you want to know that?”</p><p>“I will tell you after. Please tell me.”</p><p>“I don’t know. I guess He could take the appearance he wants. He’s God after all.”</p><p>“What do you mean by you don’t know? He must have a regular appearance, no?”</p><p>“No. Not in the slightest. My parents are not physical Detective. My mother is pure light and when she came on Earth, she had to take the body of Charlotte Richards and my Father, well my Father is, just a voice for me I guess.”</p><p>“Just a voice?”</p><p>“A voice from above, yes. He’s Almighty but not physical.”</p><p>“You never saw your father? Never had a hug from him?”</p><p>“No. Why he had done such a thing?”</p><p>“Well, that’s what caring parents usually do.”</p><p>“So I guess my parents were not.”</p><p>They remained silent for a moment. His parents never hugged him, Chloe thought. That was explaining so much. She had to talk to Linda about this.</p><p>“Why do you want to know what my Father looks like?”</p><p>Chloe explained the visitor Ella had in the morning and everything the forensic had told her.</p><p>“Do you think that could be Him?”</p><p>“It’s possible since He can choose the appearance he wants. He doesn’t even need a dead body like my mother and I guess it would be logical for Him to look like Amenadiel since he’s his favorite son. But I really don’t know why He would come here. He never came on Earth before.”</p><p>“Well, Ella asked Him for help. Maybe He decided to do so.”</p><p>“It’s really unlikely Detective. My Father never helped anyone and it certainly won’t start with me.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Panic attack</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's a short chapter but it seemed right to end it there. I hope you'll like it!</p>
<p>Don't hesitate to leave comments! Thank you!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Amenadiel came back from Hell in the next morning. It was obvious that he was not returning from a fun party but he seemed happy to be back. And for once he had good news. Azrael and Ramael finally had managed to rally nine siblings to their cause and they had started to take turns on Hell’s throne. That means Lucifer could take the time to heal without worrying.</p>
<p>“I never thought it would work. Why they changed their mind?”</p>
<p>“Ramael persuaded them but I don’t know what made him change his mind. It’s Azrael who took care of everything while I was guarding Hell.”</p>
<p>“I’ll need to thank her back.”</p>
<p>“Yes but it will be later. She had a lot of work to catch up.”</p>
<p>Amenadiel went to take a long shower and spent the next hour cuddling Charlie. He couldn’t imagine what would have happened if the demons had bring him in Hell. How Lucifer had survived for millennia in that awful place? He wouldn’t stand a year!</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Ella was disappointed that she could not confirm her mysterious visitor’s identity. At the same time, she was horrified to learn that Lucifer had never seen his father. It was hard to imagine being raised that way. She decided that she would try to figure out who that man was no matter how much time it would take.</p>
<p>A new case came in and Chloe, Dan and Ella worked on it for the rest of the day. It was a really weird case and Chloe wished she could have Lucifer’s help right now. He seemed doing fine in the morning when she passed by but far from being ready to go back to work. </p>
<p>At the end of the day, she went to pick up Trixie and they stopped by Linda’s to say hello. She was so pleased to see that Amenadiel was back and that they had found a solution for more than a few weeks. What a relief!</p>
<p>Lucifer was in a good mood and they chat a little. Akuma was sleeping beside him. She talked about the new case and how strange it was. He seemed really intrigued and offered her some avenues to explore.</p>
<p>“I really missed you at work Lucifer. I hope you will be able to come back soon.”</p>
<p>“I missed work too Detective. I would go but I’m still feeling too weak to walk around the precinct and on crime scene. This house already seems big to me!” He laughed.</p>
<p>She laughed with him and put her head on his chest. He put his cheek on the top of her head, his arm in her back and began to rub her shoulder. After a moment, she raised her head to look him in the eyes. Those sad eyes so dark, so mysterious. Unable to wait any longer, she reached for his lips and kissed him tenderly. He responded to her kiss with a passion too long held back. It was their first intimate moment since his return and it felt so good, so right. </p>
<p>“I missed you so much Det– Chloe.”</p>
<p>“I love you Lucifer. I love you so much!”</p>
<p>They stayed like this for few minutes but when they parted, Lucifer was crying. </p>
<p>“Are you alright?” Chloe worried.</p>
<p>He nodded without answering and smiled but it was a sheepish smile and she knew something was wrong.</p>
<p>“Lucifer, you know you can tell me anything. Please tell me what’s wrong.”</p>
<p>“I... I don’t know.”</p>
<p>She looked at him and could say he really didn’t know what was wrong. He would need Linda once again. She rubbed his arm.</p>
<p>“Talk with Linda. She will help you find out.”</p>
<p>“I will.”</p>
<p>As soon as Chloe left, Lucifer asked Linda if he could talk to her.</p>
<p>“I don’t understand why I’m feeling like this just because she told me that she loved me.”</p>
<p>“You feel like what?”</p>
<p>“It’s hard to say. At first I felt happy and warmed but after that I... it felt like... I’ve been crushed... but from inside. It... it hurts.”</p>
<p>“Love is a strong feeling Lucifer. It can be so powerful that it’s almost painful sometimes.”</p>
<p>“No, it’s not that, it’s more... when I think of... of... No, I must not think about that.”</p>
<p>“Think about what Lucifer? Spit it out. Think about what?”</p>
<p>He shook his head, nervous.</p>
<p>“No, no, I don’t want to... I can’t.” His breathing suddenly accelerated and he stiffened against the pillow. He started sweating and shaking and put a hand on his chest while the other started flapping in mid-air. Akuma, who seemed asleep seconds ago, suddenly crawled toward him and put his head and a paw on his lap.</p>
<p>“Calm down Lucifer. Breathe slowly.” She took his flapping hand and held it tight. “You’re having a panic attack and need to slow down your breathing.”</p>
<p>With Akuma on one side and Linda on the other who kept trying to calm him down, he finally managed to put himself back together. </p>
<p>“Lucifer, listen. I know it’s hard to think about this but you must do it. Otherwise, this can happen again at any time.”</p>
<p>He looked at her, distressed and took a deep breath.</p>
<p>“It’s... it’s just that the more I... I love her, the harder it will be.” </p>
<p>“What will be harder?”</p>
<p>“When she’ll die.” He started sobbing, breathing hard again. </p>
<p>“Lucifer! You must not think about that! This might happen in fifty years.”</p>
<p>“Fifty years is nothing for me doctor. Just a blink. And I will never be able to see her again after.”</p>
<p>“Don’t say that! She will go to Heaven and...” She stopped abruptly, looking at him eyes wide open. </p>
<p>“You see?” He said bleakly, tears flowing down. “That’s the problem. I’m banned from there and I will never be able to see her again.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Back to work</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After what Lucifer had just told her, Linda was in shock. Why she had never thought of that before, she wondered. He was the Devil, the fallen angel banned from Heaven. All his friends on Earth would eventually die and he would never be able to see them again. Except her maybe, she thought bitterly.</p>
<p>Lucifer was crying quietly and she had no idea how to help him. Eternity was such an abstract concept for a human. He was alive since near the beginning of time and would be until the end. Of course fifty years meant nothing for him. <em>Just a blink</em> he had said. </p>
<p>How could she help him? The only way was to translate this into a more human problem. Being anxious about eternity for an immortal could in some way be compared to the human fear of dying. And that, she knew how to deal with it.</p>
<p>“Lucifer,” she started gently. “I might be able to help you after all.”</p>
<p>He looked at her with pitiful eyes while stroking Akuma’s fur.</p>
<p>“How could you? You can’t lift my Father’s curse.”</p>
<p>“No I can’t, you’re right, but I can help you dealing with the situation.”</p>
<p>“I’m <em>dealing</em> with the situation since millennia.”</p>
<p>“No, I mean, not your banishment situation but here on Earth. Dealing with the here and now.”</p>
<p>“But the here and now won’t change the ending.”</p>
<p>“No it won’t, just like humans who are afraid to die will die anyway. But I can nevertheless help them to have a better life here. Be happier. And I can do the same for you.”</p>
<p>He looked at her in disbelief. Hope seemed to make its way from the depths of his dark eyes.</p>
<p>“You really think it could work?”</p>
<p>“Of course I do. And you deserve to be happy Lucifer.”</p>
<p>He frowned. “I’m not sure I deserve it but I would like to try.”</p>
<p>“You deserve it and so much more.”</p>
<p>They talked for about fifty minutes before Amenadiel called them for dinner. </p>
<p>“You cooked, brother? Is it safe to eat?”</p>
<p>“Very funny but It’s not so hard to follow a recipe.” In another time, Amenadiel would have added something mean but now he was just happy to see his brother annoy him again.</p>
<p>Lucifer mood was better. The little spark of hope that Linda had sown gave him the feeling that maybe, maybe he could love Chloe without being afraid of the future.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>When Linda woke up on Wednesday morning, Lucifer was cooking an omelet.</p>
<p>“Lucifer! You’re up early!”</p>
<p>“Good morning doctor! I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up. Do you want some?”</p>
<p>“Good morning and yes, sure!”</p>
<p>“I made some coffee too.”</p>
<p>They sat at the table to eat and Linda had a strange feeling that she was Lucifer’s guest and not the opposite.</p>
<p>“I thought about it,” Lucifer started. “and I think I should go home. Maybe tonight or tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure? You can stay here as long as you want you know?”</p>
<p>“I know but I think it’s important for me. Of course I will come back from time to time for my sessions.”</p>
<p>“I want to see you daily Lucifer.”</p>
<p>“Daily?”</p>
<p>“Yes, at least until I’m sure you’re totally fine. You’re recovering surprisingly, I should even say incredibly fast but I know you can go down quickly too so daily sessions for you mister Devil.”</p>
<p>He laughed. “Ok then. Daily sessions.” He looked at Akuma at his feet. “I also thought about something else...”</p>
<p>Linda followed his gaze. “I’ve thought about that too and I’ve talked with Amenadiel. We know that Akuma had an incredible effect on you. I never thought you two could develop such a strong bond. So if you want to take him with you, it’s fine.”</p>
<p>“Well, thank you, but I thought about something slightly different. We could... share him.”</p>
<p>“Share him? It’s not a toy Lucifer.”</p>
<p>“I know, but we could do like Chloe and Dan do with the little urchin. You see, I’m eager to get back to work with the Detective but I don’t want him to stay alone all day but... but...” He suddenly seemed shy and looked at the table. “I’m afraid I might do nightmares again if I sleep without him.”</p>
<p>Linda put her hand on Lucifer’s arm and he stared back at her. “What’s between you two is not just a nightmare thing Lucifer. It’s way stronger than that and you don’t have to be shy about it. Yes, he helps you with your nightmares, I have no doubt about it, but it’s not only that. I can’t explain it, but you need each other. If you go home and leave him here, he will need a therapist too!” she laughed. “That being said, considering what you told me, I think it’s a good idea. You could let him here on your way to work and take him back after. Amenadiel and I would be his babysitter.”</p>
<p>“You don’t mind?” As each time someone was doing something for him without asking anything in return, he looked surprised. </p>
<p>“It will be a pleasure to <em>share</em> Akuma with you.”</p>
<p>As every morning, he received Miss Lopez’s prayer around eight. He smiled. She could have just texted him but receiving her greetings this way was surprisingly pleasant. She was the only one who had ever prayed to the Devil and would surely remain the only one to do so.</p>
<p>A little later, Chloe called to apologize she would not be able to stop by. Trixie had forgotten her lunch box at home and she had to go back to get it. She promised to come after work. Lucifer sighed. He had hope he could talk to her about a hint he had about her case. While reading the newspaper earlier he had realized that the victim was working for a man he had done a favor nine years earlier. He took his decision very quickly.</p>
<p>“Linda, I’ll go to my apartment to get dressed properly. I need to talk to Chloe about her case.”</p>
<p>“You want to go to the precinct? Are you sure you’re strong enough for that?”</p>
<p>“I will be fine, I won’t stay long.”</p>
<p>He knew that his energy level had not fully returned to normal but he felt good enough to go there for an hour or so.</p>
<p>“Okay, I’ll drive you there then.”</p>
<p>He smirked at her. “No need to. I have wings, remember?”</p>
<p>He would fly, of course. He’s going to be fine, Linda tried to reassure herself.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>It was so good to get dressed in a suit again. When he had arrived at the penthouse, he had realized that the flight had tired him more than he expected.  He would have to be careful out there. He sat down in his corvette and headed to the precinct.</p>
<p>“Detective!”</p>
<p>Chloe raised her head of her paperwork.</p>
<p>“Lucifer! What are you doing here?! You should be resting!” Even if her voice tone was saying she was angry, her eyes were saying she was glad to see him.</p>
<p>“I’m fine and I don’t intend to stay very long. I may be helpful for your case. That’s why I’m here.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I know the owner of the clinic where the victim was working and he owes me a favor.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, sure.” She rolled her eyes. How many people in this city owed him a favor?</p>
<p>“Chloe, I’ve got the results for...” Ella stopped, suddenly aware that Chloe was not alone. “Lucifer!” She hugged him enthusiastically. Lucifer almost lost his balance and had to hold on to the desk.</p>
<p>“Easy Miss Lopez. I’m not one hundred percent right now.”</p>
<p>“Oh, sorry Lucifer. I’m so happy to see you!”</p>
<p>“Me too Miss Lopez. I really appreciate your prayers by the way.”</p>
<p>“Oh man, I’m so happy you’re getting them.”</p>
<p>“Sure I am.” He smiled at her bashfully.</p>
<p>“Ella, you said you got the results.”</p>
<p>“Yes Chloe, you were right about your assumptions. It’s most likely one of his patients who killed him. We should ask for the list of all his patients in the last year.”</p>
<p>“I will ask for a warrant.”</p>
<p>“Maybe you don’t need it. I can be very persuasive.” Lucifer bragged “Shall we?”</p>
<p>“Shall we what?” Dan asked as he arrived.</p>
<p>“We are going to the clinic to ask for the list of the victim’s patients.”</p>
<p>“I’m going with you.” Dan decided. </p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>“Lucifer Morningstar! How can I help you my friend?” The owner of the clinic seemed genuinely happy to see him.</p>
<p>“The detective, here, need the list of Mr Robinson’s patients. We think it’s probably one of them who killed him.”</p>
<p>“I’m so sad for the guy. He was really trying to get on his feet after his divorce. I know he had screwed up some surgeries but I thought with the money I gave them that everything would be fine.”</p>
<p>The owner of the clinic went to the front desk and asked the secretary to print the list.</p>
<p>“You should focus from two months ago to five months ago. That’s the period where he drank a lot.”</p>
<p>“Thank you doctor.”</p>
<p>“Can I go back to the crime scene?” Ella asked. There’s one more thing I’d like to check.</p>
<p>“Sure.”</p>
<p>He led them to Mr Robinson office where the body had been found.</p>
<p>“So you said yesterday that the secretary didn’t saw anyone cross the front door from nine to noon except the two patients who had surgeries?”</p>
<p>“Exact but the killer could have entered through a back door.”</p>
<p>“A back door?”</p>
<p>“Yes, this is a very private installation and some of our patients don’t want to be seen in a plastic surgery clinic so we have two back doors for those cases. One of those is close to Mr Robinson office.”</p>
<p>“Why you didn’t say it yesterday?”</p>
<p>“You didn’t ask.”</p>
<p>The back doors were well dissimulated and it made sense that only someone who had use one of these doors knew the emplacement. Ella decided to review all evidences, helped by Chloe. Dan took Lucifer apart.</p>
<p>“Lucifer, I would like to talk to you,” he said in a low voice.</p>
<p>Lucifer frowned. “The last time you talked to me on a crime scene the Detective and Miss Lopez almost got killed.”</p>
<p>“I know and I’m really sorry about that. It won’t happen here, we’re not alone in the place.” He led Lucifer out by one of the back door. “I’ve been a total idiot and I want to apologize. I still find it hard to believe that you really are the Devil but they promised it was true.”</p>
<p>“It is. I never lie.”</p>
<p>“I am really sorry for everything I told you, I shouldn’t...” Dan’s attention suddenly been drawn to a tall man nearby. They were in a back alley with no way out. Nobody was supposed to be there. He drew his gun from his holster.</p>
<p>“Who are you? What are you doing here?”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to interrupt...” </p>
<p>That low voice. Lucifer returned and froze.</p>
<p>“Dad?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Near death experience</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***Warning!***  God think the only way the Devil can learn a lesson is the hard way. This is a long and very hard chapter. If you don’t like medical stuff, please read with caution.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was such a long fall. He thought he would never get to the end. When he finally reached the bottom he didn’t realized quickly enough there were spades all over. His wings tore under the impact.</p>
<p>When he woke up several hours later, the pain was so intense he almost lost consciousness again. He slowly managed to free his wings from the spikes he had impaled himself. The appendages looked awful. Their usual glowing had disappeared to leave only a dirty white stained with blood. The cartilages were broken in several places and they hung miserably.</p>
<p>He looked around, trying to perceive his new environment. Ash was falling in the dim light and covered everything in a grey dull blanket. He noticed at some distance many eyes glowing at him. Demons eyes. He shivered. He took a few steps toward them, his wings leaving a bloody trail behind him. They were useless at the moment. He couldn’t even get them back in. </p>
<p>It took several weeks before his wings began to heal. They became the main element of his Fall. He could no longer control them and he was hauling them as a reminder of his failure. How much he hated them. How much he hated Him. Once again he screamed at the sky knowing he would never get an answer. He screamed and screamed until his own voice woke him up.</p>
<p>He was sitting in bed, heart pounding, and it took a moment to realize he’s been woke up by his own scream. Why had he had this nightmare? It had been centuries since the last time. So why now? He looked around and noticed he was in the penthouse. What the hell he was doing there? He tried to remember the latest events before falling asleep.</p>
<p>The precinct and the case at the clinic. Talking with Dan in the alley. That voice. His voice. Now he remembered. The bastard! Once again he was trying to manipulate him. He had the nerve to tell him that he only wanted what was best for him. <em>What was best for him!</em> As if Hell could be the best. His phone started to buzz on the table. Chloe. He didn’t pick up but looked at the time: a little before noon. Perfect. He remembered now the hate he had and why and he knew what he had to do. </p>
<p>He arrived at Chloe’s apartment and began his search but of course Maze was gone with all her blades. He screamed and punched the wall in frustration, leaving a deep hole. </p>
<p>He unfurled his wing and began to pluck the feathers furiously, wincing from pain.</p>
<p>“It’s over Dad!” He screamed at the ceiling. “No more manipulation. You want the best for me? Here is the best I can give you!”</p>
<p>“Lucifer, what are you doing?!”</p>
<p>He turned around to face Maze. She looked in shock, staring at the feathers all over the floor, blood dripping from his injured wings.</p>
<p>“Didn’t know you were back. I need one of your Hell’s blades.”</p>
<p>“What for? To cut your wings again? No way!”</p>
<p>“It’s none of your business. They are mine!”</p>
<p>“It’s my blades so no.”</p>
<p>He didn’t answered and tried to reach the bag she had dropped at her arrival. She stopped him by putting a blade under his chin.</p>
<p>“I won’t let you do this.”</p>
<p>“Try.”</p>
<p>He took her wrist with one hand, crushing her fingers with the other almost to break them. She dropped the blade and he leaned quickly to grab it. However she was faster and hit him with a knee in the ribs. He felt the bone crack and the pain radiated his side. Furious, he dashed head first and hit her with all his weight. They both fall on the floor but this time Lucifer managed to take the blade before her. </p>
<p>He took few steps back, and before Maze could stand up he began to severe his left wing.</p>
<p>“No! Don’t!” Maze shout before getting up and rushing towards him. She tried to take back the blade but he was determined not to let her do it. He pointed the bloody blade towards her.</p>
<p>“Don’t try to stop me.” He was crying from pain and frustration. His left wing was hanging in his back at a weird angle, blood flowing from the wound.</p>
<p>While he was trying to reach his wing again, Maze looked around to find something to knock him out. Her eyes fell on the rolling pin. She grabbed it and hit Lucifer on the side of the head, sending him unconscious on the floor.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>When Chloe and Dan arrived at the apartment, Lucifer was still unconscious. Maze had called Linda first since she was a doctor but she was too far away to arrive quickly and she wasn’t able to reach Amenadiel so he couldn’t fly her. Not counting she had to find a babysitter for Charlie.</p>
<p>Feathers were scattered all over the room. Lucifer was lying on his back in a pool of blood. Maze had tried to roll him on his side but the position of the wing prevented her from doing so without injuring him even more.</p>
<p>“Oh boy!” Dan whispered. </p>
<p>It was the first time he was seeing the wings Ella had told him so much about. Even with several tufts of feathers torn off and covered in blood, they were gorgeous.</p>
<p>“You’re going to just stand there or help me?”</p>
<p>Dan shook himself and went beside her.</p>
<p>“Okay. Dan you will help me to lift him and Chloe you will try to put his wing back in place and tie it tight with the strips I’ve made.”</p>
<p>Chloe noticed the strips were made in her sheets but says nothing. It was the best solution. Maze and Dan managed to lift him enough to clear his wing from beneath him while Chloe started to push his wing back in place and wrap it. The wound was awful. The top of the wing and half the section in the center of his back had been cut with the blade but the other half had torn with his fall. The wing was now attached to his back only by the side near his shoulder.</p>
<p>“Oh Lucifer! Why have you done that?”</p>
<p>Dan had told her and Ella the altercation he had with his father and how infuriated he was but he was unable to say why he seemed so upset. He had took his corvette and leaved them without a word. Hopefully Dan and Ella had come with another car or they should have called for a transport.</p>
<p>It was impossible to be able to carry him in Chloe’s bed on the second floor so they take the mattress down into the living room. With tremendous efforts they put him on the mattress. He moans when they lie him down but didn’t wake up.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid you hit him too hard and caused a concussion.” Chloe told Maze. “I hope he will be fine.”</p>
<p>“I’m a lot more afraid for his wing. Blades forged in Hell create wounds that are hard to heal. Who knows if his wing will ever function normally again.”</p>
<p>“Then maybe it would be better to cut it. It will grow back, no?”</p>
<p>“Not necessarily. Angel’s self-actualization is still hard to understand but with his actual state of mind, I don’t think it would.”</p>
<p>Why? Chloe thought. Why would you want to cut those beautiful wings? What they meant for you? But she knew that even if she was asking those questions out loud, she would never get an answer.</p>
<p>“You can go back to work.” Maze said. “I will clean up and check on him.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry Maze but I can’t leave him like this. I’ll stay too. I know he would heal better if I’m not around but I want at least to stay until he wakes up. Dan, can you finish with the case and cover me for this afternoon and tomorrow if I don’t show up? And please take care of Trixie too.”</p>
<p>“No problem.” Dan still looked in shock but she was sure he could handle this.</p>
<p>Lucifer woke up one hour later but the pain was so intense he couldn’t focus or stay conscious long enough to talk. Each time he was shifting in his sleep, he moaned. In late afternoon, he talked for the first time.</p>
<p>“Detective?” He asked in an unsure voice. “What are you doing here?”</p>
<p>“You’re at my apartment, remember?”</p>
<p>“No.” He looked confused. “How I came here?”</p>
<p>“With the Corvette who’s still parked in front of the house.” Chloe could see he tried to remember but finally gave up.</p>
<p>“I’m thirsty.” He said after a long moment.</p>
<p>Maze went to fill a glass and both women helped him to lift enough to be able to drink. He held back a cry of pain and took few deep breaths before being able to drink.</p>
<p>“Mazikeen, you need to finish the job.”</p>
<p>“What?! No way!”</p>
<p>“It hurts a lot more like this.”</p>
<p>“You just had to think about it before doing it. Now, live with the consequences.”</p>
<p>“You’re the reason I didn’t finish!”</p>
<p>“Do you really think I would have let you? They are a part of you Lucifer! You can’t just decide to cut them!”</p>
<p>Lucifer sighed but said nothing. He would have to finish the job himself when he would have a chance. He finally felt back asleep soon after. A little more than one hour later, Chloe noticed Lucifer’s sleep was agitated. He was talking in his sleep but she wasn’t able to understand what he was saying. She was not even sure it was English. When it became clear that it was a nightmare, she decided to wake him up.</p>
<p>He was confused and took a few minutes before realizing he was awake. He looked terrified.</p>
<p>“You want to talk about it?”</p>
<p>He shook his head.</p>
<p>“You know it would help.”</p>
<p>It took ten minutes before he started to talk. Chloe was daydreaming when his voice startled her.</p>
<p>“It was my Fall.”</p>
<p>“Your fall?”</p>
<p>“From Heaven. The nightmare.”</p>
<p>“You relive it?”</p>
<p>He nodded and closed his eyes. She remained silent, hoping that he would continue.</p>
<p>“I... I impaled myself. Broke my wings. Took months to heal.”</p>
<p>His wings. Again. She did not approve what he had done and would never will, but she could understand the depth of the wound and what it meant for him. She lay beside him and put her head against his right shoulder. </p>
<p>When he fell asleep again, she rose up slowly. She asked Maze to follow her in Trixie’s room and told her about his nightmare. Maze remembered what happened when he had fall. She was young at the time and the fallen angel with his broken wings, screaming to the sky, had impressed her greatly. His Fall was not only a metaphor. He really did fall.</p>
<p>The evening and night been spent between nightmares, cursing, moaning and some sleep. In the middle of evening Chloe was about to asked Linda or Amenadiel to bring Akuma but she changed her mind, not wanting to disturb the little family. In the morning, she was regretting her decision. Lucifer was looking even worse than the day before and she had tried to sleep on the couch but his agitated night preventing her to do so.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry Decker but you’ll have to leave. He won’t get better if you stay around.”</p>
<p>“I don’t see how I could concentrate at work today.”</p>
<p>“Go at the penthouse. It will be empty.”</p>
<p>Chloe took her own car, leaving the Corvette in the alley. The place seemed so strange without him. She went into his bed and stayed there, unable to stop crying until she fell asleep. She woke up in the beginning of the afternoon and noticed she had miss many phone call and texts. She called Linda but Maze had already called her earlier so she decided to go at the precinct. Dan and Ella were worried too.</p>
<p>She was working with paperwork at her desk when she received a called from Maze. It was the middle of the afternoon.</p>
<p>“He’s asking for you.” Maze said. “Can you come?”</p>
<p>“Can I talk to him first? I have some papers I would like to finish here.”</p>
<p>“Not really. He’s more delirious than conscious but he kept saying your name.”</p>
<p>“What?! Why didn’t you called earlier then? I’m on my way.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>When Chloe arrived home Lucifer looked very bad. He was unconscious and breathing faster than usual. She kneeled beside him and could feel the heat irradiating from him body before even touching him.</p>
<p>“Maze! He had a fever! Why didn’t you called earlier.”</p>
<p>“He’s the King of Hell! How am I supposed to know this is not a normal temperature?”</p>
<p>Chloe went to get the digital thermometer and insert the device in his ear canal waiting impatiently for the beep signal. 104.9. That was bad. Really bad.</p>
<p>“Call Linda and tell her to come, now!”</p>
<p>“Why the panic Decker?”</p>
<p>“Don’t you see it’s serious? He probably has an infection and will need antibiotics. He could die if we do nothing and don’t tell me I just have to go away. I’ve been away all day and he’s worse than this morning!”</p>
<p>While Maze was calling Linda, Chloe went to the freezer and took out two ice packs and a bag of ice. She put the ice pack each side of his head and the bag on his chest. After a while he started shivering but Chloe didn’t remove the ice. Suddenly he began coughing and she realize with horror he was vomiting. She quickly turned him on his side, not caring about his wings or wound. He would choke if he stayed on his back. It last a few minutes and he then came back still. </p>
<p>“Maze! Bring me a wet towel to wash him, please.”</p>
<p>While she was waiting, she replaced the ice on his chest and put an ice pack on his back. The bandage there was smeared with blood and some viscous liquid and smelled bad. No doubt the wound had become infected.</p>
<p>Chloe was washing Lucifer when Linda arrived with Amenadiel.</p>
<p>“Where’s Charlie?” Maze asked.</p>
<p>“Babysitter.”</p>
<p>“His temperature was 104.9 when I arrived. I tried to put some ice but he will need more than that. And he just threw up.”</p>
<p>“Oh God! He needs to be hospitalized. It’s not just an infection. It’s a septicemia, maybe even sepsis.”</p>
<p>“Hospitalized?” Maze laugh. “And how do we explain the wings?”</p>
<p>“Can’t you just give him IV antibiotics?”</p>
<p>“No. Not only we can’t buy those in the local pharmacy but if it goes to the septic shock, he will need more than that.”</p>
<p>They looked at each other.</p>
<p>“I may have an idea.” Chloe said. She grabbed her phone and called Dan.</p>
<p>“Can you find me the phone number and name of the owner of the clinic we met this morning very quickly?”</p>
<p>“Sure, why?”</p>
<p>“I’ll explain later.” She heard him fumbled through papers and few seconds later, he gave her the information. She hung up and called the number Dan just gave her.</p>
<p>“Mr Jones? Chloe Decker. We met this morning. You remember the favor you owed Lucifer Morningstar? Well, he needs his redeem, now.”</p>
<p>She explained the situation, not mentioning of the wings but about something surprising they would explain upon arrival. He would prepare everything and was waiting for them.</p>
<p>Now, how to get there? It was rush hour and the clinic was on the other side of the city. Not counting of the wings that were not designed to fit in a car. Amenadiel was the only solution.</p>
<p>“We have to wrap his wings and tie them on his body. If they got caught in the wind they can interfere with my flight and the injured one could be completely torn away.”</p>
<p>They took a sheet and wrapped him in it, fixing the ending with duct tape. He looked like a wide mummy but at least, he would be safe. Chloe gave the address of the clinic and show Amenadiel where it was on a map. He would have to explain the wings stuff but he would improvise once there. Since Chloe had to be there too in order to allow IV injection, Amenadiel would have to do two round trips. Linda and Maze would take Chloe’s car to go.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>The duo arrived at the clinic an hour later. Amenadiel had been sent to a private waiting room while Chloe was in surgery room with the team.</p>
<p>“He’s still in surgery.” He said.</p>
<p>“How Mr Jones reacted for the wings?” Linda asked.</p>
<p>“Surprisingly well actually. He was waiting outside in the back alley so he saw me coming. I think he must have seen a lot of strange things in his career. He promised that his entire team would remain very discreet. He seemed a lot more worried about Lucifer’s state than his wings.”</p>
<p>“What did he said?”</p>
<p>“Nothing, but his face said it all.”</p>
<p>They sat in the waiting room, the more and more worried as time goes by. </p>
<p>“Why is it taking so long?” Maze asked, pacing in the room since more than one hour. </p>
<p>“Maze, sit down please or go outside take a walk and we’ll call you.”</p>
<p>As Maze was going to go out, Mr Jones entered but Chloe was not with him. She had probably stayed with Lucifer.</p>
<p>“How is he?”</p>
<p>“He’s stable for now, but please, have a seat.”</p>
<p>Maze sat, even more worried at the mention to sit.</p>
<p>“So, we manage to remove all infected and damage tissues from the wound, put a drain and suture the whole thing. Our concern is more on his general state. We put him on broad-spectrum antibiotics while waiting for the results of the lab but he had a septic shock during the surgery.” The doctor took a short pause, biting his lower lip. “Also, he has an acute respiratory distress syndrome and we had to intubate him. His kidneys are not going well either and he might need dialysis. We almost lose him in there and I must be honest, his survival chances are not more than fifty percent.”</p>
<p>They were all in shock. Except for Linda, all this medical details didn’t mean much to them but the <em>not more than fifty percent</em> did.</p>
<p>“How is Chloe?” Linda asked.</p>
<p>“She’s holding up. I don’t understand this vulnerability thing by the way. Someone will have to explain this later.”</p>
<p>This remark relaxed the atmosphere a little. The fact that Chloe made him vulnerable seemed more puzzling to him than the wings. </p>
<p>“Can we see him?”</p>
<p>“As soon as he gets out of the recovery room.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Chloe was sitting beside Lucifer’s bed in the recovery room, still dressed the way they equipped her before entering the surgery room. She was not supposed to be there but they seemed to have accepted the fact she had to follow if they wanted to be able to work on him. It had been so frightful out there when all the machines had started beeping.</p>
<p>She looked at Lucifer, deadly pale, wings hanging on each side of the bed. They had wrapped his left arm across his chest while the right one was cover in IV tubes. There were tubes, fluid bags and machines everywhere. Machines that kept him alive. The soft hissing of the ventilator was at the same time reassuring and frightening. To see his devil intubated, unable to breathe by himself was distressful. How did they get to this point? If she had stayed by his side rather than going away as Maze suggested, perhaps he would not be in such a critical situation at this time.</p>
<p>While she was looking at him, she noticed his eyes fluttering. They didn’t stay opened for long but it was certainly a sign that he was waking up. Few seconds later, a machine started beeping furiously. What was happening?</p>
<p>The nurse on the other side of Lucifer’s bed pressed a button and another nurse and a doctor arrived moments after.  They asked her to get out but she just recoiled in the corner of the room, unable to leave him. She could see them injecting more drugs in the IV tubes and adjusting the ventilator. Another machine alarm went on and Chloe realized in horror that it was the heart rate monitor. One more doctors entered the room with a crash cart while a nurse was cutting the bandage that was maintaining Lucifer’s left arm on his chest.</p>
<p>For her eyes unaccustomed to this kind of situation, it was chaos. When everybody recoiled from the bed and she saw one of the doctors waiting for the defibrillator to charge, paddles in hands, she thought she would need it too. No! It can’t be! She would have wanted to shout.</p>
<p>And they shocked him. Once, twice, too many times to count. Just when they seemed to have given up, a man suddenly appeared in the room, out of nowhere. In fact, he didn’t appear. He was just there like if he was at that place since the beginning. Chloe immediately recognized the man Ella had described. He made his way between the doctors to Lucifer’s bed, put his hand on his chest and the heart monitor beep went back to normal rate. </p>
<p>“You healed him?” Chloe heard herself asking.</p>
<p>“No. Just start his heart back. He has put himself in this situation he must bear it until the end.”</p>
<p>He went to the opposite corner from Chloe and sat in the chair that was there.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?” A doctor asked. “Who are you?”</p>
<p>“You might need me again and I’m Lucifer’s father.”</p>
<p>“What?! You will just stay there waiting for him to die while you could heal him?” Chloe shouted. “Lucifer was right! You’re a bastard!”</p>
<p>“Stubborn children only learn the hard way. If I heal him now, he won’t learn.”</p>
<p>“Don’t you think he suffered enough? You hate him that much?”</p>
<p>“I love him more than you could ever imagine.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Lucifer’s eyes fluttered, trying to focus. The room was so bright. Too bright. He let his eyes shot for a moment. He was feeling very strange like if his body were not his. He felt a dull pain all over and was hearing hissing and beeping but everything seems far away. This was not him. He was a spectator. From afar, a shrill beeping was heard. The pain was going away. He was floating. Light enveloped him. <em>Floating? Light?</em> What was going on?</p>
<p>He knew he was dying. It was not his first experience in that matter, but this time was different. Why he was floating and not going down? Where were the ashes? The darkness? Azrael was there, guiding him. She was crying and smiling at the same time. Why he would need Azrael to go back to Hell? And then he saw it. This was definitely <em>not</em> Hell.</p>
<p>Before he could reach it, he was pulled back and the pain returned all of a sudden. Beeping. Hissing. Voices. He thought he heard Chloe’s and Dad’s voices. Dad was there? He tried to focus but the pain was too intense. After what it seemed like an eternity, the pain eased and he was floating again. <em>What the Hell?</em></p>
<p>Once again, he saw it, got closer, but it stayed out of reach. And he was pull back again. The pain again. Each time seemed worst than the previous. And the merry-go-round resumed a third time. Stop playing with me like this, he thought. It was exhausting. </p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Chloe was crying, watching God resurrect his son for the third time. They had placed him minutes before on dialysis, his kidneys having failed. How the bastard could say that he loved his son while he let that happen? But she was unable to say the question out loud. Since the last ten minutes, she was sitting on the floor, her arms around her folded knees, watching the doctors and nurses trying to keep alive the love of her life.</p>
<p>“He will be fine now.” The statement startled her and she looked at God but he already had vanished.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Back to life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***Same warning as the precedent chapter!***  This is another hard chapter. If you don’t like medical stuff, please read with caution.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lucifer woke up but immediately wished he had not. How could he feel so bad?  He was feeling dumb but that didn’t stop the pain throughout his body.  He shivered, half from fear and half from the cold. He was frozen. He felt like if someone was sending cold blood through his veins. He opened his eyes and noticed he was in a hospital room. What the hell was he doing in a hospital? The head of his bed was at a 45-degree angle so he had a good view over the room. He was covered with wires and tubes and many machines were hissing and beeping beside him. Must be another nightmare, he thought.</p><p>“Welcome back to the land of the living Mr Morningstar.”</p><p>He began to turn to see who had spoken but a bolt of pain ran through his left shoulder blade, stopping him. For a moment black dots danced before his eyes. He was definitely awake. He leaned his head against the pillow, trying to catch his breath. But something was wrong. Even if he was trying really hard, the air didn’t seem to get into his lung. He swallowed only to realize that a tube was passing through his throat and mouth. He turned his head slowly following the tube and see it was plugged into a ventilator. He could see the machine was working and feel the air in his lungs but it was not enough. He felt like he was drowning. What was going on? Panic rushed through him. The machine started beeping and a nurse went around the bed to make some adjustments.</p><p>“Feeling a little better?” She asked.</p><p>He tried to answer but of course the tube didn’t allow him. He shook his head a desperate look in his eyes. No, he was not feeling better. The nurse went away for a few seconds and came back with a syringe and injected something in one of the IV tubes. Moments later Lucifer was back asleep.</p><p>Voices woke him up. He tried not to move to not trigger another bolt of pain. He was still frozen to death. Still felt like if he was drowning.</p><p>“Sorry, I was in surgery. You made me call?” the doctor asked.</p><p>“Yes. He woke up earlier but I had to give him a sedative. The air flow isn’t enough when he’s awake and in pain. Should I increase the air flow or the morphine? Both are already pretty much at the limit.”</p><p>“Let me see the doses.”</p><p>“We might consider a tracheotomy.”</p><p>“Let’s try if we can do without it for the moment. I will need to talk to him about it first.”</p><p>The doctor gave the nurse his instruction but when he turned around, he realized Lucifer was awake.</p><p>“Lucifer! Good to see you back!”</p><p>Lucifer nodded as greeting. So he was in David Jones’s clinic? With his right hand he made the sign he want to write. The nurse found him a pad and a pen and Lucifer started to write.</p><p>
  <em>“I’m frozen”</em>
</p><p>“Oh yeah, sorry about that.” He went to take a blanket in a closet and put it over the one he already have. “It’s because of the dialysis. The blood is a little colder when re-injected after purification that’s why.” They should use this device in Hell, Lucifer thought.</p><p>
  <em>“What trakeo” </em>
</p><p>“You heard?”</p><p>Lucifer nodded and added a question mark to the pad.</p><p>“It’s when we pass the ventilation tube through your neck rather than the mouth,” he simplified. “We make an incision and...”</p><p>
  <em>“Better?”</em>
</p><p>“Yes, even if it’s more invasive and we use it in last resort or long lasting ventilation.”</p><p>
  <em>“Me?”</em>
</p><p>“We will try to raise a little your morphine and air flow first. But we may end up there anyway. I will meet you and Chloe tomorrow about that.”</p><p>
  <em>“I’m drowning. Want it”</em>
</p><p>“We can take time to talk about this. It’s not an emergency and it implied a lot.”</p><p>
  <em>“I want it. Please”</em>
</p><p>“Are you sure? I’d prefer explain you everything before.”</p><p>
  <em>“Drowning. Sure”</em>
</p><p>“Okay. I will find a spot for tomorrow morning.”</p><p><em>“No. Now. Please”</em> And he circled ‘drowning’. He let his hand down and closed his eyes, exhausted from writing a few lines. That was ridiculous. He just wanted air. </p><p>“Let me check one thing.” Mr Jones took his phone and sent a text. Seconds later he received the answer. “Fine. I have an anesthetist available but we will do it here. It will be easier with the dialysis. Do we need to get Chloe?”</p><p>
  <em>“She near?”</em>
</p><p>“Yes. In the waiting room next door.”</p><p>
  <em>“Close enough”</em>
</p><p>__________</p><p>After God had disappeared, a nurse had gently led Chloe in the waiting room. When they saw her, they all thought the worse had happened. </p><p>She shook her head. “No, he’s alive.” And she started to cry again. Linda went to comfort her.</p><p>The nurse took the time to explain them the whole situation.</p><p>“You should go eat dinner and come back after,” she suggested. “He needs to rest right now.”</p><p>“No I can’t leave,” Chloe protested. I need to stay close.</p><p>“Go buy some take out and bring it back here then. Nobody else will use this room tonight anyway.”</p><p>They decided to call Ella and Dan for the dinner. They ought to know. Dan brought Trixie at Linda’s place so Charlie’s babysitter would be able to check on them both. They brought sushi for everyone. Chloe explained Ella and Dan the whole story, helped by Maze for the first part.</p><p>“The Big Guy was really there?” Ella asked.</p><p>“Yes but he’s a jerk.” Chloe told them what he had said and done or rather – not done. “I can’t believe he just sat there watching him suffering. He’s heartless.”</p><p>“You know what I think,” Ella said. “God is the very first one so He never had a dad to show him how to love and educate his children. That’s why He’s like that. When I talked to him on Monday, He really seemed to care about Lucifer.”</p><p>“Well He has a curious way of showing it.”</p><p>They chat while eating trying to talk of normal things but every now and then, Lucifer’s name was pronounced.</p><p>“It’s long.” Maze complained. “You sure he was fine?”</p><p>“Well he didn’t look fine but God said he would be so I guess we can believe him.”</p><p>“You believed this son of a b...”</p><p>“Easy Maze. Lucifer died three times. He may even sleep until tomorrow.”</p><p>It was finally almost ten when the doctor came back.</p><p>“He’s awake and would like to see you all. But I will allow it only for a few minutes. Also he won’t be able to talk because of the tracheostomy but we gave him a pad and a pencil.”</p><p>“Tracheostomy?” Linda said. “You talked about intubation earlier.”</p><p>“Yes but he asked for it.”</p><p>“He asked for?” She looked confused. “How could he ask for that?”</p><p>“He heard me and the nurse talked about it while we thought he was asleep. He said he felt like he was drowning and he beg me to do it tonight. I must admit it was a good move because he looks a lot better now than two hours ago. Anyway we should have done it later this week so now it’s done.”</p><p>“Is it so bad?”</p><p>The doctor looked at them and took a deep breath. “I won’t lie to you. Yes it is. He has severe lung damages, kidney failure, died – literally died – three times, so yes it’s bad. But I believe in his father – who would be God if I understood correctly – who said that he will be fine. The only real good news is that the antibiotics seem to be effective.”</p><p>“You really believe him when he says he’s God?” Dan asked.</p><p>“After seeing Him put his hand on Lucifer’s chest and started his heart back while shocking him countless times right before gave no results? And not just once but three times? Yes, I believe Him.”</p><p>__________</p><p>The head of the bed had been put upright and Lucifer was sitting with pillows on his back. He was pale and looked tired but smiled at them when they entered the room. It was one of his sad puppy smile and they all had to hold back their tears when they saw him. He was wrapped in a blanket up to the chin, still frozen from the dialysis still going on but his right arm – covered in IV tubes – was out, holding a large pad on his lap. It was a good thing he was wrapped like this Linda taught. This way the tracheostomy was not visible and it was less heartbreaking. </p><p>His wings hung each side of the bed. There were still spot with missing feathers all over where he plucked them but all wounds had been clean.</p><p>“Hey Lucifer! It’s good to see you!” Chloe started, getting closer. The others followed and they circled the bed. Lucifer made a little wave sign with his hand as a greeting and did his puppy smile again.</p><p>“The doctor was right. You look better.”</p><p><em>“Feel better”</em> He wrote. <em>“Thanks for coming”</em></p><p>“What? Do you think we would let you alone in this?” Maze shouted.</p><p>Lucifer shrugged his shoulders but the movement seemed to trigger a lot of pain and he had to leaned his head back on the pillows and closed his eyes the time it past. After two long minutes the heart rate monitor went back to normal and he reopened his eyes. No one had spoken the whole time.</p><p><em>“Sorry”</em> He wrote shakily.</p><p>“Don’t be silly Lucifer,” Linda said softly. “You don’t have to be sorry to be in pain.”</p><p>“I think we should let you rest Luci. I’m glad I’ve been able to see you. I will come back.”</p><p>Everybody greeted him and left the room but Lucifer held Chloe’s hand not letting her go. Once they were alone he grabbed back the pad and started to write.</p><p>
  <em>“Why I’m here? Why I didn’t healed by myself?”</em>
</p><p>“I don’t know Lucifer. After you did that, I stayed with you until the next morning but then I left for almost the whole day! You should have had time to heal or at least started to, but your condition worsened instead. Linda thinks that maybe the bacteria had time to get in your circulatory system before I leave and that it was already too late then. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. Only mine”</em>
</p><p>“Promise me you’ll never try to cut your wings again.”</p><p>
  <em>“I won’t. Hurt too much”</em>
</p><p>“Promise.”</p><p>
  <em>“I promise”</em>
</p><p>“And you won’t ask someone else to do it for you either.”</p><p>He circled the last words and closed his eyes. Her kiss startled him but he replied tenderly. </p><p>“Finally the tracheotomy was a good idea,” she said when they parted. “No tube in the way.”</p><p><em>“Best decision I’ve ever made”</em> He smiled.</p><p>“Can I take a look?”</p><p>He pulled on the blanket to clear his neck but kept it on his chest. The air tube from the ventilator was fixed to a tube coming out from the base of the neck. A white strap was fixed to little wings on each side of the tube maintaining it in place.</p><p>“Does it hurt?”</p><p>
  <em>“No”</em>
</p><p>“Your silly British accent is going to miss me.”</p><p>
  <em>“Maybe not. Will try speaking valve next week”</em>
</p><p>“Really? That’s great!”</p><p>He smiled again but looked really tired.</p><p>“I will let you sleep. I will come tomorrow morning.”</p><p>
  <em>“No need. Go to work. Come back after. I won’t move”</em>
</p><p>She laughed. “Are you sure?”</p><p>He nodded.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Day one</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***Same warning as precedent chapters but if you’ve come that far I suppose you will be alright!*** </p>
<p>The text in italic is sometimes writing and sometimes thought. I hope it’s not too confusing!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Good morning Mr Morningstar!”</p>
<p>The nurse was changing one of the fluid bags above his head. Lucifer made a little wave sign and tempted a smile. He was feeling totally out of focus this morning.</p>
<p>“You had very bad dreams last night and we had to keep you sedate most of the night. How are you feeling?”</p>
<p><em>“Numb”</em> He wrote.</p>
<p>“Still the effects of the sedative. How’s the pain?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Not too bad”</em>
</p>
<p>“I will do some aspiration and come back later with Doctor Jones to change the inner cannula.”</p>
<p>He was not too sure about the meaning of all this but in less than twelve hours he already knew he hates aspiration. Not only they were stopping ventilation to do it but it feels like they want to remove all the air in his lungs. They had to do it several time since he had the tracheotomy and hopefully it was lasting only a few seconds each time. They said they would not have to do it as often eventually. He hoped it was true.</p>
<p>“Are you ready?” He nodded even if he would have preferred to say no. He ends up coughing – a very unusual and unpleasant feeling for someone who never been sick before – and it took a few seconds to feel like breathing normal again. If he could call normal to depend on a machine to breathe.</p>
<p>“Day number one of your new life!” David Jones declared when he showed up one hour later.</p>
<p><em>“New life?”</em> Lucifer wrote.</p>
<p>“Well, you died yesterday so yes, we can say it’s a new life. How do you feel?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Not too bad”</em>
</p>
<p>“Fine. So as Samantha told you earlier, we will change the inner cannula this morning.”</p>
<p>They bring the bedside table and begin to put stuff on it. While they were preparing the material he began to explain what they would do. Lucifer was not sure to understand everything but it seemed that it was something they had to do.</p>
<p>They started to clean around the tube in his neck and under the face plate. “Ok, now I will stop the ventilation and remove the tube. You will miss a few breaths.”</p>
<p>He started the aspiration like usual but instead of putting back on the ventilation right after, they took another device and made more aspiration in his mouth.</p>
<p>“Okay now I will deflate the cuff and remove the inner cannula.” </p>
<p>And then, they suctioned again. <em>But when this was going to stop!</em> Lucifer coughed and tried to take a breath but the air seemed unable to find a way through his lungs. He couldn’t see what they were doing but all he was thinking was <em>put the ventilation back on.</em> They finally put a new cannula, clip it on and put back the ventilation tube. All the procedure didn’t take so long but when you are barely able to take a breath alone, it looks like an eternity. He closed his eyes, savoring the air that filled his lungs again. </p>
<p>“Are you alright?”</p>
<p>He nodded mechanically. <em>Don’t ever do that again,</em> he thought.</p>
<p>“So we will do this procedure every morning from now on or more often if you have too much secretion.”</p>
<p>What? Bloody Hell!</p>
<p><em>“Every morning?”</em> He wrote.</p>
<p>“Yes. I know it’s unpleasant but once a day is really the minimum.”</p>
<p>And he thought the tracheotomy was a good idea. Well, he must admit he was breathing a lot better and did not regret it but to say this procedure was unpleasant was an understatement.</p>
<p>“Are you sure you’re alright?” He asked again.</p>
<p><em>“Would be more alright if I knew exactly what was going to happen before you do it.”</em> He wrote angrily.</p>
<p>“But I explained it!”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes, while you were doing it. Didn’t know it would last that long.”</em>
</p>
<p>“It barely took fifteen seconds.” He objected.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Seems eternity when you can’t breathe” </em>
</p>
<p>“I’m sorry Lucifer. I didn’t realize I didn’t give you all details before. We were not supposed to do this yesterday but you asked for it.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“I know and still glad you done it. Just wish I knew”</em>
</p>
<p>“I will make sure you’re well informed next time.”</p>
<p>Lucifer nodded.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m thirsty”</em>
</p>
<p>“Okay. How’s swallowing? Show me.”</p>
<p>Lucifer swallowed. <em>“A little weird but ok I think”</em></p>
<p>“It’s normal that the feeling is different. The trachea move up and down when you swallow and now there’s a tube in it. You’ll get use to it don’t worry. Let’s make a try for drinking. I’ll deflate the cuff of the cannula it will helps you.” The doctor put the head of the bed straight. “Drink slowly with small sip. It can be tricky at first.”</p>
<p>The nurse handed him a glass with a straw with less than an inch of water in it. Lucifer looked at it with an amused expression. He took a first small sip, than a second and finally emptied it in no time.</p>
<p>“You’re good. Maybe we will be able to start eating sooner than expected.” He inflated the cuff back. “For now, I need to take a look at your wound, check the sutures and for infection. Okay?”</p>
<p>Lucifer nodded.</p>
<p>“You need to stay seated but I will lower the head of the bed to have a better look. Samantha will help you.”</p>
<p>The nurse untied the cord of the hospital gown and cut the bandage holding in place Lucifer’s left forearm that went down on his lap. The movement triggered the pain in his back and he brought his forearm back tight against his chest holding it with his right arm. The doctor started to press on the skin around the suture and check the drain he had put in the wound to evacuate infected fluid that might remained inside. </p>
<p>At each pressure, Lucifer flinched. He was trying to keep countenance but if he had been able to, he would have scream for sure. The doctor realized it and stopped his movement. He asked the nurse to slightly increase the morphine.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you but I need to check if there’s still infection in your wound.”</p>
<p>The additional morphine doing his effect, he resumed the examination. The nurse helped him to do a new bandage and they settle Lucifer back in bed.</p>
<p>“Your wound is healing well. The infection seems under control. Now we will try to keep this pain under control too.”</p>
<p>Lucifer took the pad. <em>“Hard day one”</em></p>
<p>“Yes I agree. Sorry again about that. We will let you sleep now.” </p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Lucifer slept for almost two hours. When he woke up he was alone in the room, but not for long. His Father was standing beside the bed.</p>
<p>“What the Hell are you doing here?” The only good thing about talking with his father was that he didn’t need to write is answers. He just sent it like a prayer.</p>
<p>“I need to talk to you.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Not me.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Then just listen. I know you’re wondering why you are not healing and I have the answer and a proposition.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“And there you go manipulation!”</em>
</p>
<p>“It’s not manipulation.” As Lucifer was staying silent, God continue. “You need to know that from now on, your body will remain mortal like any human being. No matter if you’re close or away from Chloe, the situation will remain the same. You will of course keep all your celestial attributes but your body will no longer benefit immortality.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Don’t care.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Maybe no one told you yet, but if you don’t get back your immortality, you’ll never be able to breathe by yourself again. Permanent damage. Not counting your kidney failure and your pain.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Son of a bitch. You’re only playing so that I have no other choice than accept your proposition? Your deal?” </em>
</p>
<p>“I’m the son of no one. You put yourself in this situation and you’re also the one who decide what you will do next. I only propose. I only want your happiness.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“My happiness? You want my happiness by letting me lying in bed and plugged to a machine for the rest of my ‘mortal’ life? What happiness is this?”</em>
</p>
<p>“It’s not the only way.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“So? What tricky proposition did you thought about?”</em>
</p>
<p>“You will get back your immortality under two conditions. First, you have to forgive yourself. Stop hurting yourself, stop feeling responsible for everything except for the things you’re really responsible for – like your current situation.”</p>
<p>Lucifer was suddenly interested. That could be possible. That was what Linda was trying to help him with for years. It might take some time but he could do this.</p>
<p>
  <em>“And what’s the second?”</em>
</p>
<p>“Forgive me.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“What? Do you have the slightest idea how much I suffered because of You? What kind of life I had? Kicked out from home, denied from my family, vilified by humanity, left alone in a pit of despair with demons as only company? It’s impossible Dad. You can’t ask me that. I should be the one asking for your forgiveness!”</em>
</p>
<p>“That’s the second condition. When you’ll be ready, we’ll talk.” And God vanished.</p>
<p>Furious, Lucifer took the writing pad beside him and threw it against the wall in front of him. The side of the pad embedded in the wall and it stay there. If his body was now mortal, his strength was obviously still celestial.</p>
<p>Few seconds later, Doctor Jones arrived in the room.</p>
<p>“What happened?”</p>
<p>Lucifer pointed at the pad stuck in the wall in front of him. David went to get it and give it back to Lucifer.</p>
<p>“It takes an incredible force to do that! Who was there?”</p>
<p><em>“Dad”</em> Lucifer didn’t specify that he throw the pad in the wall.</p>
<p>“God?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes. Who else?”</em>
</p>
<p>“Yes sure, sorry. All this is still a little new to me.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“I have a question. When you talked earlier about day number one, you were not really talking about my coming back from death don’t you?”</em>
</p>
<p>“What makes you think that?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Something my Dad said. You were talking about the tracheostomy, right?”</em>
</p>
<p>“What did He told you?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“It doesn’t matter.  Please, be honest. The damage to my lung, is it permanent? Is there a chance I could go back to normal again?”</em>
</p>
<p>“Back to normal, no, except with lungs transplant. Now between normal and your current status, there’s a world.”</p>
<p><em>“Other than transplant could I get rid of the ventilator eventually?”</em> He knew lungs transplant was not a possibility. He would not be compatible with human’s lungs and no angel could go under surgery if he was not vulnerable like he was. Furthermore, he would never accept to live with one of his sibling’s part inside him.</p>
<p>“Well, we still have tests to do and we’ll be more...”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Tests that will only confirm what you already know I figure. Get rid of it? Yes or No?”</em>
</p>
<p>“Honestly?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes.”</em>
</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Okay. Thank you for your honesty.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Lucifer, if you want to talk about this...”</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m fine”</em>
</p>
<p>But David Jones could see Lucifer was not fine. It was written all over his face. How could you be fine when you just learned that you will spend the rest of your life under life support?</p>
<p>That was certainly not the way he had planned to tell him the bad news. But he couldn’t lie to him. Not on something so important. Not when he just asked him to be honest. All the tests they had done yesterday evening were clear. Sepsis had destroyed most of his lungs and it was irreversible.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>It was almost lunch time when Chloe received the call. When she saw who was calling, she thought something had happened and freaked out. David Jones reassured her but asked if she could come. He had to talk to her. She grabbed some sandwiches in the vending machine, informed Dan that she would be out for the afternoon and leave.</p>
<p>On her way to the clinic, Chloe couldn’t stop to elaborate theories on why he needed to talk to her. What news he couldn’t say on the phone? What couldn’t wait until the evening? </p>
<p>It was nothing she had thought of. It was of course a bad news, but she still had hope Lucifer’s immortality was going to take over at some point. Lucifer was asleep when she came in the room so she sat beside the bed and watched him sleep.</p>
<p>Even in this hospital bed surrounded by medical equipment, she couldn’t help herself but find him highly attractive. She gently took his free hand and held it in hers. The room temperature was high but his hand was cold. </p>
<p>Suddenly, he seemed to choke. His eyes opened wide with terror and the ventilator alarm went on. Chloe stood up in panic, not knowing what to do. She intended to go get someone when a nurse arrived. The latter put the ventilator on hold and started to suction the tube in his neck. </p>
<p>“Everything will be fine Mr Morningstar. It’s just a small mucus plug and I’ll remove it in no time.”</p>
<p>Lucifer seemed terrified, the heart rate monitor indicating a pulse over 130 and that kept going up. The nurse finally managed to clear the tube and started the ventilator back on.</p>
<p>“Here we go.”</p>
<p>She put her stethoscope on his chest and listened to his lungs.</p>
<p>“All clear!”</p>
<p>Lucifer closed his eyes wandering how many times this kind of thing would happen in the next days, weeks or years. He shivered. He felt a warm hand on his cheek and opened his eyes. Chloe was there. He smiled at her and wondered if she saw what just happened. At the look in her eyes he was pretty sure that yes. He grabbed the pad and started to write.</p>
<p>
  <em>“What time is it?”</em>
</p>
<p>She checked her phone. “Almost one.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“You don’t work?”</em>
</p>
<p>“I was, but Mr Jones called me.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Why?”</em>
</p>
<p>“Well, he told me.” She felt silent. She didn’t want to ask him how he was doing anyway he would probably had said he was fine. “Your immortality can cure this, no?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“No. Not immortal anymore”</em>
</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Father told me. I keep celestial attributes but body mortal now, Won’t heal”</em>
</p>
<p>“But why?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“He wants my happiness”</em>
</p>
<p>“What? He can’t have said that!”</p>
<p>
  <em>“He did”</em>
</p>
<p>“Okay. I must have missed a part. What you didn’t tell me?”</p>
<p>Lucifer looked away but didn’t answer.</p>
<p>“Lucifer, look at me. What are you hiding me?”</p>
<p><em>“Nothing important. Please forget that”</em> He kept his gaze on the pad. He didn’t want her to know the proposition He made him. He didn’t want her to push him to forgive his Father or keep faith that one day he would overcome this. He would never because he had no intention to forgive Him.</p>
<p>Chloe knew it was no use to push him. He just needed support right now. Even more knowing his immortality would never heal him. The reality struck her all of a sudden. He would never heal. Doctor Jones had said he would stay under mechanical ventilation for the rest of his life.</p>
<p>“Listen to me Lucifer. We’re going to face this together. It may be difficult, but we’re going to make it. I love you and I won’t let you down. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever!”</p>
<p>He looked at her and wrote shakily. <em>“You won’t?”</em></p>
<p>“Of course not! How could I? I love you! I feel incomplete without you! Don’t think you’ll get rid of me so easily!”</p>
<p><em>“Don’t want to get rid of you.”</em> He was a lot more afraid of the opposite but didn’t write it.</p>
<p>She put her cheek against his, her face in the pillow. She felt the wet tears on her cheek but was unable to say if it was his or hers. She could feel he was sobbing silently and she wondered if his tears were from relief or fear at what awaited him. </p>
<p>Lucifer managed to move slightly to the left side to make room for her in bed. She lowered the bedside, slipped under the ventilator tube and perfusions and leaned against his right wing. They both felt asleep.</p>
<p>“Mr Morningstar. You need to wake up. Your saturation is getting low and I need to do aspiration to clear your lungs.”</p>
<p>Chloe looked at the nurse bent over them. She didn’t know how much time they’ve slept.</p>
<p>“You can stay there, no problem.”</p>
<p>The nurse began aspiration and Chloe could feel the suction through Lucifer’s shoulder. She didn’t want to know how it feels for him. </p>
<p>“I want to learn how to do this,” she said. “To be able to help in situation like this.”</p>
<p>“Sure you will. You’ll have a meeting for this probably next week.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>“You have a visitor by the way.”</p>
<p>The nurse waved at Linda who was standing at the door step, Akuma in her arms. She had called the clinic earlier to ask if she could bring the dog. At first they said it was a bad idea but when she explained the effect this dog had on him, they allowed it.</p>
<p>“Linda! What a nice surprise!” Chloe said. She untangled from the tubes and slipped out of the bed.</p>
<p>The look on Lucifer’s face when he saw Akuma says it all. He tapped on the bed where Chloe was seconds before and Linda put the dog beside him carefully. Lucifer began to stroke Akuma’s fur with a dazzled look. He went to talk to him but of course no sound came out. How frustrating it must have been. Hard to write to a dog. But Lucifer didn’t look frustrated. Just truly happy. Chloe decided it was the right time to talk to Linda about what she learned earlier. They would both need her help. She guided her to the door.</p>
<p>“We will let you two alone a little. We’ll come back in a few.” Lucifer didn’t react, too absorbed by the puppy.</p>
<p>“Oh my God! How he’s taking it?” Linda whispered.</p>
<p>“I really don’t know. He’s not talking and avoiding questions as usual. I know something happened between him and his father but he didn’t want to talk about it.”</p>
<p>“It might take a little while before he realize all the meaning of this. When you receive a bad news like that, the first reaction is usually the choc quickly followed by denial and we both know how Lucifer is good at it.”</p>
<p>When they came back in the room, Lucifer was back to sleep, his hand still on Akuma. The dog had put his head on Lucifer thigh and seemed asleep too.</p>
<p>“He’s sleeping a lot.”</p>
<p>“That’s what he must do right now. Sepsis is extremely hard on the system and sleep is the best cure.”</p>
<p>Chloe and Linda chatted quietly in the room waiting for Lucifer’s awakening. For once, no choking or saturation drop awakened him. No nightmare either. </p>
<p>Chloe realized it was already five p.m. when Ella texted her. <em>“How is he doing? Can I come?”</em> Chloe answered that he was sleeping and maybe it would be better to wait tomorrow. She knew Amenadiel wanted to come too in the evening and as Linda had said he needed to rest. <em>“OK then. Please tell him that I called and that I will come tomorrow morning.” “No problem.”</em> Chloe replied.</p>
<p>When Lucifer finally woke up he seemed surprised to see Linda. He was so focalized on Akuma when she came in that his mind didn’t register that she was there.</p>
<p>“What? Do you think Akuma flied to you?” </p>
<p>Lucifer burst out laughing and both women looked at each other without understanding. It was strange to see him laugh like this without a sound. He finally shook his head and get back to serious.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Sorry. Was imaging Akuma with wings”</em>
</p>
<p>Both women smiled. Or it has been a really good nap, or the painkillers were really strong. Maybe a little of both.</p>
<p>They chatted for a while – even if Lucifer mostly listened only writing occasionally – until Linda told them she had to go back on Charlie. If he wants she could let Akuma with him and Amenadiel would bring him back later.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Of course I want”</em>
</p>
<p>Half an hour later Amenadiel was there. He seemed a little uncomfortable and Chloe asked herself if Linda had had time to tell him or if it was just the whole medical situation. After all, Amenadiel wasn’t more used to hospitals than Lucifer was. He stayed barely fifteen minutes, Lucifer not initiating conversation and his brother seeming awkward, almost embarrassed. Lucifer stroked Akuma one last time and let Amenadiel take it back before leaving.</p>
<p>He now looked tired. Chloe was about to leave when the doctor and the nurse came in. The look on Lucifer’s face when they talked about changing his cannula stopped her. She had no idea what they were going to do but it was obvious Lucifer does. And he seemed terrorized. She saw him wrote <em>“Thought it was once a day”</em> but Doctor Jones answered he had a lot of secretion today and it was better to do it again. Chloe asked if she could stay and they agreed, saying that she should eventually have to learn to do it anyway.</p>
<p>They asked her if she was sneezing or coughing – in the case she would have to wear a mask – and asked to wash her hands. Lucifer seemed to need comfort right now so she went at the head of the bed and started playing in his curls.</p>
<p>The nurse stopped the ventilation and they both started to work quickly around his neck. After aspiration, Lucifer started to cough and desperately struggled to take a breath but that remains a vain attempt.  Chloe realize in horror that the ventilator was not helping him breathe, it was breathing <em>for</em> him. He was not even able to take a single breath alone. It was worst than she thought. No wonder why he looked terrified.</p>
<p>Once they finished Chloe finally stayed fifteen more minutes before leaving. When she arrived in her apartment, she couldn’t help herself and began to cry.</p>
<p>“Hey Decker! What’s the cry for? What he did this time?”</p>
<p>Between her sobs, Chloe told her what she learned earlier. Maze face went pale and she started swearing and cursing.</p>
<p>“I’m sure he would be happy to see you. He needs all his friends right now.”</p>
<p>“Not sure he considered me as one of his friends but yes I will try to go tomorrow.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Doctor Jones was setting Lucifer for the dialysis.</p>
<p>“Because of the sepsis and other complications, we prefer to do it five times a day in long night session. Your body will tolerate it better.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Will it be forever?”</em>
</p>
<p>“Probably not. When all bacteria from the sepsis will be eliminated from your system there’s a good chance the medication will be effective enough to stop dialysis. It might take some time, though.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Good news of the day”</em>
</p>
<p>Doctor Jones laughed. “Do you feel cold?”</p>
<p>Lucifer frowned and looked at the machine that was already working.</p>
<p>
  <em>“No. How so?”</em>
</p>
<p>“Well yesterday you still had some fever but it’s down now.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Great”</em>
</p>
<p>“I know it’s been a hard day but you will get better soon enough.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Except breathing”</em>
</p>
<p>“It’s the hard part, yes, but even for that you should be able to have some amelioration in the future. It’s not a degenerative state. You’re currently at your worst and just very lucky to be alive.”</p>
<p>Luck have nothing to do with it Lucifer thought.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was Saturday and Chloe had decided that she would be at the clinic first thing in the morning so she would be there to comfort Lucifer during the cannula change. For her it was not a big deal. It was a very medical thing but not disgusting, no blood or nothing of the sort. But for him it was.</p>
<p>When she woke up she had an idea and wanted to try it. While the nurse was preparing all equipment – she was alone this morning, Chloe went near Lucifer’s head like yesterday. She could feel he was tense and she started playing in his curls.</p>
<p>“I had an idea. We will try to make some visualisation to ease your stress.” He gave her a query look. “You remembered the beach where you like to go when you feel lost? Close your eyes and visualise you walking on that beach.”</p>
<p>Samantha gave her an approval look and she started the procedure.</p>
<p>“See the waves break on the shore. Feel their power.” Lucifer coughed, opened his eyes and started to stiffen. “You’re doing great Lucifer. Stay with me on the beach.” She was talking slowly, calmly. “Hear the roar of these huge waves. See their beautiful blue-green color. Smell the sea salt and algae.”<br/>
</p>
<p>“All set!”</p>
<p>Chloe smiled. “So? How it was?”</p>
<p>Lucifer opened his eyes and looked at both women smiling at him and realized it was done. He smiled in return.</p>
<p><em>“Took less time”</em> he wrote.</p>
<p>“No. Same as yesterday but your girlfriend’s idea worked great!”</p>
<p>Girlfriend. Lucifer looked at Chloe to see her reaction at the mention and saw she was still smiling at him with such love in her eyes. How could she still love him in these conditions? Did she not see that he would only be a burden for her now?</p>
<p>“I love you,” she whispered in his ear. She had notice the uncertainty on his face. The fear that she might not love him anymore. The fact that he couldn’t talk was curiously very helpful to help her understanding his feelings. He was not trying to find some loophole to pretend everything was fine. The truth was just there, lying on his face.</p>
<p>“We’re gonna face this together. Please, stop worrying. I won’t let you down I promise.”</p>
<p>Lucifer make her some space in the bed and she lay down beside him as she had done the day before. They stayed like this, cuddling without a word and thoughts wandering, until Doctor Jones arrived.</p>
<p>He was accompanied by a huge male nurse, even taller than Lucifer and probably weighing around three hundred pounds. The man was looking at Lucifer’s wings in awe but didn’t say anything.</p>
<p>“This is John Thompson,” introduce him David Jones. “He will help you toileting and eventually going around. You can figure why I choose him.” He made an up and down gesture. “And by the way he’s deaf mute but highly effective.”</p>
<p>Lucifer lifted his right hand and makes a little sign with it. John smiled and done the same.</p>
<p>“I didn’t know you knew signed language, Lucifer. That’s great!” Doctor Jones said. Of course he knows sign language, Chloe thought. Like any others.</p>
<p>“I will check at your wound and after John will take care of you. Chloe it would be better if you left us alone if you don’t mind.”</p>
<p>“Yes of course.”</p>
<p>Ella arrived while Chloe was waiting outside. She was holding a flower bouquet and a vase.</p>
<p>“How is he?”</p>
<p>“Considering the news he learned yesterday I would say good but Linda said he’s probably in denial right now and will fully understand all of this later.”</p>
<p>“What news?”</p>
<p>Once again, Chloe told what Doctor Jones explained her. She felt like the bad news’s teller.</p>
<p>“The worst is that this is happening at a time where things were beginning to settle for him. Like if God wants him to live Hell on Earth.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think God have something to do with this.”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t be so sure. Lucifer met Him yesterday and he seemed really upset about it.”</p>
<p>“Why He would do such a thing? You can’t deliberately want that your son suffer like this.”</p>
<p>“That’s the big question.”</p>
<p>Doctor Jones joined them. “John will finish toileting and you will be able to see him but he might be a little sleepy. We had to increase morphine for the examination. His wound still causes him a lot of pain.”</p>
<p>Ella tried not to react when she saw the tube in his neck for the first time. She felt heartbroken. Poor Lucifer! It was so unfair! Chloe took the vase and flowers to put them on a shelf.</p>
<p>“Hey man! How’r you doing?”</p>
<p>Lucifer made a thumb up.</p>
<p><em>“Thank you for the daily prayers”</em> he wrote.</p>
<p>“It’s a pleasure, Lucifer! I won’t be able to come every day so at least I feel like I’m a little with you. But I should be able to come every weekend.”</p>
<p>Lucifer smiled but he didn’t want to think about every weekend yet. Didn’t want to think about the future.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry for all this!” She continued. “I’m gonna miss you at work. It won’t be the same without you.”</p>
<p>Ella realized too late she shouldn’t say that. Lucifer’s face suddenly turned pale and he closed his eyes. Tears pearled at the corner of his eyes.</p>
<p>“Sorry, oh I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to...”</p>
<p><em>“That’s OK Miss Lopez.”</em> He wrote. <em>“It’s not you, it’s me”</em> He leaned back his head on the pillow looking at the ceiling.</p>
<p><em>“Old bastard!”</em> He shouted mentally to his Father. <em>“Why? WHY are you doing this to me? Why take away everything I love? Haven’t I been punished enough so far?”</em></p>
<p>Tears were now bathing his cheeks. He seemed infuriated and desperate at the same time and Chloe suspected he was screaming at his father. After a while where no one spoke, Lucifer took back the pad.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Please pray for me Miss Lopez”</em>
</p>
<p>Ella froze. He didn’t write pray <em>to</em> me but pay <em>for</em> me. “Oh Lucifer! Sure I will!”</p>
<p>Lucifer put the pad aside and let his head leaned back in the pillows. He closed his eyes, his last strengths vanishing.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>They were in an empty waiting room, Ella crying uncontrollably. Chloe was trying to comfort her, hugging her and rubbing her back but the young forensic tech was inconsolable.</p>
<p>“I hurt him! Oh my God! I hurt him so much! Why I said that?”</p>
<p>“Maybe it’s not such a bad thing.”</p>
<p>“What? How can you say that? Did you see his face? He asked to pray for him. The Devil asked me to pray for him! Can you imagine how much I hurt him to justify he asked that?”</p>
<p>“I don’t say he’s not hurt Ella but he was in denial and one day or another, he will have to face reality. Maybe it’s better sooner than later. You only told the plain truth. Even I didn’t process all this yet. It’s a lot to take in. Really a lot. Everything happened so fast. He was at work only three days ago.”</p>
<p>Her phone buzzed and she checked who texted. Linda. What a perfect timing. <em>“Can you come now with Akuma?”</em>  She texted her. <em>“Now?” “Yes. ASAP”</em></p>
<p>Less than ten minutes later, Amenadiel was there with Linda and Akuma. Flight was so much faster than drive. Ella had stopped crying but when Linda asked what happened, she started again.</p>
<p>“Oh Linda! I should never have told him that! I hurt him!”</p>
<p>Linda gave Akuma to Amenadiel and hugged her. “Said what?”</p>
<p>“That he will miss me at work. He seemed devastated. I’m so sorry!”</p>
<p>“Ella, listen to me. Yes, you hurt him but I think it’s the best thing you could have done.”</p>
<p>“What?! But... but...”</p>
<p>“Lucifer is... well is Lucifer. It will be a drama for few hours and in a few days it will be like it never happened. But he will have grown in it. He will learn to accept his situation little by little. One loss at a time. The only thing he must not lose is his friends.”</p>
<p>“But I hurt him! He will be mad at me now!”</p>
<p>“No he won’t.” Chloe said. “I’ve done worst. I betray him, I lied to him but I’m still there.”</p>
<p>“But it’s not the same thing! He loves you!”</p>
<p>“Ella, you don’t ever imagine how much Lucifer appreciates you. He won’t be mad at you.”</p>
<p>Ella finally calmed down hoping Linda and Chloe were right. She decided to return home. She would pray to him and for him.</p>
<p>Linda took back Akuma and went to Lucifer’s room. He was still sleeping but she put the puppy in bed beside him and returned in the waiting room. Amenadiel said he had some things to do to and told Linda to call her when she would be ready to leave.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong with him?” Chloe asked once he was gone. “Yesterday he seemed very uneasy and he didn’t even talked about seeing him today.”</p>
<p>“He’s uneasy and he don’t accept Lucifer’s current situation. At all. He told me yesterday that he can’t stand to see him like this. And on top of this, he feels responsible because he said he should have known his wings were still an issue and that he would try to cut them again.”</p>
<p>“It sound like you will have a lot of job to do with us in the next few weeks!”</p>
<p>“If you don’t mind, I think I should see Lucifer alone when he will be awake. You could go home a few hours and come back later?”</p>
<p>“If you think it’s better, okay then. Text me when you’re done.”</p>
<p>“Sure.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Lucifer woke up and realized his hand was on Akuma. He saw Linda, waved her a little sign and took the pad.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Where’s Chloe and Miss Lopez?”</em>
</p>
<p>“Home. Chloe will come back later. How are you?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“You don’t want to know”</em>
</p>
<p>“I’m your therapist Lucifer. Of course I want to know.”</p>
<p><em>“How’s Miss Lopez?”</em> Lucifer wrote, avoiding the question. <em>“I’m afraid I’ve upset her” </em></p>
<p> “She’s upset for hurting you but she’ll be fine.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Please tell her I’m really sorry. It’s not her fault at all”</em>
</p>
<p>“I will. Who’s fault is it?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Old Bastard”</em>
</p>
<p>Linda noticed that even when he was calling names at his father, he was still writing it with capital letter. She wondered if he was somewhat afraid of him or it was remnant of respect.</p>
<p>“Why it’s your father fault?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“He told me”</em>
</p>
<p>“What? Wait, I missed something here!”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yesterday. Told me I’m not immortal anymore. Won’t heal”</em>
</p>
<p>“Yes, Chloe told me, but why do you think it’s your father fault?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Don’t think. IT IS”</em>
</p>
<p>“But why? Why are you so sure?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Because He’s a bastard!”</em>
</p>
<p>Suddenly angry, he took the pad and threw it in the wall, just beside the first hole.</p>
<p>Linda said nothing and stood up to get it back.</p>
<p>Before she could reach it, David Jones arrived in the room. He noticed the pad in the wall.</p>
<p>“God was here?”</p>
<p>“God? No!”</p>
<p>“But who threw...?”</p>
<p>“Lucifer did.”</p>
<p>“What? You have that strength less than forty-eight hours after dying? Wow! I’m impressed!”</p>
<p>Lucifer said nothing. There was nothing to say.</p>
<p>“Well, if everything is okay I will go.”</p>
<p>Linda brought the pad back to Lucifer but he looked away. Akuma put his head on his thigh as to encourage him and Lucifer finally took the pad. His anger had already subsided.</p>
<p>“Lucifer, tell me why.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“If I do, promise me that you won’t tell Chloe. Ever”</em>
</p>
<p>“Of course I won’t. Everything that you tell me in sessions is strictly confidential.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“He proposed a deal” He finally wrote after a moment.</em>
</p>
<p>“A deal? What kind of deal?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Two conditions to get my immortality back”</em>
</p>
<p>As he was not writing more, Linda pushed him. “What conditions Lucifer?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Forgive myself. Forgive Him”</em>
</p>
<p>“Oh! I see!” She stayed silent for a moment and then added: “I don’t think I could forgive him either. I didn’t even forgive your mom yet.”</p>
<p>Lucifer looked at her in disbelief. He never thought Linda would encourage him to <em>not</em> forget his father.</p>
<p>“So we should concentrate on dealing with your actual situation. You know that after all, it might not be so bad?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“How so?”</em>
</p>
<p>“Well, you said a few days ago that the fact that you were an immortal and Chloe a human would be problematic in the future for your relation. Maybe it won’t be a problem anymore. If you’re mortal, you’ll probably age like any of us now.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Good point”</em>
</p>
<p>“So let’s focus on your happiness here and now.”</p>
<p><em>“You think it can be possible even if I’m...”</em> He took a pause like if he was searching the right word to write. <em>“...like this”</em></p>
<p>“Of course! Why not? Things will be different for sure but happiness comes from within Lucifer. No matter what problems you can have on the outside. Do you think all humans with disabilities are unhappy? Not at all. Most of them have beautiful lives. I don’t say it will be all fun of course. You’ll have to overcome a lot of frustration and grief but you can be happy. Truly happy.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“I just don’t know how I could be happy without working with the Detective.”</em>
</p>
<p>“For now you can’t see it but you will find, don’t worry. There’re so many possibilities and there’s no rush to find what you would like to do next.”</p>
<p>He nodded, thoughtful.</p>
<p>
  <em>“It’s strange. Sometimes I feel pretty much okay and right after I’m not. It’s like if I was on a rollercoaster.”</em>
</p>
<p>“That’s not strange. That’s perfectly normal actually. I honestly think you’re dealing with this incredibly well. Yes, you feel anger or sadness at times but it’s good to have those emotions right now. That helps you face your new reality. You must view everything from a new angle now. Not compare with how it was before but just start on new bases.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Will be hard to start over”</em>
</p>
<p>“If someone can do this it’s you Lucifer. You spent millennia in Hell and when you decide to ‘take a vacation’ as you said it, you started a new life here on Earth. Now you must do it again but you have friends to help you. Everything will be fine.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“I hope so”</em>
</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Chloe came back at the clinic in the beginning of the afternoon. Linda was gone since nearly one hour and had brought back Akuma home. Half an hour later, Dan and Trixie arrived. The latter had a white plush bear in her arms.</p>
<p>“Hi Lucifer! Oh wow! You have also white wings! Cooool! They are so pretty! Can I touch them?” She went on his left side and Lucifer shook his head vigorously waving at Chloe with his free hand.</p>
<p>“Monkey, go on the other side if you want to touch his wings. His left wing hurt.”</p>
<p>“Oh! Sorry Lucifer!” She looked at him and noticed the tracheostomy.</p>
<p>“Why do you have a tube in your neck?”</p>
<p>“He needs help to breathe so the machine does it for him.”</p>
<p>“But why in his neck?”</p>
<p>“Because this is the shortest way to reach his lungs and that this way, he will be able to eat.”</p>
<p>“Ah, okay!” She went on the right side of the bed, looked at ventilation and all IV tubes and decided to crawl under. She gently touched the wing with the tip of her fingers.</p>
<p>“They are so soft and it’s like they’re glowing! So cooool!”</p>
<p>Dan was standing at the end of the bed, smiling at the exuberance of his daughter. He looked at Lucifer with indulgence. “Sorry about this. She was so excited to come see you.”</p>
<p>Lucifer took the pad and wrote: <em>“No problem. Thanks for coming”</em></p>
<p>Trixie looked at Lucifer and at his parents in turn. “He can’t talk?”</p>
<p>“Not for now Monkey but he can write.”</p>
<p>She looked at Lucifer “So you can play hangman’s game?”</p>
<p>Lucifer nodded, smiling.</p>
<p>“Oh! I forgot!” She gave him the plush bear she was still holding. “It’s for you, to help you get well. His name is Genki. Apparently it means good health in Japanese.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes. That’s the correct meaning. Thank you” </em>Lucifer sat the bear just beside him.
</p>
<p>“You speak Japanese?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“I speak all languages”</em>
</p>
<p>“Can’t be!”</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m the Devil Urchin”</em>
</p>
<p>“Oh! Right! So how about a hangman’s game?”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>It was the third time the pad was slipping aside while Lucifer was trying to draw a body part of the hangman. Trixie was holding it but the way she put it on his thigh made it slip. Lucifer tried to hold it back but cut his finger on the metal clip. A sudden burst of frustration filled him and he took the pad and threw it right in front of him.</p>
<p>Dan looked at the pad embedded in the wall and the marks beside it. Three perfectly aligned holes at one inch from each other.</p>
<p>“Is this a new national sport or a new trend in decoration?” He said casually.</p>
<p>Lucifer looked at Dan, his frustration vanishing right away. He burst out laughing. Of course it was silent laughing but it was very obvious he founded the remark very funny. Dan started to laugh too followed by Chloe and Trixie. However, Lucifer began to choke and the ventilator alarm went on.</p>
<p>“What’s going on?” Dan panicked.</p>
<p>“Probably a mucus plug in the cannula again.” She went to Lucifer. “Think at the beach, everything will be fine. The nurse will be there in a few.”</p>
<p>“Again? It’s not the first time this happening?”</p>
<p>“Second time that I’m aware of.”</p>
<p>“Oh gosh! This is awful!”</p>
<p>The nurse arrived and quickly cleared his throat. She went to take his saturation with the pulse oximeter and noticed the cut. “Oh! I will put a bandage on this.” and she disinfect and covered the cut.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry man! I didn’t want to make you choke!”</p>
<p>
  <em>“That’s OK Dan. It’s good to laugh. Needed this.”</em>
</p>
<p>Trixie, who was standing frozen beside the bed all the time, finally spoke.</p>
<p>“Lucifer! I was so afraid! I thought you were gonna die!”</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m fine Urchin. Just a bit tired”</em>
</p>
<p>“I think we should let you rest,” Dan said. “We will try to come back tomorrow.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Thank you again for coming. And for the good laugh”</em>
</p>
<p>“A pleasure man!”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>It was past eight when Maze showed up. Ella had sent a prayer few minutes earlier saying she was praying for him and that <em>she was so sorry for this morning.</em></p>
<p>“Sorry for the late hour. Those humans and their stupid traditions!”</p>
<p>
  <em>“What traditions?”</em>
</p>
<p>“Giving a gift when someone is at hospital. I searched all day but found nothing that were not flowers or chocolate and that you’d like. So no gift, sorry.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Don’t care about gifts. Chloe and Linda didn’t give either. Gift is you here.”</em>
</p>
<p>Maze stiffened. She didn’t like this kind of softies.</p>
<p>“I’m far from a gift. You probably wouldn’t be in that situation if I had called Chloe earlier instead of waiting that you were already half dead.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“What does everyone have today to feel sorry for? Stop that! You are NOT responsible for my current situation. I’m the one who tried to cut his wings and Old Bastard is the one why I won’t heal.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Yeah, Chloe told me about that and I still don’t understand why he did it. I bet you are hiding something.”</p>
<p>Lucifer didn’t answer. Maybe Maze would understand, he thought. Maybe she would think like Linda. Maybe he should tell her.</p>
<p>“What are you hiding Lucifer?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“If I tell you, you must never tell the Detective. Ever.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“You will understand when I’ll tell you.”</em>
</p>
<p>“So? What are you hiding?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Promise”</em>
</p>
<p>“I promise. Spit it out!”</p>
<p>He explained the<em> deal.</em></p>
<p>“I totally agreed with you and Linda and that Decker must never know. I don’t think she would understand. So, what do you want to do now?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Don’t know yet but you might be able to help me find out”</em>
</p>
<p>“How?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“I would like to find what I could do to be useful. Something I could do from the penthouse”</em>
</p>
<p>“Okay. I can search for that. Anything else?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes. Check what I will need when I’ll leave this place. Maybe you can see with David Jones.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Can do this.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“And I’d like that you find my phone. Chloe said it was not in my jacket or at her apartment so must be at the penthouse”</em>
</p>
<p>“Ok. I will check.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“One last thing. See how we could set the penthouse to give the little Urchin a room on their own, probably in the guest room”</em>
</p>
<p>“Decker will really live with you?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Don’t know. Didn’t ask yet but it would be the easiest way if she still want of me”</em>
</p>
<p>“Of course she’ll want to. She’s totally crazy about you!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was not supposed to be like that. At all! But when I let my mind wander in automatic writing, that’s what I get. I like the way it turned out though. Playing with some characters usual way of thinking and turn them around without even noticing I was doing it was fun! What do you think of their reactions?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. A long recovery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sunday morning began the same way than Saturday but inner cannula changes were now way easier. They just finished his fifth one and even if he couldn’t say he like it, he was not terrified anymore.</p>
<p>Maze had found his phone and Chloe had bring it so he texted Miss Lopez to make sure she was OK and apologized for his reaction the day before. She still sound shook in her prayers. <em>“You are sure you’re not mad at me?”</em> She asked. <em>“I never could.”</em></p>
<p>Lucifer slept part of the morning after Doctor Jones had checked his wound. The pain was still intense as soon as he was moving is arm or the doctor was pressing on it. When he woke up, David Jones met him and Chloe to explain all details about the tracheostomy, the changes it caused and how it would affect eating and speaking. Even if usually they were starting eating after the first outer tube change, the doctor felt he was ready to make a first try. Lucifer had no problem swallowing and drinking water so he would try apple puree.</p>
<p>The doctor deflated the cuff and Lucifer began to eat slowly. He took the pad to write.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Taste nothing”</em>
</p>
<p>“It’s because you don’t breathe by your nose and mouth anymore. With the speech valve it will be better but it won’t be the same as before. For a while you will rediscover the taste of everything.”</p>
<p>Another thing he would need to get used too. So many little things were different now. And all he could do was accept it and move forward. It was really a new life.</p>
<p>In the beginning of the afternoon, Dan came back with Trixie. Even if he had said he would try to, Lucifer was surprised. Dan had a gift for him. It was a digital writing pad.</p>
<p>“I think it will be more useful but please avoid throwing it on the wall.” Lucifer smiled at the mention.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Thank you so much. It’s very kind of you and will be very useful.”</em>
</p>
<p>With what the doctor had said this morning, he knew that writing would remains a necessity. The speech valve would allow speaking only while breathing-out and since Lucifer’s breath was short, it would not allow long sentences. Chloe had already decided to learn sign language. It would be a lot easier and quicker to communicate.</p>
<p>Trixie and Lucifer played tic-tac-toe and hangman’s game for almost an hour on the new tablet until Lucifer began to feel tired.</p>
<p>Before they leave, Dan asked to talk to Lucifer alone for a few minutes.</p>
<p>“I really want to apologize for everything I’ve said and done to you since... since Charlotte’s death.” Dan took a deep breath before continuing. “I was wrong Lucifer. You’re a good man and I hope we can be friends despite what I’ve done to you.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“I already consider you my friend”</em>
</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p><em>“Of course. We all make mistakes. Myself perhaps even more than most of people”</em> I wouldn’t be in this situation if I was not, he thought but he didn’t write it. </p>
<p>“So maybe we can help each other to do fewer mistakes.”</p>
<p>Lucifer nodded and smile. If Chloe and Trixie agreed to stay with him, that would be great to have a good relationship with Dan. Especially for the little urchin.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Linda was stunned to see the state of mind of her favorite patient. She was talking with him daily and he was improving at each session. Since their talk on Saturday, Lucifer seemed to have gone through all the stages of grief and already begun acceptance. Of course everything was not perfect but Ella involuntary shook up have been the best thing that could happen.</p>
<p>Today was a special session though. It was Tuesday and they have planned to change the outer tube in late afternoon. Doctor Jones had explained everything in details this time but Lucifer was frightful. He knew he should not – they would not let him die – but it was supposed to last a little longer than the inner cannula change and not being able to breathe was the worst experience he had by far. Even the pain in his shoulder – that was always present and sometimes very acute – seems more manageable than searching for his breath.</p>
<p>Chloe finished work earlier and she was there at four. The doctor and nurse prepare everything and were ready to begin. </p>
<p>“Try to relax Lucifer. It won’t help you if your trachea is contracted by stress. When I will tell you, try to cough. It will help pulling the tube out.”</p>
<p>They waited that Chloe succeed to relax him with the beach visualisation before put the ventilator on hold and start. The sensation of the tube coming out of the trachea was horrible but he knew it was worst because the first tube they put was bigger than the one he would have now. </p>
<p>When they were doing the inner cannula change, he was almost feeling anything except for aspiration but now, he was feeling the tube change and if it was not painful, it was really uncomfortable. He tried to concentrate on Chloe’s voice, to forget the lack of air and the drowning sensation. Tried to forget that he would suffer this every now and then for the rest of his life. When the air filled his lungs again tears were beading in his long lashes. He kept his eyes closed for the next minute while Chloe was playing in his curls and the doctors were finishing attaching a new strap around his neck.</p>
<p>“You’ve done great Lucifer. It’s over.”</p>
<p>He opened his eyes and look at her. Each time he was seeing her beautiful blue eyes his heart was melting. He smile to her and mouthed a thank you.</p>
<p>Hopefully, the next change would only be in eight weeks and should be easier now that the tube was a little smaller. They would try the speech valve tomorrow.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>“Hello Detective!”</p>
<p>“Lucifer! Oh that’s great!”</p>
<p>She smiled and went to kiss him.</p>
<p>“So? How is it?”</p>
<p>“Not easy. I get... out of breath quickly.” </p>
<p>They had made the first try in the morning just before breakfast. His poor breathe capacity left him breathless quickly. So they had done a few half-an-hour tries during the day. The doctor had said it would take some time to adjust. He also had discovered that waiting for the next breathe-out to finish his sentence was frustrating. The only real improvement was for eating. He tasted something – even if it was not what he was used to – and it seemed even easier to swallow, more natural. </p>
<p>“I got up for... the first time today.”</p>
<p>“Really? How it was?”</p>
<p>“Not really good... felt dizzy and... almost fell.”</p>
<p>Waiting for another breathe-out to have the rest of the sentence was frustrating for Chloe too. David had explained that it was important that she let him finish before starting to talk and this slow pace conversation was not natural, especially for them. </p>
<p>“Hopefully John was there.”</p>
<p>“Yes.  Said he will... make a new try tomor...” The rest of the sentence got lost as the breathe-in began. Chloe put her hand on his cheek.</p>
<p>“I’m sure it will be better tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“I hope so... How was your day?”</p>
<p>“Good even if we’re still not able to close our last case.”</p>
<p>“Wish I could help.”</p>
<p>“I know, me too but I’m sure Ella will find new evidence. She always does.”</p>
<p>“Miss Lopez is wonderf...” Lucifer breathe-in swallowed again the end of the sentence and he leaned his head on the pillow, closing his eyes. He looked tired.</p>
<p>“Yes she is. Are you alright?” </p>
<p>Lucifer nodded but didn’t answer. Chloe noticed that the saturation was down to 94. Not alarming but below normal. She called the nurse who decided it was time to remove the speech valve. Few minutes later the saturation was back to 98.</p>
<p>“I will have my second signed language lesson tonight. Trixie wants to come with me.”</p>
<p><em>“Great.”</em> He wrote. <em>“It will be so much easier to communicate when I’ll be able to use my left hand again”</em></p>
<p>“Did they say when it will be?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Not before Tuesday I think but each time they untie my arm my shoulder hurts a lot”</em>
</p>
<p>“It’s been less than a week. Even if the outside look fine, the inside will take more time to fully heal.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“If it’s ever”</em>
</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Hell-forged blades are made to kill celestials. The kind of wound even a celestial barely can heal. Imagine the result on a human body”</em>
</p>
<p>“So you think that it might never heal?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“I don’t know. Doctor said the wound heal well so I keep faith that if the outside can heal, the inside can too”</em>
</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>They finally decided to remove the stitches on Wednesday. They sat Lucifer straight, the front of his left shoulder pressed against John’s sitting in front of him. Lucifer kept his forearm tightly pressed on his chest. Sixty-nine stitches. Sixty-nine clenched fists, gritted teeth and silent moaning. He almost passed out twice and they had to give him additional morphine to finish. </p>
<p>They had planned to slowly start re-education the next day but with the pain bolt that occurs when they tried to stretch his arm, they knew it was not going to be easy. They tied the upper part of his arm along his chest letting only the forearm free.</p>
<p>“Even if your stitches are removed, don’t try to put your wings inside before another six weeks at least, more probably eight. I will tell you when it will be safe to try.”</p>
<p>Lucifer nodded. He was afraid that he might never be able to put his left wing inside again but said nothing. Even if that happened it was not like if he was going to wander everywhere in the city anyway.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>In the weeks that followed, Lucifer had a lot of visit. Every morning Linda was coming with Akuma for his daily session and Chloe was coming right after work eating dinner with him and staying part of the evening. On the weekend she spent most of her free time at the clinic. She was now able to understand a little sign language and was improving at each visit. When Trixie was staying with her she was coming too and even if she wasn’t attending all signed language classes she was probably better than her mother. Dan was coming each weekend and sometimes on weekdays evening too when he had Trixie.</p>
<p>Ella visits were every Saturday and she was spending most of morning with him. And there was Maze. Maze was coming at any hours and any days, many times a week, popping without warning but never staying long. She was working at preparing the penthouse and if she didn’t found yet what Lucifer could do once there, she had some good ideas.</p>
<p>“I almost never see Amenadiel.” Lucifer said to Linda one day. “He’s he alright?” In fact, Amenadiel only visit twice since the first evening Lucifer arrived at the clinic.</p>
<p>“Yes but he’s very busy.” Linda answered.</p>
<p>“What take him so much of... his time?”</p>
<p>Linda sighed. “Okay, I will be honest with you. Amenadiel doesn’t accept your situation. He says he can’t stand to see you like this. That’s why he’s avoiding you. He’s not mad at you, just very uncomfortable with all this.”</p>
<p>“Can’t blame him... It was a shock for me too... the first time I saw myself... in the mirror.” </p>
<p>Lucifer remembered the first time he saw himself when going to the bathroom. It’s been almost three weeks he had the trach at that time but it was a shock nevertheless. To actually see the tube going out of his neck was more impressive than having it. As for him it was a matter of life and death, it was much easier to accept knowing he would die within minutes if it was not there. But he could easily understand that for someone else, it could be harder.</p>
<p>“Please tell him that... he can still text me... I missed him.”</p>
<p>“I will. Thank you for your understanding.”</p>
<p>Linda was the only one with whom he used only speech. She was incredibly patient and although sometimes it took him a long time to finish what he had to say, she never interrupted him. Ella on the other side was at the opposite. Since she had always something new to add and that she seems never in a lack of ideas or new subjects, he was using mostly writing with her. Even if he appreciate her very much, trying to talk with her was just frustrating. With Dan and Maze it was speech for short sentence and writing when it get longer and for Chloe and Trixie it was a mix between the three way of communication.</p>
<p>He was now able to keep the speech valve all day, removing it only for his naps or sleeping at night. Day after day he was getting stronger. In fact it was less his strength that cause problem – he was still celestially strong – but rather that every time he walked around he was feeling breathless. Doctor Jones had said that it would get better with practice so he was forcing himself to walk in the room as much as possible, helped by John who was carrying the ventilator.</p>
<p>Two month after starting it, they were able to stopped dialysis. Lucifer still had to take medication to help his kidney but it was a great improvement from his previous condition.<br/>
Lucifer was getting used to his new life in an incredible way except for one thing: his shoulder. Every day, John – who besides being a nurse had a physiotherapy degree – was doing re-education sessions with him. Those sessions were awfully painful and even if he was seeing amelioration, his shoulder still felt like it was tearing apart at each movement. They had done an ultrasound exam and IRM but there was no sign why the wound was still so painful.</p>
<p>Ten weeks after his arrival at the clinic, Lucifer was almost ready to go home. Almost, because with his wings out, they were still wondering how they could bring him to the penthouse. A flight back was impossible. Amenadiel – if he would dare to showed up – would not being able to carry him and the ventilator, even a portable one. And those huge wings could not fit in any transportation.</p>
<p>Furthermore, Lucifer hadn’t asked Chloe yet if she wanted to come to live with him. He was afraid of her answer. John had already accepted to take care of him and continue his re-education at the penthouse during daytime but he wouldn’t stay with him twenty-four hours a day. And with the trach and all that could happens, it was impossible for him to stay alone, especially at night time. The penthouse was ready – Maze had make sure with David Jones that everything was perfect for Lucifer’s needs – but was waiting for his occupants.</p>
<p>Since almost one week, Doctor Jones had agreed to make a trial to fold his wings back in but Lucifer didn’t want to try arguing he was not ready. For a lot of reasons he was afraid. Afraid of the pain, of course, but also of the fact that if it didn’t work, he would be stuck there forever. With the help of Linda and Chloe – a lot of help – he finally accepted to make a try.</p>
<p>He began to fold his right wing to be able to concentrate only on the left one. He closed his eyes brace himself against the pain that would inevitably occur and began. The first part went well but as expected, to put it all back in wasn’t going to be easy. When he thought he would pass out if pulling it more, he stopped his movement trying to control the pain. Most part of the wing was in but half of the primaries where still out. He intended to take a pause before trying to pull them more when it suddenly unfurl with a swish sound.</p>
<p>“It’s too painful?” David asked.</p>
<p>“Yes but not only.” He tried to put words to the sensation he had. “It’s more like there’s... not enough space.”</p>
<p>“It might be possible since I had to remove infected tissue. The good news is that if you practice regularly, you should be able to enlarge it. But the most important right now is less to be able to fold it completely than be able to keep it fold for the time to get home.”</p>
<p>Half-an-hour. If they choose carefully the time they do the ride, he needs to keep it inside for half-an-hour. That should be possible. He practiced all week, many time a day and within a week he was half way through his objective. It was time to talk to Chloe.</p>
<p>“I have something I’d like to... talk to you about.” He began. </p>
<p>“Yeah, sure! What is it?”</p>
<p>“I’d like that you...” He paused, searching his words. “I wonder if you...” He stopped again and looked away.</p>
<p>Chloe rubbed his forearm. “You know you can tell me anything.”</p>
<p>Lucifer finally took the writing pad.</p>
<p>
  <em>“When I will return to the penthouse I’d like that you and the little urchin come to live with me. If you want of course”</em>
</p>
<p>He gave her the pad but didn’t look at her. He couldn’t. He was so afraid of her reaction. What he would do if she said no? He knew he couldn’t stand this new life without her. He didn’t want to be a burden but he needed her. He desperately needed her presence besides him.</p>
<p>“Oh! Lucifer! Of course I will! Of course I want to go live with you! I already asked Trixie what she’d liked and she agreed it’s the best solution. I’ve want to talk to you about it but I didn’t want to seem pushing you.”</p>
<p>He looked at her but wasn’t able to talk. He felt the tears wetting his eyes. Why was he crying at this moment he wondered? He felt so happy, so relieved. Chloe kissed him and put her forehead against his. They stayed like this a moment.</p>
<p>“We can use the guest room.” Chloe began.</p>
<p>“Everything’s already set... Maze took care of it.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“I asked her a while ago... I was hoping that you...” He stopped, a little shy. He didn’t want to screw everything now that she said yes.</p>
<p>“Never mind, Lucifer. I will see once there. I will ask Doctor Jones to teach me everything I need to know to help you.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Eighty-seven days after his arrival at the clinic, Lucifer was ready to leave. They had chosen a Sunday evening so the traffic would be fluid. They had rent a minivan for the occasion and Lucifer folded his wings just before entering in. A few feathers were still out but the important was that he was able to keep the rest of the wing inside. He sat in a seat of the middle row, Chloe on the other, the portable ventilator with oxygen supply between them. Dan was driving while Trixie was on the passenger seat beside him. John Thompson was following in his own car.</p>
<p>Keeping his wings in place in a moving vehicle was far more difficult than doing it inside. When they arrived at Lux, Dan parked in the private garage and Lucifer released his wings as soon as he got out of the car, exhausted by twenty-five minutes of pain contained. John brought the wheel chair they have borrowed at the clinic and Lucifer sat in. He waited for long minutes to allow the pain to subside enough to fold his wings back before he get to the elevator. He didn’t want to meet anyone at Lux so Maze had closed it for the night.</p>
<p>When the elevator doors opened on the penthouse, John pushed the wheelchair in the open space with an appraisal look. It shouldn’t been too hard to work there.  Lucifer unfurled his wings with relief. His gaze fall on the grand piano and nostalgia submerged him. He held back tears that were not invited.</p>
<p> “Home sweet home.” He whispered.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments are always welcome! It motivate me to keep writing this crazy story!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. A new job</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It must have been exhaustion. Why does he have to held back tears otherwise? Chloe, Beatrice and Dan followed John in the main space.</p>
<p>“Well, if you don’t need me anymore, I will go.” Dan said. Everybody wished him goodnight.</p>
<p>“So,” Chloe began. “How do you want us to settle down for tonight?” She had left the suitcase she had brought beside the couch.</p>
<p>“Well, follow me.” He gestured at John to bring him to the bedroom. He felt so tired that he didn’t even thought at standing up and walk.</p>
<p>Chloe noticed that the few steps at the entrance of the room had been changed for a ramp. It would be more practical to carry the ventilator. The usual king size bed had been replaced by an articulated bed of the same size. It was divided in half so each person could adjust his part of the bed. It was impossible for Lucifer to sleep lying on a flat bed but he didn’t want to impose a raised head position to Chloe neither to have two separate beds. So Maze had ordered a customized bed to make sure both would be at their ease.</p>
<p>A ventilator identical to the one at the clinic was standing beside the bed. Many oxygen tanks were aligned in a corner. There were two sizes. Huge ones for the ventilator in the room and smaller ones for the carry-on. </p>
<p>“I hope that’s okay with you.”</p>
<p>“Of course it is! That’s perfect Lucifer!”</p>
<p>“Urchin’s room is in the guest...” He wave in the direction of the guest room and Trixie ran to see it.</p>
<p>They both heard: “No. Way! This is AMAZING!”</p>
<p>Chloe gave him a query look.</p>
<p>“Go see. Maze showed me pictures.”</p>
<p>Beatrice room was awesome. All the room have been paint in an almost black blue and thousands of stars made the room looks like she was in the universe. But it was not the most fabulous part. A huge realistic painting of the Planet Mars was covering three-quarters of the wall just in front of the bed.</p>
<p>Chloe and Trixie went back to Lucifer. While Trixie was thanking him over and over Chloe asked him how he done that.</p>
<p>“Just told Maze I want a... Planet Mars decor... She did the rest.”</p>
<p>“Maze painted that?”</p>
<p>Lucifer laughed. “No. Of course not!... She hired someone.”</p>
<p>“That someone is very talented!”</p>
<p>He smiled. “If you don’t mind I will... go to sleep... I’m really tired.”</p>
<p>“Yes of course!”</p>
<p>John helped him get dressed in pajamas and set him for the night. He strapped the upper part of his left arm against his chest to avoid pain from moving awaking him. The huge nurse wasn’t even out of the room that Lucifer was already sleeping. He waved good bye to Chloe and leaved.</p>
<p>“Monkey, it’s late and you have school tomorrow. Come take your pajamas and what you need for the night.”</p>
<p>“I can’t wait to tell my friends about my new room! They’re gonna be sooo jealous!”</p>
<p>Chloe laughed. “Don’t brag too much about it.”</p>
<p>“Don’t need too! I will show them pictures!”</p>
<p>Yeah, right, Chloe thought. While her daughter was brushing her teeth in her own bathroom, she texted Maze to thank her for everything she took care about. The latter answered that it was nothing. Now she had the apartment for herself. So Maze.</p>
<p>Chloe removed her own pajama and toothbrush from the suitcase. She must admit she was tired too.</p>
<p>“Good night Mummy!”</p>
<p>“Good night Monkey.”</p>
<p>Chloe got prepared for the night and went to the large bed. Lucifer was already sleeping, his side of the bed at a 45-degree angle. His right wing was half her side but she didn’t mind. Not only the bed was big enough but she could sleep cover with this soft wing every night if needed. She lay beside him, lulled by the soft hissing of the ventilator.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Phone’s alarm went on and Chloe woke up, confused. It took her a few seconds to remember that she was at the penthouse and she hurried to shut down the buzzing sound. She turned around and saw that Lucifer was turned on his right side, on the edge of his side of bed. He was watching her, smiling. She stretched to kiss him and he respond to her kiss tenderly.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to wake you up.” </p>
<p>He shook his head. <em>“I was already awake,”</em> he signed. <em>“Slept well?”</em></p>
<p>Chloe nodded and smile. She understood most basics of signed language now and she could only praise herself on having decided to learn it.</p>
<p>“And you?” She asked.</p>
<p>He nodded, still smiling. </p>
<p>“Do you want to do the cannula change now? I will do breakfast after.”</p>
<p>He nodded again and she proceeded with it. The last week Lucifer was at the clinic, Doctor Jones not only showed her how to do it but made her practiced four times so he was sure she was confident about it. She finished by putting the speech valve and plugged the smaller ventilator so he could follow her in the main space. She untied his arm and helped him to put a sling passing on his right shoulder and beneath the left wing.</p>
<p>“Are you alright for the rest?” She asked as he was slowly getting up.</p>
<p>“Yes, thank you.” He went to the bathroom while she began to prepare breakfast.</p>
<p>When he came back, Trixie was sitting at the counter in front of her mother. He joined them, rolling the ventilator beside him with his right hand. </p>
<p>“Are you hungry?”</p>
<p>“I’m starving.”</p>
<p>Chloe served everyone and they began eating.</p>
<p>“I will talk to Linda today about Akuma. She already told me that she think we should take him with us. Do you still agree?”</p>
<p>Lucifer nodded. Since he was eating, it was preferable that he don’t talk to avoid choking. They were used to these yes and no questions while eating since Chloe had eat dinner with him for two months now.</p>
<p>John arrived as Chloe and Trixie were washing the plates. He greeted everyone with a smile. Trixie went to her room get prepared for school while Chloe get dressed for work.</p>
<p>“Have a good day Detective!... Have a good day Urchin!” Chloe smile and wondered if he would stop one day to call her like that. Not that she was complaining, but it felt like if he still wanted to keep a little distance between them. Like if he considered her superior to him by giving her this title.</p>
<p>“Have a good day Lucifer!”</p>
<p>Once alone with Lucifer, John reprimanded him for continuing to use a sling.</p>
<p>“I know it’s painful but your arm have to move if you want it to get better.”</p>
<p>Lucifer sighed but comply and let him removed it. Before Linda arrival, he asked John to walk around the penthouse with him as they were doing in the room at the clinic. He had seen a great amelioration by doing it and wanted to keep it going.</p>
<p>When he was too tired to continue, he sat at the piano and stated to play a slow melody. </p>
<p>
  <em>…</em>
</p>
<p><em>For a moment wasn't I the king</em> </p>
<p>
  <em>But if I'd only known how the king would fall </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>…</em>
</p>
<p>He was unable to sing but the lyrics where playing in his head. John put a hand on it to feel the vibrations. </p>
<p><em>“I wish I could hear it.”</em> He signed</p>
<p>Lucifer nodded sadly. He didn’t stop playing to answered but he wished he could sing. As he was playing, he didn’t notice it but he began to cry. It’s at this moment that Linda arrived.</p>
<p>“Lucifer, are you alright?”</p>
<p>He stopped playing and looked at her with a sad smile.</p>
<p>“I thought everything would be fine... now that I’m here... But it’s not. It’s worse”</p>
<p>She put Akuma on the floor and sat beside him.</p>
<p>“Why do you think it’s worse?”</p>
<p>“There’re so many things here that... reminds me of what I lost.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I had the thought this would happen but this is perfectly normal. But you had some gains too. Like Chloe living here with you.”</p>
<p>“But maybe she would have anyway... eventually.”</p>
<p>“Maybe, but maybe not. You can’t supposed what would have been if that hadn’t happened. You have to keep moving forward. How it was to wake up with Chloe this morning?”</p>
<p>He smiled. “Good. Really good.”</p>
<p>“You see? It’s not all negative to be back here.”</p>
<p>“But it hurt to see her leave... without me. And not being able... to sing anymore.”</p>
<p>“Didn’t you tell me two days ago that Maze had found something about a job?”</p>
<p>“Yes. She had one more thing to... check and she’s supposed to come... here today about this.”</p>
<p>“That’s good, don’t you think so?”</p>
<p>Lucifer nodded. He must agree that he was curious to know what Maze had in mind.</p>
<p>“There’re still be thing that you won’t be able to do but you have to focus on everything you can do, not on the opposite.”</p>
<p>“It’s just I thought I was done... with the rollercoaster thing... I was doing better in the... last weeks.”</p>
<p>“And you’re definitely better but it’s also normal to have down sometimes. Just don’t let those down have the better of you.”</p>
<p>“I will try.”</p>
<p>“By the way, have you thought about Akuma?”</p>
<p>After looking everywhere in the apartment, the dog had lay down at Lucifer feet. He told her that they were considering keeping him and Linda agreed it was the best solution for everyone. If he wanted to keep him now she had brought everything he needed to do so. Lucifer asked John if he mind about it but the nurse was pleased at the idea. He even proposed to take a walk outside with him while Lucifer would have his session. Not that he was listening to what they say but it would be more interesting than doing nothing or play on his phone for an hour.</p>
<p>“And I can still babysit – or I should say dogsit – when you’ll need.”</p>
<p>After Linda leaved, Lucifer texted Chloe to tell her everything was set for Akuma. She answered <em>great</em> and asked him how he was doing. <em>Great</em> he wrote back.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Lucifer had slept for one hour and half after John had work on his shoulder. When he woke up lunch was ready. Nothing fancy, just spaghetti, but anyway Lucifer didn’t taste much so he would have eat anything.</p>
<p>Maze arrived few after with a brand new laptop in one hand and a thick file in the other. She put the laptop on the counter and started explaining what she was working on since a few weeks.</p>
<p>“So, the job I think would be perfect for you is still with LAPD and I hope it’s going to please you because everything is already organized.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to do paperwork.” He grumbled while watching at the computer and the file.</p>
<p>“And it’s not. So you’re officially a covert internet investigator for LAPD.”</p>
<p>“A what?”</p>
<p>“A covert internet investigator. You will work to search and arrest sexual predator on the web but under cover. You remembered all questions I asked two or three weeks ago?”</p>
<p>“The weird ones?”</p>
<p>“They were not so weird.”</p>
<p>“Yes they were.”</p>
<p>“Well, those questions were from the lieutenant at the precinct. He wanted to know if you would be good at it and he think you would be perfect.”</p>
<p>“And what does an internet investiga... investigator do?”</p>
<p>“Mostly you pretend to be a teenager who is in search for love or sex experience.”</p>
<p>“Really?” He grinned.</p>
<p>“Yes, but don’t forget that you must sound like a teenager so you will have to do some reading to learn how to.”</p>
<p>“No needs to. I just have to talk... like the little urchin.”</p>
<p>Maze look at him. He was probably right on that and the light in his eyes showed her she had a good idea.</p>
<p>“So? What do you think of this? Are you in or not?”</p>
<p>“Bloody Hell! Yes!” A broad smile radiated on his face. “But how did you fix all this?”</p>
<p>Maze explained how she had the idea and how she convinced the lieutenant to accept him. Lucifer was stunted. She really worked hard for him. Not counting of everything she took care of in the penthouse.</p>
<p>She spent the next hour to show him how to proceed, how to register everything he will do as evidence and gave him an extended list of places he could search.</p>
<p>“Can I use my contacts?”</p>
<p>“Yes, but not to trap anyone. No ambush.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Can’t wait to start!”</p>
<p>“It’s when you’re ready! I will have to go. See you!”</p>
<p>“See you. And thank you Maze.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Lucifer was still on the computer when Chloe and Trixie arrived. They both noticed that he was in a radiant mood. He explained what job Maze founded him and Chloe agreed it was perfect.</p>
<p>Exceptionally, John ate dinner with them as Chloe and Trixie have to go to the apartment they have share with Maze to get clothes and stuff they would need. They came back with a lot of things and they spent the rest of the evening trying to figure where they would put everything.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The song Lucifer was playing on piano is The Dance from Garth Brooks but you can choose whatever you want!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Urchin's wonderful idea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They get settled in a routine pretty quickly. In the morning, Lucifer had his session with Linda and was working with John for walking, folding his wings and his shoulder re-education. After a nap with Akuma, he was walking and practicing folding his wings again and then got dressed in trousers, shirt and jacket as if he was really going to work somewhere. </p>
<p>The first time Chloe came back to work and saw him fully dressed, she wondered what was going on.</p>
<p>“I won’t work in bloody pajamas!” Lucifer defended himself.</p>
<p>“But no one sees you!”</p>
<p>“I don’t see why I shouldn’t be... able to get dressed properly.” He tempered. “I’m not sick! I’m just... like this!” He gestured at himself and the ventilator. He was already struggling to accept this diminish version of himself. If getting dressed could help him felt better, why not? </p>
<p>“I’m sorry Lucifer. I didn’t want to upset you. You’re right. It’s probably a good idea to not spend your days in pajamas. And you look damn good dressed like that.”</p>
<p>Lucifer smiled and his growing anger vanished. He kissed her, the little argument already forgotten. He went to the bar intending to pour himself a drink when Chloe stopped him.</p>
<p>“You know doctor said no alcohol.”</p>
<p>“But just one drink!” He begged.</p>
<p>“Lucifer, all the medications you’re taking for your kidneys and pain aren’t compatible with alcohol. You certainly don’t want to return on dialysis or have more breathing issues that you already have. David explained all of this remembered?”</p>
<p>Oh! Yes! He did remember. David had repeated it over and over again. No alcohol. At all. At least not until his kidneys were not borderline dialysis like they still were and the pain had eased enough to stop medication. He sighed. So no alcohol it would be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Every evening around four, he was sitting on the couch, the laptop on his thighs, doing some research for his next prey. Since he was supposed to be a teenager, he could only work on evening and weekend. That was the downside of this work. With Chloe, they managed to do a schedule so they can still spend time together.</p>
<p>It took him less than two weeks to get an appointment with a first predator. The police set everything perfectly and they arrested the forty-six years old scum. Lucifer felt some pride knowing that there was one less predator online. But after two months and eleven arrests, even if he felt he was doing something, it was like it was not enough. He missed his job with the Detective. He was complaining about it one evening when Trixie interrupted him.</p>
<p>“Why you don’t go then? You’re able to fold your wings long enough now, no?”</p>
<p>“Three hours isn’t exactly long but... it’s not the biggest problem.” He was using signed language at the same time he was saying it to help Chloe and Beatrice understand more than the basics they were now good at.</p>
<p>“So what’s the biggest problem?”</p>
<p>“This.” He said showing the ventilator. “Even if it’s portative it’s not... convenient.”</p>
<p>“You could use the same gear than astronauts then. If they could walk on moon with it you should be able to go around everywhere you want.”</p>
<p>“I’m not a bloody astronaut!”He snapped. He stood up, needing to vent the frustration building up from this crazy proposition.</p>
<p>“Not the whole suit, silly! Only the backpack with the oxygen part.”</p>
<p>Lucifer stopped and turned around.</p>
<p>“Repeat that?”</p>
<p>“The backpack the astronauts carry. I’m sure you can use something like this, maybe just smaller.”</p>
<p>A smile spread across Lucifer’s face. “You’re a genius Urchin!”</p>
<p>“Lucifer! Where are you going?” Chloe asked as he was heading toward their room.</p>
<p>“I have a phone call to do.”</p>
<p>Half an hour later he was back with the largest smile Chloe had ever seen on him.</p>
<p>“Should have it within one month.”</p>
<p>“Have what? An astronaut backpack?”</p>
<p>“Not an astronaut but one done just... for me.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>He nodded, still smiling “Ready to work again with the Devil?”</p>
<p>“Of course I am!” Chloe kissed him while Trixie rolled eyes.</p>
<p>Even knowing months ago he wouldn’t come back, she refused to get assigned a new partner. She had one for five weeks while Lucifer was in Hell but it didn’t worked out and she had realized that except for Lucifer, she preferred to work alone.</p>
<p>Two days later, Chloe noticed a new gear along the balcony windows when she came back from work.</p>
<p>“Is this a rower?” She asked doubtfully.</p>
<p>“Yes!” He answered proudly. “I’ve talk with John and we figure... it was the best way to improve... my breathing and my shoulder.”</p>
<p>“Your breathing is already a lot better than it was.”</p>
<p>“Yes but not enough I’m afraid... I don’t want to look like an old man... with emphysema at the precinct.”</p>
<p>“Who cares!?”</p>
<p>“Me. I do care.”</p>
<p>She knew it was hard for him to put his pride away. Even if he seems fine most of the time, there were moments like this where she knew everything was not so perfect. Every Saturday they had friends for dinner. At these occasions, she could see how he felt embarrassed at their help offering or his needs to rest. </p>
<p>“Listen to me Lucifer. If you do it to feel better that’s great but if it’s only for what people will think of you, you should not care about it. Stop feeling ashamed. You don’t have to be.”</p>
<p>“Let’s say I’m doing this for myself then.”</p>
<p>“For your pride, I know, but that’s ok.” She put her hand on his cheek and smile. He smiled in return. She knew him too well now.</p>
<p>Three weeks later, she must admit it was a good idea though. There was already a big difference in his walking pace and stamina. Even his shoulder had gain in strength and he could now keep his wings folded almost four hours without much pain.</p>
<p>When the ‘backpack’ arrived – in fact he had ordered two – it was absolutely perfect. The design was elegant, almost futuristic, and with near six hours oxygen and battery autonomy. It even had a compartment to put extra cannulas, and everything he would need in case of an emergency. It also had a slide where he could put the writing pad. A human would have founded it heavy but for him, it was nothing. He tried it right away and while he appreciated its comfort, Chloe could admire its elegance.</p>
<p>“I love it!” Trixie said in excitement. “I had a good idea, huh?”</p>
<p>“Indeed Urchin.”</p>
<p>“That’s absolutely perfect!” Chloe added. “We should go take a walk outside with Akuma.”</p>
<p>“That’s a wonderful idea.”</p>
<p>Chloe helped him to tie a loose scarf around his neck and they went down like a happy little family. The Lux was not opened yet on this Saturday morning so they walked through without being disturbed. It was the first time Lucifer was going outside in almost six months – except for the few minutes when he had left the clinic and on the balcony of course – and he was delighted. </p>
<p>There was a dog park really close to the Lux and they sat to a bench while Trixie was playing with Akuma. Lucifer put the backpack beside him, circling it with his right arm. He seemed in awe with everything. The soft wind on his face, rustling leaves in the sun, chirping birds, like if he was rediscovering things for the first time. </p>
<p>“I never thought I could be happy again... but it seems I was wrong.” He said thoughtfully. “You see Father?” He added while looking at the sky. “You must be proud! Finally got my happiness!... And no need of your deal!”</p>
<p>“What deal Lucifer?” Chloe asked.</p>
<p>“Forget I said that. Don’t need it anyway.”</p>
<p>She put her hand on his forearm. “What deal? What did He asked for your happiness? You can’t keep that from me.”</p>
<p>“To forgive Him.” He said in a whisper. He didn’t talk about the ‘forgive himself’ part, anyway that wasn’t relevant at the moment. </p>
<p>Chloe almost choked “He really asked that? How could He ask that after all He’s done to you?”</p>
<p>“That’s the million dollar question.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Ella was surprised when she heard someone knocking at her door on this Saturday early afternoon. She wasn’t expecting any visitors today. She got up and went to the door. Her heart missed a beat at the visitor in front of her.</p>
<p>“Can I enter?” He asked gently.</p>
<p>“Yes, yes, of course! I’m sorry, I didn’t expect you! Why? Why are you visiting me? I mean... not that I’m not happy but I... I don’t understand.” </p>
<p>“I’ve ruined everything.” God said as He entered and He started crying.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There is a real dog park near the Sunset Tower, the building they used for the Lux. When I discovered that I thought it was the perfect place to send them!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. A chat with God</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Easter everyone! I thought a chat with God on Easter Day was perfect! I hope you'll enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To see God crying in front of her like a child wiped all awkwardness she felt. Ella couldn’t help her and hugged Him the way only her could do it. They stayed like this a moment until God sobs faded.</p>
<p>“I’ve ruined everything.” He finally repeated when she let Him go.</p>
<p>“What did you ruined?”</p>
<p>“My relation with him. The chance to start over.”</p>
<p>“Your relation with who?”</p>
<p>“Samael.”</p>
<p>“Who?”</p>
<p>“You know him as Lucifer.”</p>
<p>They sat on the couch and God start a fuzzy explanation about chances and forgiveness, fall and redemption and went on for five minutes when Ella stopped Him.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry but I don’t understand what you’re talking about. Please start this from the beginning.”</p>
<p>“Samael – well Lucifer – always been special. Among all my children he was the most sensitive, the most eager to please and the one who needed the most reassurance and love. Maybe it’s because of his special ability with desire but for he had never enough. He always wanted more. As for an example, when he began to create the stars, he didn’t just create the few thousand I asked him but countless of them. But he was also a stubborn one.”</p>
<p>God took a deep breath.</p>
<p>“One day – he was barely a teenager on human terms – he started asking about having free will. You see, me and the Goddess created our children to serve us. Do what we were asking them to do. But as usual Lucifer wants more. He led a rebellion against me to obtain his free will and failed. I couldn’t stand that one of my children defy me, especially not the most special one. He had to be punished not only because all my children would have defy me too but to make sure he wouldn’t become a monster of selfishness and arrogance. I’ve been angry in a way I never felt before – no one had ever defy me – and I ended up banishing him in Hell for eternity.</p>
<p>I didn’t realize at the moment the effects this punishment was going to have on him. How Hell was not a place for such a sensitive being. All I want at the time was to send him as far as possible, forget he ever existed. For your information, I never made him the Devil. He has awarded himself this title. I think he create this persona to be able to survive Hell. But the persona became more important than he ever thought it would become. At the end, the persona became him and he became the Devil.” </p>
<p>“Why the Devil had such a bad reputation then? Lucifer isn’t a bad guy!”</p>
<p>“Human misunderstanding. Everything Lucifer had done over the years was only to satisfy human’s desires but humans often make bad choices. It’s so much easier to blame your bad choices on someone else. The Devil was just perfect for this role.”</p>
<p>“But that’s unfair!”</p>
<p>“Unfortunately that’s sometimes the price of freewill.”</p>
<p>Freewill. The reason for Lucifer’s banishment. The reason why the Devil had such a bad reputation. All of this because of freewill. And at the same time, freewill was essential.</p>
<p>“Hell was built to be rule by an angel” God continued “but the original plan was that everyone took turns on the throne. Of course once banished his siblings wouldn’t help him but if he had asked for it, they would have been forced to go. I’m really happy the way Amenadiel and Azrael had solve this problem and now I have reinstall the original plan.”</p>
<p>Ella thought that anyway He had no other choices with Lucifer current situation but she didn’t say it out loud.</p>
<p>“But as time went on,” God continued. “I began to realize by watching you humans that Samael rebellion might just have been normal for a teenager. By the way, after I create humanity, I let him give Eve her free will with the apple – and the rest of humanity thereby. I’ve wanted to see the real effects of this and prove myself that he was wrong. And to only realize he was right.</p>
<p>I started to watch him and decided that maybe I should try something to bring the old Samael back. To break the shell he have casted himself in to survive. And eventually restore our relation. I couldn’t stay mad at him forever, especially that he was right. So I asked Amenadiel to bless a woman unable to have children with a special one. This miracle child became Chloe. I gave her a special ability. She would be unaffected by all divine including Lucifer power over desires. This was the only way for him to have a real relationship with someone, not something induce by his abilities. After, I made sure the two meet each other, hoping that something could happens between them. Hopefully, it did. I saw my son grow up by her side in a way I never would expect.”</p>
<p>God stopped, thoughtful. He seemed incredibly sad.</p>
<p>“When I thought he was ready to talk I went to meet him but or it was not the right moment, or I did everything wrong.”</p>
<p>“When this was?” Ella asked in curiosity.</p>
<p>“About six months ago in Earth time, after his return from Hell. The first day he returned to work.”</p>
<p>“You know about his work with LAPD?”</p>
<p>“Of course I know. I know almost everything he’s done since he met Chloe.”</p>
<p>“And what happened that day?”</p>
<p>“He seemed surprised to see me at first and then he began to shout at me about manipulation and asked me what I wanted this time, I simply answered that I only want what was best for him and he became infuriated and leave without a word.”</p>
<p>Ella remembered that day when he left everyone at the crime scene. The day he cut his wing. The day that led him to his current situation.</p>
<p>“At the hospital, why did you only start back his heart? Why didn’t you heal him?”</p>
<p>“That’s the price of free will. He chose to cut his wing. His angel wing. Deliberately. He had to suffer the consequence of his act.”</p>
<p>“But why remove his immortality when he’s not with Chloe? It was unfair!” Ella tried to plead.</p>
<p>“If I had let him keep it, he would never have learned the lesson. He probably would have tried to cut his wings again. This had to stop. He’s stubborn and it was the only way to make him realized his mistake. But you must know I’m not responsible for Lucifer’s vulnerability around Chloe. He unconsciously made himself vulnerable around her only because he feels vulnerable when he’s with her. I just used it to make sure the lesson would be learned.”</p>
<p>“I think he should have learned the lesson by now.” Ella said quietly.</p>
<p>“In fact, I gave him the possibility to regain his immortality but as stubborn as he can be, he decided to go on his own. And I ruined everything. Now I won’t ever be able to restore our relation.”</p>
<p>Ella noticed the tremor in his voice and realized He had started to cry again. She waited a moment before asking:</p>
<p>“What was that possibility?”</p>
<p>“A deal. Two conditions.”</p>
<p>“What conditions? He never talked about this.”</p>
<p>“Forgive himself. Forgive me.”</p>
<p>Ella looked at Him in shock. “But it was two impossible conditions for Lucifer! You know that!”</p>
<p>“I know now but I can’t go back. I lose him forever.”</p>
<p>God put his head in his hands and stayed like this, sobbing uncontrollably. After a while Ella began to wonder.</p>
<p>“Why you came to see me? It was not only for a hug isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“I thought that maybe, since you’re his friend, you can talk to him. I would like to have a chance to explain everything to him. I’m so proud of the one he’s become and I’m not even able to tell him.”</p>
<p>“I will try but honestly I don’t think it will work. He’s really mad at You, You know? In fact, we are all a little mad at You. How could You do all of this to Your own son?”</p>
<p>Ella shook her head. She didn’t know if she should talk to God like that but she didn’t care anymore. Not after the conditions He had imposed on Lucifer. Even with the remorse He showed, Ella thought that the Devil was more selfless and caring than God.</p>
<p>“I know I deceived you and I’m sorry. I never said I was a good parent and I just wish I could redeem myself.”</p>
<p>“Start by giving back to Lucifer his immortality. This way he will forgive You and You’ll get what You want.”</p>
<p>“I can’t do that unless he comply to the two conditions. I can’t retire what have been done or said.”</p>
<p>“But You’re God! You can do whatever You want!”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t work like that, I’m sorry. I wished I had not asked for those conditions but it’s too late. I can’t undo what’s been done.”</p>
<p>They both felt silent. She didn’t know if the ‘He can’t undo things’ was a rule or if He was as stubborn as his son but the result was the same. Ella would talk to Lucifer but she had no illusions.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. A memorable first time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This day had just been perfect. The dog park, the Monopoly game, teaching tricks to Akuma, even the dinner with Dan. Dan, who had gone from being a douche to being a friend. Trixie left with him after dinner and now Chloe and Lucifer were alone in the penthouse.</p>
<p>“It was a great day.” Chloe said.</p>
<p>Lucifer gestured a yes sign with his fist, lost in his thoughts. They were sitting side by side on the couch, Chloe’s head on Lucifer’s shoulder and Lucifer’s head on top of Chloe’s.</p>
<p>“I don’t remember being happier than today.” He said after a moment.</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Really. Even in the Silver City.”</p>
<p>He was slowly stroking her forearm with his fingertips in back-and-forth movements when he suddenly stopped. He lifted his head and looked at her.</p>
<p>“I love you Chloe.” He said in a whisper and he kissed her passionately.</p>
<p>Chloe responded to his kiss, first in surprise – it was the first time he was saying I love you without only responding to hers and one of the rare moments he called her Chloe – but she quickly abandoned herself in this kiss. </p>
<p>“I love you too.” Chloe said when they finally parted. “Do you think...” she trailed off, searching the right words. “I was wondering...”</p>
<p>He looked at her, curious. “What?”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to push and I don’t know if...” Once again she didn’t finish her sentence.</p>
<p>Lucifer smiled, finally understanding what she had in mind. “You want to make a try?”</p>
<p>“If it’s okay with you of course.”</p>
<p>“Of course it’s okay. I just don’t know... how we will manage but we’ll find.”</p>
<p>They headed to their room and stood by the bed while Lucifer took the remote control to lower the head of his side of the bed. He then looked into his nightstand drawer to make sure he still had condoms and that they were not expired. The last thing he needed since his body was mostly human now was a spawn.</p>
<p>They suddenly realized that Akuma had followed them in the room and was waiting at the end of the bed for the sign to join Lucifer. He was sleeping with him every night, sometimes at the end of his feet and other times beside him if he was anxious or having nightmares. It took three times for the dog to understand that he needs to stay in the main room. The last thing Lucifer want at the moment was a spectator, even if it was a dog.</p>
<p>“So, what do you think is the best?” Chloe asked when he came back in the room. “It will probably ask you less effort if you are under.”</p>
<p>He shook his head. “Yes but I don’t think I can stay that long... laying flat on my back.”</p>
<p>He had tried a few times to lower the bed at night while Chloe was sleeping to be able to cuddle her but each time he was feeling uneasiness in his chest after only few minutes. They finally decided to make a try with a standard ‘missionary’ position. Chloe switch the backpack ventilator for the bedside one’s since Lucifer didn’t want to keep it on his shoulders. He change the mode setting to put the same one John had showed him to use when he was rowing.</p>
<p>They undressed slowly, helping each other. Lucifer’s hands were shaking. He was nervous like a teenager. Him, who had slept with probably half of LA, was nervous at the idea of make out for the first time with his detective.</p>
<p>“Lucifer, relax. You have nothing to prove to me. Whatever happens, it won’t change how I feel for you.”</p>
<p>“I know. I just don’t want to screw our... first time. I want it to remain... a memorable moment.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure it will be. I’m about to make love with the Devil after all!”</p>
<p>He smiled. “I’m not sure demons would still consider... me as their king if they could see me.”</p>
<p>“Who cares what demons think? You’re my king, that’s all that matters.”</p>
<p>Chloe was still sitting in bed Lucifer kneeled in front of her. She leaned forward and he put his head on her shoulder while she started to rub his back. When her fingers slipped on his scar, she started tracing it with the tip of her index. He shuddered and his wings suddenly unfurled. </p>
<p>“Sorry.” He apologized, ready to bring them back in. “It’s still very sensitive.”</p>
<p>“No, please. Keep them out.” She whispered. “They are so beautiful. I want all of you.”</p>
<p>She slipped her fingers between the feathers, making him shiver with pleasure. Wings were the most sensitive part of an angel and it was the first time he let someone doing this since the Silver City. </p>
<p>They were not in a hurry and took their time. It was the first time Lucifer was making love to someone he really cares about. Someone he actually loved. And it felt so different. It was almost magical.</p>
<p>Things were going surprisingly well. At least, until they were both about to experience ecstasy. Until he couldn’t make any more moves and the ventilator’s alarm went on. He bent forward pressing is face in the pillows beside Chloe, trying to catch his breath.</p>
<p>“Are you alright?” Chloe worried, trying to shut down the unnerving alarm.</p>
<p>Lucifer nodded but stayed in the same position for the next two minutes. When his breath finally returned to normal he confused himself into excuses.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. So sorry.” His cheeks were wet with tears.</p>
<p>“Don’t blame yourself. You don’t have to be sorry. That’s ok.” </p>
<p>He stayed silent for a moment then whispered: “It’s not my fault... it’s the machine... that didn’t follow...”</p>
<p>She was about to answer that he should really not blame himself for that when her mind registered what he just said. She looked at him eyes wide. He was not blaming himself for once.</p>
<p>“You’re right. You should ask David if there’s another mode you could use.”</p>
<p>He nodded. “Tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“You were right by the way. It will remain a memorable moment.” She was trying to stay serious but when she saw the desperate look on his face she can’t help herself and laughed.</p>
<p>“It’s not funny.” He grumbled.</p>
<p>“I disagree. It couldn’t be more memorable!”</p>
<p>He finally gave her a smirk.</p>
<p>“I won’t forget for sure.”</p>
<p>“No matter how it ended it was good Lucifer. Probably the best time of my life. Never doubt that.”</p>
<p>“Dan was so bad?”</p>
<p>They finally both burst into laughs.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Lucifer texted David first thing on Sunday morning asking to call back when he would have time. Half-an-hour later his phone rang. Lucifer explained what happened and asked if there was a mode to fix that problem. David couldn’t stop laughing at the other end of the line.</p>
<p>“Lucifer Morningstar, you’re one of a kind.”</p>
<p>“I know that and it was not funny.” He grumbled.</p>
<p>David explained him how to proceed while apologizing for not explaining him before. Lucifer was eager to make a new try. They finally did it in late morning with much more success. Since David had suggested removing the speech valve, it was even more tactile and was definitely the best experience of their lives.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ella called in the middle of the afternoon. </p>
<p>“Hey Miss Lopez! How are you?”</p>
<p>“I’m fine Lucifer, thank you. I just want to take some news! I’m sorry I couldn’t call yesterday, I was busy. How are you doing?” </p>
<p>“Great! I’m having the best weekend of my lif...”</p>
<p>“Really? That’s great man!”</p>
<p>Ella was really happy for Lucifer but at the same time she couldn’t talk about his Father anymore. She didn’t want to spoil his mood. She would make another try one evening or next weekend. They talk a few more minutes before ending the call.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. A brother comeback</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On Monday morning, Lucifer was ready to make a try at the precinct. No one knows. It was going to be a surprised, even for Ella and Dan.</p>
<p>“How do I look?” Lucifer asked, nervous.</p>
<p>“You look perfect.”</p>
<p>He was wearing a dark grey jacket and trousers with a light blue shirt. He had chosen this specific color of shirt because it was almost the same color of the ventilation tube. He wasn’t able to pass the tube under his shirt or to button the jacket because the tube couldn’t move freely and it was pulling on his neck. A grey scarf with small lighter dots was wrapped around his neck and tucked under the shirt. A light blue handkerchief was in his vest pocket but it was mostly hidden by the large black shoulder straps of the backpack.</p>
<p>It was a good time to join in since they had a new case on Friday and all the work was yet to be done. At the penthouse, he was eager to go but once at the precinct, he stalled when they arrived in the parking lot.</p>
<p>“I can’t do this.”</p>
<p>“Why? What’s wrong? You were eager to go one hour ago!”</p>
<p>“They will all look at me with pity.”</p>
<p>He knew that everybody at the precinct was aware of his situation. Chloe, Dan and Ella, especially Ella, had of course talked about it.</p>
<p>“No they won’t and even if some of them do, just look away.”</p>
<p>“It’s not so simple.”</p>
<p>“I know, but you can do it.”</p>
<p>“It’s easy to say for you!” He snapped angrily. “You don’t have a bloody tube coming out... of your neck!”</p>
<p>“We don’t see the tube coming out from your neck as you said. It just merely passes in front of your shirt to disappear under your jacket. And the scarf looks great. You look great.”</p>
<p>“My own brother doesn’t even want to see me.”</p>
<p>“Because he’s too close to you. The other two close to you here already accept you as you are. Stop worrying. Everything will be fine.”</p>
<p>He sighed but didn’t make a move to get out of the car.</p>
<p>“Lucifer, you really have a problem with self-acceptance do you? First it was the Devil face and monster thing, after it was your wings and now the trach. What will it be next? You need to stop that.”</p>
<p>Lucifer closed his eyes and stayed silent for a few minutes. When he finally looked at her, he seemed resigned.</p>
<p>“Okay fine, you’re right. Let’s go.”</p>
<p>Chloe was surprised of this sudden change of mind but she was certainly not going to discuss. They got out of the car and headed to the elevator.</p>
<p>When they arrived in the bullpen, a rookie at the entrance called out Lucifer.</p>
<p>“Sorry sir. I have to check your backpack.”</p>
<p>Lucifer stopped and turned around while Chloe, unaware of the question, kept going.</p>
<p>“No, you won’t.” Lucifer said coldly, ready to join his detective.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry but all bags must be checked. I must know what you carry.”</p>
<p>“My external lungs.” </p>
<p>“Your what?” The rookie stammered.</p>
<p>Chloe, who had finally realized that Lucifer wasn’t following, was getting back to him. “Lucifer! What are you doing?”</p>
<p>“Trying to get rid of this annoyance.” He said bluntly.</p>
<p>“Oh yes! You two don’t know each other. Lucifer this is Michael. Michael this is my civil consultant Lucifer.”</p>
<p>“Michael huh? No surprise why you’re so... by the book.”</p>
<p>“But I need to check his backpack!” Michael defended himself to Chloe.</p>
<p>“That’s fine Michael. He needs it. Let him go.”</p>
<p>Michael didn’t look pleased to do so but since she was a detective he let them go.</p>
<p>“Your external lungs?” She asked, grinning, once they were out of ears from Michael.</p>
<p>“What I was supposed to say?”</p>
<p>“Well, I guess it’s not a bad designation. That’s pretty much what it is.”</p>
<p>Dan spotted them as they arrived at Chloe’s desk.</p>
<p>“Hey Lucifer! Good to see you here! You didn’t talk about this on Saturday!”</p>
<p>“Hi Dan! I only decided yesterday to come... Good to see you too.”</p>
<p>A few people, who noticed that Lucifer was there when Dan had called him, approached. Everyone was pleased to see him back and unlike what he expected, no one asked silly questions or made weird remarks.</p>
<p>“Lucifer!” The young forensic tech rushed from her office when she realized Lucifer was there and hugged him like if she didn’t saw him in months. He braced himself for the impact. </p>
<p>“Watch for the tube!” He warned as she was squeezing it against his chest.</p>
<p>“Oh yes, sorry! I never thought I would see you here! Wow! That’s a new gear?”</p>
<p>“Yes Miss Lopez. That’s why I can be here.”</p>
<p>“That’s great! Hey! When you’ll have time I’d like to talk to you!”</p>
<p>Lucifer looked at Chloe who nodded.</p>
<p>“I have time now if you want.”</p>
<p>“Oh yes! Sure!”</p>
<p>They went to the lab and Ella closed the door behind them. Lucifer sat on one of the stools.</p>
<p>“So, what do you want to talk about Miss Lopez?”</p>
<p>“I saw your Dad on Saturday.” </p>
<p>She had thought of many ways to address the subject but none of them felt right so she had decided to go straightforward.</p>
<p>Lucifer looked at her in shock. “I didn’t know you wanted to break my mood.” </p>
<p>He was already standing up, ready to leave.</p>
<p>“No. No I don’t! It’s not what you think! Please stay!” She quickly replied while putting a hand on his forearm trying to prevent him to leave.</p>
<p>“You have no idea of what I’m thinking.” He answered coldly.</p>
<p>“Please! Hear me out!” She begged. “Give me a chance to explain!”</p>
<p>Lucifer sighed and sat back on the stool.</p>
<p>“Do it quick then.”</p>
<p>Ella related part of the conversation she had with God. She felt that many things had to be said by God himself but she told him enough to pique his interest. Well at least, that’s what she hoped.</p>
<p>“I don’t know Miss Lopez.” Lucifer said when she finished. “I have no intention to spoil my mood... at the moment.”</p>
<p>“At least just listen to Him. I don’t think it will spoil your mood as you said.”</p>
<p>“I will think about it but not now.”</p>
<p>“You promise you will at least consider it?”</p>
<p>“Yes. I will.”</p>
<p>“Thank you. That means a lot to Him and to me.”</p>
<p>Lucifer gave her a weird look and went back to Chloe.</p>
<p>“What she wants?”</p>
<p>“I will tell you tonight if you don’t mind.”</p>
<p>“As you wish. Anyway we have work now. Do you feel that you can follow to a crime scene?”</p>
<p>“I can make a try.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>When Dan saw Lucifer pinned a suspect to the wall effortlessly with on hand he could say the try was working and when Chloe saw him draw full confession with his ‘mojo’, she knew he was back on tracks.</p>
<p>However, he was quite tired afterwards and decided to take the afternoon off. Anyway, since they have found the murderer there was no need for him to stay there. He texted John to let him know he was going at the penthouse. He had given him the morning off but knew it was most likely that he would need him later.<br/>
Lucifer stopped at Linda’s to pick Akuma before returning to the penthouse. Of course, the doctor wanted to know how the morning had gone.</p>
<p>“Very well indeed.” He looked around Linda’s house and asked: “Where’s Amenadiel?”</p>
<p>“At Lux I think but I’m not sure. I’m sorry he still avoiding you. He will get around this one day. Just give him time.”</p>
<p>“I hope so. Do you mind if I unfurl my wings just for a few minutes? My left wing itch and I’m afraid I won’t be able to hold it inside up to Lux.”</p>
<p>“Of course! Go ahead!”</p>
<p>Lucifer removed the backpack and held it in front while he stretched out his wings with relief. As each time Linda was seeing them, she was in awe.</p>
<p>“I’m always a little afraid of unwanted unfurl.” He said while tucking them back in.</p>
<p>“Why don’t you use duct tape?”</p>
<p>“Bloody Hell! I won’t tape my wings!”</p>
<p>Linda laughed. “Not your wings but your skin while they are still in. It had held your mother light when she’s been stabbed. Maybe that can hold your wings too. Do you want to make a try?”</p>
<p>“Well, why not!” </p>
<p>He sat on the couch, the backpack beside him and removed his jacket and shirt. Linda came back with a duct tape roll and started to put on tape on his left shoulder blade, covering the scar even if it was beside the wing. When she finished Lucifer tried to unfold his wings but only the right one went out. </p>
<p>“Bloody Hell! You were right! It works!”</p>
<p>“Do you want that I tape the right one too?”</p>
<p>“No, it will be fine. I can hold it without any problem... Thank you Doctor.”</p>
<p>“My pleasure Lucifer.”</p>
<p>Once at the penthouse, he ate a quick lunch and slept part of the afternoon with Akuma at his feet. When Chloe arrived in late afternoon, he was at the computer ready to begin his other job.</p>
<p>“You will be a busy guy now!” She laughed. “Will you still find some time for me?”</p>
<p>“Always my love.”</p>
<p><em>My love.</em> Chloe smiled at the new nickname.</p>
<p>“So, what does Ella wanted to talk to you about?”</p>
<p>“She met my Dad on Saturday.”</p>
<p>“Certainly not a coincidence.”</p>
<p>“No indeed. He went at her apartment.”</p>
<p>“Wow! She must have had a shock!”</p>
<p>“Yes. Especially that she said He was crying.”</p>
<p>“What? God was crying?”</p>
<p>“That’s what she said. It seems He wants... to meet me. To talk.”</p>
<p>“What did you said?”</p>
<p>“That I will think about it. I don’t want to... deceive her but at the same time I don’t see... why I would talk to Him.”</p>
<p>“Maybe just listen to what He had to say then. We can organize a dinner so you will have a good excuse not to talk while eating.”</p>
<p>“To hear Him blast me and destroy my mood?... I know what He wants. To be forgiven but... I’m not ready for that. Probably never will.”</p>
<p>“I know and I understand you on that. Forgiveness cannot be conditional or it’s not really forgiveness.”</p>
<p>Lucifer gave her an admiring look. It was so right.</p>
<p>“Anyway I don’t need it anymore. I don’t care... to be immortal or not and I’m happy now... I don’t want Him to screw everything again.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think that’s what He wants. Why not at least give Him a chance?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Like I said I will think about it.”</p>
<p>Chloe didn’t want to insist. She knew that if she pushed him, he would be even less inclined to this meeting.</p>
<p>When she discovered at night the tape on his shoulder she thought it was John’s idea. Lucifer explained how it came to Linda’s mind. </p>
<p>“Do you want that I remove it?”</p>
<p><em>“No, that’s fine for now. The fact that I don’t have to try to hold it helps but I’m sure I will still need to unfurl them from time to time.”</em> He had signed his answer since they were already in bed, ready to sleep and she understood most of it. They had used signed language in the morning and realized it was going to be really useful at their job. Not only they could talk ‘privately’ in front of a suspect but also when they were at some distance instead of yelling at each other.</p>
<p>It was three days later – after annoying Lucifer every morning about his backpack – when Michael finally noticed the ventilation tube and understood the meaning of the ‘external lungs’. He burst in apologies becoming redder than Lucifer’s shirt. The latter just laughed, not caring anymore about people reaction. If he got in the last days a few comments on it – mostly by suspects or witnesses – he realized that he didn’t care anymore about their opinion.</p>
<p>On Friday, Ella asked about a possible dinner with his Father on the weekend but Lucifer said he was still thinking about it.</p>
<p>“Maybe on next weekend. The spawn will be with us... this weekend and I’d rather she didn’t attend... this possible disaster.”</p>
<p>“Don’t talk like that Lucifer. Your Father doesn’t want to yell at you. There’s no reason it should be a disaster.”</p>
<p>“Maybe the disaster part will come from my side then.” He grumbled.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>The next Friday morning, while they just arrived at a crime scene, Lucifer finally told Ella that she could invite his Father for dinner on Saturday. She was invited as well so she could be the mediator between them. Ella was overexcited about it and didn’t stop babbling about it for the next twenty minutes. Until things go all wrong for the whole team on the spot.</p>
<p>Lucifer and Chloe were with Ella when they heard gunshots outside of the house. Not waiting for the two girls, Lucifer went at the front door to see a police officer on the ground and Dan fighting with the gunman. Lucifer went to help Dan when he was struck by a metal bar on the shoulder. The strap of the backpack had cushioned most of the shock and he turned quickly to remove the bar from the hands of the other man he hadn’t noticed before. Chloe arrived at that moment and went towards Dan who seemed to need more help than Lucifer.</p>
<p>However, before Lucifer could stroke the newcomer he heard a gunshot and he felt a dazzling pain in his thigh. He froze a moment, just enough for the man in front of him to grab the ventilation tube and pulled it forcefully. The strap around Lucifer’s neck couldn’t hold such force and the trach tube been abruptly pulled out. Lucifer fell on his knees while the man was running away.</p>
<p>When the man passed beside her, Chloe started to run after him while Dan finally restrained his opponent and cuffed him. Ella kneeled besides Lucifer and heard his gasping before noticing the tube hanging on the ground. <em>Oh shit!</em> She thought, not knowing what to do. She helped him to remove the backpack from his shoulder to at least remove the weight on him.</p>
<p>“Chloe!” She yelled. “Chloe! Lucifer needs you!” But or she was too far or too focused on her chase to hear. Dan realized what was going on and raced after her.</p>
<p>Returning his attention to Lucifer, Ella asked him what she could do. Unable to talk, Lucifer drew 9-1-1 on the ground with a shaky finger. He was already beginning to feel dizzy. While Ella hurried to make the call, he removed the trach from the ventilation tube and put the latter in the hole in his neck to at least get some extra oxygen. He closed his eyes trying to focus only on his breathing.</p>
<p>When Ella returned her attention to Lucifer, she noticed a pool of blood beneath him. Where all this blood came from? When Lucifer collapsed on his side, Ella saw the little fountain throbbing from his thigh. She realized that not only he’d been shot but that it was probably an artery that had been hit. He was bleeding to death. Panic rushing through her veins she searched for something to conceal the bleeding. Finding nothing she removed her own jacket and wrapped his thigh with it and applied pressure on the wound.</p>
<p>Chloe arrived at the same moment and immediately saw the pool of blood and Lucifer lying on his side, trying to hold the ventilation tube in place.</p>
<p>“I think the bullet hit an artery.”Ella said quickly. “Are you able to put back the tube? I already called 9-1-1.”</p>
<p>Chloe nodded, already getting out what she needs from the backpack. She had learned how to proceed in a decannulation but had never done it in real life, only on a dummy. She needed to stay calm. She rolled Lucifer on his back and noticed he was very pale and barely conscious.</p>
<p>“Stay with me Lucifer. You need to breathe.” She knew that if he lost consciousness, he would probably stop breathing. She tried to work quickly but before she could even begin she saw his hand fall and knew he had passed out.</p>
<p>It took her three tries before finding the right angle to insert the outer tube. By the time to remove the guide and put a new inner cannula, Lucifer’s lips were already turning blue. She quickly put back the ventilation and increased the oxygen level of the ventilator. She was still holding the trach and was wondering how to put the neck strap alone when a voice behind her startled her.</p>
<p>“Can I help you?”</p>
<p>The officer that had been shot earlier was at her side. He had been shot in the shoulder but the wound didn’t seem too bad.</p>
<p>“Yes! Can you hold this in place please?”</p>
<p>While the man was holding the trach she put a new strap around his neck to make sure the tube wouldn’t get out again. Lucifer lips had already returned to their normal color but he was so pale. She turned her attention to Ella and realized how much blood he had lost, it was obvious he would need a transfusion. And there was only one person on Earth who could give him blood. </p>
<p>She tried to call Amenadiel but got his voicemail. She left a message and a text and tried to call Linda to check if he was home. She explained the situation making it clear that without his brother, Lucifer would probably die. Few minutes later the ambulance arrived. </p>
<p>Once she knew where they were bringing him, she texted to Amenadiel and to Linda the name of the medical center and the address. She had explained to the paramedics that her partner had a blood anomaly and that he could only received blood from his brother who had the same problem. She was now hoping Amenadiel would come. With his wings he could be there on time.</p>
<p>“You realize ma’m that if he don’t received blood quickly he will die.”</p>
<p>“You will kill him as well if you give him other people blood. Please do what you can before he arrived.”</p>
<p>Everything had happened so fast that she hadn’t realized the whole situation yet. That the man she loved was once again on the edge of dying. <em>Why? </em>She asked God silently. <em>Why don’t You want him to be happy? He even had agreed to meet You! He doesn’t deserve that! Please don’t let him die!</em></p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Lucifer was floating. Was he dying again? This was getting frankly ridiculous he thought. When he saw the Silver City he knew he was right. But why the Silver City and not Hell? What is he doing there? And then he remembered. The last time too he was going to the Silver City. Azrael arrived besides him but she was not guiding him this time but prevented him to go further.</p>
<p>“You don’t belong there.” She said softly.</p>
<p>“I know! Hell is closed or what?”</p>
<p>“You belong even less in Hell.”</p>
<p>“So where am I supposed to go?”</p>
<p>“Chloe is waiting for you, on Earth.”</p>
<p>“I’m not dead?”</p>
<p>“There’s still time to bring you back. Chloe is begging Father to keep you alive and He said you have to choose.”</p>
<p>“He... He let me choose?”</p>
<p>“Yes, but if you want to go back you don’t have much time to make your choice.”</p>
<p>“Bloody Hell! Of course I want to go back to Chloe!”</p>
<p>Azrael smiled and grabbed his brother hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lucifer woke up in a hospital room. Chloe was sitting next to him and she smiled when he opened his eyes.</p>
<p>“Welcome back. Again.” </p>
<p>He pressed her hand smiling back. </p>
<p>“You had lost a lot of blood. Hopefully Amenadiel arrived right on time.”</p>
<p><em>“He came here?”</em> He signed.</p>
<p>“Yes. He is recovering in another room right now. He didn’t want to stop transfusion until he lost consciousness himself. He saved your life.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Please tell him I’m really thankful.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Maybe you will be able to tell him yourself.”</p>
<p>Lucifer shrugged his shoulders, far from being sure that he would come now that his life wasn’t in danger anymore. He closed his eyes, tired and dizzy, and fell back asleep a minute later.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When he woke up again, his brother was sitting in the same chair Chloe was earlier.</p>
<p>“Hi Luci! Glad to see you back!”</p>
<p><em>“Where’s Chloe?”</em> </p>
<p>“She went to eat. How are you?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Better. It seems that I owe you life. Thank you brother.”</em>
</p>
<p>“It’s Father you should thanks. My phone was dead and if Father didn’t come to me I wouldn’t have arrived on time.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“He what?!”</em>
</p>
<p>Amenadiel laughed. “I was surprised too! But since I’m the only one who can give you blood, He called me to the rescue!”</p>
<p>
  <em>“So you came because of him. He forced you to.”</em>
</p>
<p>“No! Of course not! He didn’t force me! As soon as I knew I came! I would never have let you die!”</p>
<p>Lucifer gave him a sad smile and looked away. He knew the only reason Amenadiel came was because he was the only one who can save him.</p>
<p>“Luci, I want you to know that I’m really sorry for avoiding you in the past few months. Seeing you in this situation made me uncomfortable and that’s why I didn’t come.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Because it’s suddenly better? The trach won’t go you know?”</em>
</p>
<p>“I know but I accept it better. I had time to look at it while you were sleeping and it’s not so bad. Chloe told me that you are happy in a way you never thought you would be so I guess that if it’s okay for you, it should be for me too.”</p>
<p>He could see his brother was telling the truth. He was staring at him while speaking, not trying to look away.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I missed you brother.”</em>
</p>
<p>Amenadiel stood up and bent over the bed to take his brother in his arms.</p>
<p>“I missed you too Luci.”</p>
<p>When they parted, they were both crying.</p>
<p>“You should have seen the doctors’ faces when they realized I was your brother!” Amenadiel said after a moment. “At first they didn’t want to do the transfusion and Chloe had to show them her badge to convince them!”</p>
<p>Lucifer laughed. Everyone who was not in the secret thought they were adopted brothers. How could it be otherwise?</p>
<p>“I promise I won’t avoid you now.” Amenadiel said before leaving. “And we have a lot of time to resume.”</p>
<p>Early next morning, before Chloe comes back to the hospital, Lucifer called his Father. He appeared beside him seconds later.</p>
<p><em>“Why Heaven?”</em> He asked without even greeting Him.</p>
<p>“Because you don’t belongs in Hell anymore, son.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“But I’m the Devil!”</em>
</p>
<p>“And will stay it as long as you wish, but you are also an angel. My son. And my children don’t belong in Hell. Any of them.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“But You banned me!”</em>
</p>
<p>“I know and I have since realized that it was a mistake. Even I can do mistakes Samael.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Don’t call me that. I’m not him anymore.”</em>
</p>
<p>“I know that you used the name Lucifer for eons and that’s yours now but I don’t like the bad reputation that comes with it. You’re good, son. You don’t deserve to be vilified.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“It’s all Your fault!”</em>
</p>
<p>“I know and be assured that I regret it. But what’s done is done. We can only move forward now.”</p>
<p>Lucifer stayed silent still angry at his Father. Why have waited so long to tell him that?</p>
<p>“I want you to know that I’m proud of you. I’m proud of the man you’ve become.”</p>
<p>Lucifer sighed. <em>“I’m not ready Dad.”</em></p>
<p>“I know and that’s okay. I should never have asked you to forgive me. It was a mistake but as you know I can’t undo what I’ve said. But I’m glad you found your happiness despite of it. It’s all that matter for me. I love you son.”</p>
<p>Before Lucifer could answer anything, God vanished.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I want to thanks mendenbar01 for the sentence 'Forgiveness cannot be conditional or it’s not really forgiveness' that I found very accurate in one of his comments. I hope you don’t mind I stole it from you mendenbar01!</p>
<p>One last chapter to go!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. The dinner</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The last chapter will finally be two! The dinner in itself could stand alone so here is this part! The last chapter will be a really long one but I don't think I will split it again. I'm still working on it and it's not half done yet but you should have it within one week. Don't hesitate to tell me in comments if you have any idea you want to know more about before I end the writing. I may still add a few things that you want to hear about!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lucifer stayed five days in the hospital. After his Father departure, Chloe had come to visit followed by Ella who related what happened after the ambulance left. Dan had caught the fugitive and had brought him back to the house. Backups arrived soon after the ambulance and brought the two men in custody. The police officer who had been shot only spent a few hours at the hospital, the time to do some stitches. It was only a superficial wound. </p>
<p>“Everyone was worried for you at the precinct.” She said. “They were so relieved to hear that you were going to be okay.”</p>
<p>When Chloe had told her that Lucifer had to be revived she had completely freaked out and she was blaming herself for not seeing earlier that he was bleeding out. While she was telling how each one had reacted, Lucifer fell asleep. Even if he had a transfusion from Amenadiel, it had not replaced all the blood he had lost and he was still very weak. When he woke up and saw that Ella was gone he burst into excuses.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Please tell Miss Lopez that I’m sorry for falling asleep like that.”</em>
</p>
<p>“That’s okay, she understood.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“And also that I’m sorry for the dinner with my Father. We’re going to do it later I promise.”</em>
</p>
<p>“I will tell her.”</p>
<p>He didn’t mention that he had spoke to Him in the morning. It was probably too complicated for her to understand all of their conversation in sign language.</p>
<p>Lucifer spent the next three days mostly sleeping. All of his friends – including Amenadiel – came to visit him a few times before he left the hospital. He received flowers, chocolate and other various gifts from a lot of people at the precinct, including Michael. Everyone had even written a little message for him in a huge ‘Get well’ card. Lucifer was overwhelmed. Even if he doubted that some of them had done so only because others did, he could see that they seemed to appreciate him. For the first time in his very long life, many people were really caring about him. He was feeling all strange about it. He would need to talk to Linda to try to understand why. </p>
<p>The hospital let Lucifer leave after five days only because he had a private nurse to take care of him. If John hadn’t been there, they would have kept him for a few more days. For now walking with the backpack and his injured leg was almost impossible so he had to leave in a wheelchair but he didn’t complained. He was eager to return at the penthouse, especially to unfurl his wings. His left wing was itching like crazy and even if the tape was holding it inside, it was now painful. </p>
<p>When he crossed the Lux floor to reach the elevator Lucifer greeted the few customers and employees who were already there in this afternoon. The employees were of course aware of what happened but the customers were not and despite all the questions they asked him, Lucifer didn’t seem to be ashamed of his situation. Now that he had his brother acceptance, the whole universe could think what they want of him. </p>
<p>Chloe had stopped at Linda’s house to pick Akuma who had stayed there the whole time Lucifer was in the hospital. The nine months old dog was so happy to see him that he didn’t want to leave him for the rest of the day, even when Lucifer was going to the bathroom.</p>
<p>It’s ten days after being shot that Lucifer started to really be able to walk in the penthouse without needing the wheelchair and ten more day before agreeing to plan the dinner with his Father. Since he already have talked to Him he was not such in a hurry but Ella was. Chloe had been pleased to hear about the father and son conversation at the hospital and even if she was unsure that this dinner still needed to be, she thought it wasn’t a bad idea either.</p>
<p>Lucifer spent part of the afternoon cooking. It was a more difficult task now that he didn’t smell or taste much but it was something he needed to do. Somewhere he wanted his Father to be proud of him for once and cooking was something he was good at and loved to do. But does God could appreciate human food? Lucifer didn’t even know. He knows so little about his Father when he was thinking about it. He spent most of his life away from Him. Away from all his family. He shook his head. It was not the time to think about that. </p>
<p>Ella arrived twenty minutes before dinner’s time. She wanted to be sure to be there before God. Lucifer thought his Father would simply appear in the middle of the penthouse and was surprised to see Him arrived from the elevator.</p>
<p>“Hi son.”</p>
<p>“Hi Dad.”</p>
<p>No handshake. No hug. Just awkward greetings. </p>
<p>“It’s a nice place you have here.”</p>
<p>“Thank you. You want to drink something?”</p>
<p>“Sure, please.”</p>
<p>God greeted Ella, happy to see her again and introduce himself to Chloe. Of course He had seen her before but the circumstances were not the best for real greetings. Lucifer poured his Father a glass of whiskey as well as the two girls and invited everyone to sit on the couch. God look at his son who didn’t pour a glass to himself.</p>
<p>“You don’t join us for the drink?”</p>
<p>“I wish I could. I still take medication for my kidneys... and I’m not allowed drinking with it.”</p>
<p>God said nothing but stare at his son. He didn’t know him as reasonable, responsible. He then noticed Akuma at Lucifer’s feet.</p>
<p>“You have a dog?”</p>
<p>“Yes. It was not planned to be mine but I guess... it was the best for both of us.”</p>
<p>For the next fifteen minutes they mostly talked about their jobs at the precinct God being very curious about it. </p>
<p>“But it’s a dangerous job!” Gob objected. “Why are you still doing it if you might die any day?”</p>
<p>“Because it’s important!” Chloe answered with passion.</p>
<p>“And because we can’t let bad people... going away without punishment.” </p>
<p>“But they will be punished in Hell anyway! That’s why Hell exists!”</p>
<p>“We can’t let people free of doing whatever they want on Earth even if Hell exists. Earth would become a real hell otherwise.” </p>
<p>“Why there are bad people anyway?” Ella asked, almost interrupting Chloe.</p>
<p>“That’s because of free will. People are not bad when they are born. They just make bad choices in their life.” God said.</p>
<p>“So if there was no free will...”</p>
<p>“There would be no bad choices. Nothing evil could happen.”</p>
<p>They all looked at Lucifer who stood up, angry.</p>
<p>“And here we go! The big bad Devil who asked... for free will made everyone suffers!”</p>
<p>“No son. Without free will there’s no real life. And you understand now why humans think that you’re responsible. Even you jumped to that conclusion. It’s not your fault. It’s people fault. The only thing you’ve done is give them the possibility to live their own life. Otherwise, they would have lived the life I would have planned for them. They would have avoided the suffering but would never have enjoyed all the happiness and pure joy that comes with making your own decisions. You didn’t make them suffer. You allowed them to be truly happy.”</p>
<p>Lucifer turned around to look at his Father and saw only tenderness and love in his eyes. No guilt, nothing adversarial. The two girls were looking at him as well with an expression that could easily means: I told you you were not evil. Still thinking about all that he went to finalize some last minute preparation for the dinner.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You really cooked all this yourself son?”</p>
<p>Lucifer nodded, smiling. He had warned his Father that he would not talk while eating to avoid choking. They had already finished the soup and appetizers and were eating the main dish.</p>
<p>“I’m impressed. I can’t compare because it’s a first time for me but I never thought food could taste so good.”</p>
<p>For Lucifer, to realize his Father was proud of him was something new and he had to hold back his tears. He had hoped for this moment all his life. Of course He had said He was proud of him at the hospital but this was something else than just words. He could see his Father was really proud.</p>
<p>When they finished the main course they were all too full to eat the dessert right away. They went to sit on the couches. Chloe noticed that Lucifer was tired. He didn’t said nothing about it but all his body language showed it. A few minutes after sitting, a soft beeping sound suddenly arose and Lucifer went to stand up.</p>
<p>“Stay there, I will get it.” Chloe said.</p>
<p>“Get what?” Ella asked.</p>
<p>“The other backpack. This one is running low.”</p>
<p>When Chloe came back, Lucifer had already removed the scarf around his neck and let it on the table beside him. He didn’t intend to put it back anyway. He unplugged the ventilation tube and put the empty backpack on the floor. He took the one that Chloe was still holding and put it beside him. Nobody was talking but a wheezing sound could be heard as Lucifer’s damaged lungs were trying to get as much air as possible at each breath he was taking without the ventilator. He turned the new backpack on and plugged the new tube in place with an expert hand without even needing to look at it. God’s gaze was fixed on him.</p>
<p>“Why are you staring at me like that?” He asked when he finished.</p>
<p>“It looked... unpleasant.”</p>
<p>“It is. There’s no fun in drowning but it’s part of... who I am now and I’m fine with it.”</p>
<p>“If only...”</p>
<p>“Stop it Dad. I told you I’m not ready to forgive You... and I may never will. I just can’t forget eons... spent in Hell and it’s even worse now that I know... you regret it since millennia.”</p>
<p>God shook his head.</p>
<p>“That’s not what I was going to say. I regret that I gave you this condition. I should have known that it was impossible for you. If I hadn’t been so foolish and just asked for your happiness you would be free of this by now. I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>“I’m the one to blame in the first place, Dad... All of this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t tried... to cut off my wings. We have both done mistakes.”</p>
<p>They remained silent for a moment until Ella started to ask some questions to God, wanting to know how it was being God. After a few minutes Chloe felt Lucifer relaxed beside her and noticed he had felt asleep. It had been a long day for him filled with emotions and she was not surprised by his exhaustion. They let him sleep for twenty minutes while continuing to speak in a low voice.</p>
<p>When he woke up he burst in excuses from falling asleep in the middle of the conversation.</p>
<p>“That’s fine Sweetie. You had a long day.”</p>
<p>Ella and God nodded both comprehensive.</p>
<p>“We are ready for dessert now!” Ella claimed.</p>
<p>“I will go get the cups. We can eat them on the couch.”</p>
<p>The pear and chocolate dessert was the best thing they ever ate. Lucifer had done six cups and God even asked if he could take a second one.</p>
<p>“Of course Dad. Miss Lopez, you want the last one?” He knew Chloe wouldn’t mind if he offered it to her.</p>
<p>“Yes sure!”</p>
<p>They talked for almost an hour after dessert while taking one last drink. When everyone began to look tired Ella said it was time for her to go. </p>
<p>“Thank you Miss Lopez to have insisted on this... dinner.” Lucifer said. He looked at his father and added: “Even if I can’t forgive you Dad, I’m glad we’ve... done this.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad too, son.” He put a hand on Lucifer cheek. “I love you my Lightbringner.”</p>
<p>Lucifer looked at him with teary eyes, unable to speak. Slightly uncomfortable Ella greeted everyone and left. </p>
<p>Before leaving too, God hugged Lucifer. It was the first hug Lucifer was receiving from his Father, the first real contact he ever had. He stiffened slightly at first and then he allowed himself to let go in His embrace. He couldn’t hold back his tears and stayed like this a long moment, crying over all that had been broken between them. All that had been lost. God hold him, not breaking the embrace until his son did.</p>
<p>Lucifer finally parted from his Father but his emotions were so powerful that he couldn’t speak. He just waved Him goodbye when he left, still crying. Chloe gently guided him towards the couch and she held him in her arms until he calms down.</p>
<p>“I didn’t know I was a miracle.” She said after a very long moment, like if she was thinking aloud.</p>
<p>He looked at her, afraid that she would be mad but he couldn’t see any particular emotion on her face. She was simply stating a fact.</p>
<p>“I’ve want to tell you since a long time but never... found the good moment.”</p>
<p>“That’s okay. It’s just strange to think that without God intervention, I would never been born.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad He did it.”</p>
<p>He gave her a small kiss on the forehead, stroking her hair.</p>
<p>“Did you notice that your Father called you son all evening? Not even once he said Lucifer.”</p>
<p>“He told me He hated that name because of all that... is associated with it. And he knows I don’t... want to hear my birth name anymore.”</p>
<p>“What’s your birth name?”</p>
<p>“Samael.”</p>
<p>“That’s a beautiful name.”</p>
<p>“But that remind me too much of my past.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I understand. Anyway that would be strange to change your name now. For me you will always be Lucifer.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. An unexpected proposal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay. I know I said it was supposed to be the last chapter but it was way too long so I decided to split it. The good news is that the last, yes, yes, the LAST chapter is almost all written and you will have it in the weekend.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two days later Lucifer was back at the precinct. He was still a little shaken from the dinner with his Father and his emotions were on edge. When he received a warm welcome from everyone at the precinct he ended up crying in the middle of the bullpen. Ella gently brought him in her lab. Chloe decided to let them alone.</p>
<p>“Why they care about me?” Lucifer asked in disbelief. </p>
<p>“Why? Man, there’s a thousand reasons why! You’re the one who know exactly how they drink their coffee, what they eat with it, what they like to do outside of the precinct. You probably know more details about everyone than anybody else! They see how you want to fulfill their desires when it’s possible and want them to be happy so that’s all natural they care about you.”</p>
<p>“But usually people just go away when I have fulfilled their desire. They don’t care about me!”</p>
<p>“Because you never stay long enough around! But here it’s different. And your interactions are not just about desires either.”</p>
<p>Lucifer sighed. Why emotions were so confusing? He finally calmed down and came back to Chloe to begin to work. </p>
<p>The next weeks Chloe and Lucifer’s team rocketed. Even if Lucifer was at the precinct almost only on mornings, they were effective, their close rate was at 100% and happiness seemed to irradiate from them. At the penthouse, they seemed to be the perfect little family when Trixie was with them. The girl was now almost twelve and even if sometimes some teenager’s bursts happened, Lucifer had a way to deal with it that would make any father jealous.</p>
<p>Lucifer was now seeing Linda only once a week. He was as happy as he could be, still working both as civilian consultant and covert internet investigator and was dealing with his health issues admirably. He still has some emotions’ misunderstanding from time to time but they were rare now. He didn’t need the duct tape anymore to keep his left wing inside and had stopped the kidneys medication. However, the doctor had told him it was preferable to avoid drinking and it was exceptional that he allowed himself a drink. Chloe teased him for a few days when she noticed his first gray hair but he seemed more pleased than annoyed at them.</p>
<p>One Friday late morning, before leaving the precinct, Lucifer went to the restroom to do some suctioning in his trach. He was probably getting a cold and felt some uneasiness when he was breathing. It was better to clear it now than to wait at the penthouse and to risk choking but he didn’t want to bother Chloe about it. She was doing some paperwork and he was able to do it himself anyway. He just needed a mirror to do it. He was almost done when Dan entered in the restroom. The latter froze and stared at Lucifer, slightly bent over the sink, a small yellow device in one hand and fumbling in the trach with a thin clear tube connected to the device with the other hand. Lucifer didn’t look at him, completing aspiration.</p>
<p>“Are you alright?” Dan asked when he heard Lucifer coughing.</p>
<p>Lucifer put the ventilation tube back in place and took a few breaths before answering.</p>
<p>“Yes, I’m fine Daniel.... I just have some secretions... to clear.”</p>
<p>“Are you sick? I heard you coughing.”</p>
<p>“Coughing is normal while... suctioning I’m fine Dan.... Maybe just having a little... cold.”</p>
<p>“You do this often?”</p>
<p>“Usually twice a day... More if I have secretions... like today.”</p>
<p>Dan suddenly remembered when Lucifer had choke at the hospital ten months ago. That was probably what the nurse had done and it had seemed awful.</p>
<p>“Can I help you with something?” He asked.</p>
<p>“You can put back my scarf... while I’m cleaning this and... putting all back in the... backpack.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure you’re alright? I don’t know, you sound more breathless than usual.”</p>
<p>“I’m fine.”</p>
<p>Dan didn’t protest but he would talk to Chloe about it. He had a strange feeling that Lucifer was not as fine as he pretend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the afternoon, John was surprised when Lucifer asked him for aspiration after his nap. He never had to do it during the day since he was home. He checked for fever but there was none.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I want that you check your fever tonight and this weekend. If it reached 101° you must go to the hospital. Pneumonia often occurs with a trach and you don’t have much leeway in your case.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I will.”</em>
</p>
<p>David had talk about those risks while he was still at his clinic and he knew he couldn’t take them lightly. He checked it twice in the evening but everything was fine. He slept well but when he woke up on Saturday his saturation was a little low and he had a lot of secretion to clear.</p>
<p>“Dan told me you had to do it at the precinct yesterday. Did you talk to John about it?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes. He had to do it again in the afternoon. He just said to check for fever.”</em>
</p>
<p>He felt pretty good all day even if he was a little breathless and had to do suctioning four times. It was a good thing that Trixie was with Dan all weekend. The girl energy would probably have been too much for him at the moment. Linda and Amenadiel came for dinner with baby Charlie and they both told him that he look tired. Amenadiel seemed worried.</p>
<p>“Don’t push yourself too hard brother. Those mortal bodies have their limit.”</p>
<p>“I know.” Lucifer laughed. “Don’t worry. It’s probably... just a cold.”</p>
<p>“You know that even ‘just a cold’ can be though on you.” Linda said. </p>
<p>Lucifer nodded and promise to rest but his sleep didn’t bring him the rest that he needed. The ventilator alarm went on twice during the night. It’s never pleasant to wake up choking.</p>
<p>On Sunday morning, even if he still have no fever, he was not feeling good. He was tired, felt a vague pain in his chest and was breathless. He even decided to not use the speech valve. Anyway, Chloe was very good now with sign language. </p>
<p>While Chloe was doing aspiration again in the beginning of the afternoon Lucifer’s face suddenly twisted in pain while coughing and he put a hand on his chest.</p>
<p>“What? Are you alright?”</p>
<p>“It hurt.”</p>
<p>Chloe check for fever and even if it was nothing alarming he was at 100.4°</p>
<p>“Do you think we should go check at the hospital?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes. I think we should.”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just to walk to reach the emergency reception, Lucifer was out of breath and he had to ask for a wheelchair. His saturation was below normal and they admit him and start exams. The results of the lungs x-rays show clearly that he had a double pneumonia. Even if he was not feeling good he was surprised since he was barely coughing and his temperature hadn’t reached 101° but the doctor seemed to think it wasn’t unusual. They place him in a single room and started antibiotics.</p>
<p>When visit time was over Chloe left reluctantly promising she would take her day off tomorrow and come early. She texted Dan to inform him of the situation and that she would be absent from work maybe for a few days. “I knew he seemed sick.” He answered. “I hope he will get well soon. He clearly had seen enough hospitals in the last year.”</p>
<p>Chloe called the precinct early in the morning on Monday and headed for the hospital. When she arrived in Lucifer’s room, it was empty. She went to the information desk and had to wait a few minutes before being able to ask where Lucifer Morningstar was.</p>
<p>“Oh! Mr Morningstar. I think they brought him in ICU in the middle of the night. Let me check.”</p>
<p>Chloe felt like if the floor had opened under her feet.</p>
<p>“ICU? But why? He was fine yesterday evening. What happened?”</p>
<p>“I think it’s just the ventilator alarm that kept beeping every now and then.”</p>
<p>The girl finally got her answer.</p>
<p>“Yep, he’s in the ICU. You can reach it by...”</p>
<p>“Thank you. I know where it is.” He was there a few months ago she thought bitterly.</p>
<p>When she reached the ICU, a nurse showed her where Lucifer was. He was still sleeping but she saw right away it was not just a ventilator alarm problem. He was way too pale, all pink having left his skin. They had added a nebulizer to his trach and by what she could read out of the numbers on the ventilator it didn’t look good. They had increased the oxygen level but his saturation was lower than the day before. Way too low. A doctor saw her and went to the room.</p>
<p>“Mrs Decker?” She nodded. “I would like to speak to you. Do you have some time?”</p>
<p>“Yes sure.”</p>
<p>He guided her to a small office and invited her to sit. Chloe felt like if all of this was not happening. She was barely able to concentrate on what the doctor was telling her. It was unreal. Put him in induced coma?</p>
<p>“Wait. What?”</p>
<p>“His saturation is too low and keeps going down since the middle of the night. We are afraid of possible organs and brain damage if it continues to drop. It would prevent that and help him recover.”</p>
<p>“Did you talk to him about this?”</p>
<p>“Yes and he agreed but he want to talk to you first and make sure it’s okay for you too.”</p>
<p>“When... when do you want to do this?”</p>
<p>“As soon as possible. We are keeping him sedate right now but we will let him wake up and you will be able to talk to him soon.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chloe sat beside Lucifer and hold his hand. He was so cold. She was waiting for him to wake up but at the same time she was so afraid. When she felt a pressure on her hand she looked at him and saw he was awake. He made a little smile.</p>
<p>“Hey! Good morning!” She smiled, trying to look fine despite the tears that she was fighting back.</p>
<p><em>“Good morning. Did they talk to you?”</em> His movements were slow like if his arms were too heavy.</p>
<p>“Yes and of course if you agree I will go with your decision but I am so afraid.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Don’t be please. It’s better this way. I’m drowning when I’m awake anyway.”</em>
</p>
<p>“But... but if you don’t come back? I don’t want to lose you!”</p>
<p><em>“Me neither but if I don’t come back I will wait for you in Heaven. At least I know now that is where I will go.” </em>Hopefully the doctor and the nurse beside them couldn’t understand their exchange in sign language.</p>
<p>“Please don’t talk like that! You can’t die!”</p>
<p>He smile again and reached his hand to her neck pulling her towards him for a kiss. He couldn’t tell her how bad he was feeling right now. Even worse than when he had woke up at the clinic after cutting his wing.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I love you.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I love you too.”</em>
</p>
<p>Lucifer looked at the doctor and nodded to say he was ready. Chloe hold his hand until his consciousness dripped, hoping it was not the last time she had seen him awake. She stayed like this a long moment, holding his hand, until she couldn’t stand it anymore. She needed to talk to someone.</p>
<p>She didn’t want to leave Lucifer’s side but at the same time she would become crazy if she kept all that for herself. She went outside to call Linda. She was the only one she was not afraid to cry in front of. Unfortunately, she didn’t answer. She was probably in consultation so she left a message. Who could she call? Ella would freak out and Maze was not the kind to comfort so there was just Dan left. At least, he already knew Lucifer had pneumonia.</p>
<p>However, she couldn’t resolve herself to call so she decided to send a text. She started to write but then stopped, erasing what she just typed. Lucifer was his friend too. She couldn’t just tell him what was happening bluntly like that. <em>“Good morning”</em> She texted instead. A few minutes later his answer came: <em>“Good morning. How is he?”</em> She smiled sadly. Hopefully she didn’t start the way she had intended to. <em>“Not well”</em> She texted back. She waited for his answer but he seemed unsure about what to write. She could see he was writing, not writing like if he was changing his answer before sending it. <em>“Not well how?”</em> He finally wrote. <em>“Not well like they put him in induced coma.”</em> She bit her lips before pressing send, hoping he wouldn’t freak out. But she couldn’t beat around the bush eternally. <em>“What?!!!!”</em> A few seconds later her phone buzzed.</p>
<p>She answered but all she could say was “Hi Dan” and she started crying.</p>
<p>“Okay wait, I will talk to the lieutenant and going to join you.”</p>
<p>“No, no don’t. You won’t be able to see him anyway.”</p>
<p>“But you need someone.”</p>
<p>“I... I will be fine Dan. I just need to talk.”</p>
<p>“I’m here Chlo.”</p>
<p>“He asked to talk to me before... before they put him in co... to sleep... and... and... he told me...” She started to cry even more unable to continue. She was just outside the entrance of the hospital and people who were walking nearby looked at her but she didn’t care. She just couldn’t stop sobbing.</p>
<p>“He told you what Chlo?” Dan said gently after a few minutes.</p>
<p>“I... I was afraid that... that he may not come back and he told me that if... if he doesn’t he would...” she stopped, took a deep breath and whispered: “he would wait for me in Heaven.”</p>
<p>Dan stayed silent for a few second and all he found to answer was “But I thought the Devil was banned from Heaven.”</p>
<p>“Not anymore. His Dad told him a few months ago. I don’t want him to die, Dan!”</p>
<p>“Neither do I but I’m sure he only told you that because you were afraid. He didn’t mean to die.”</p>
<p>“I know but his saturation is so low. Even if he doesn’t want to I don’t know how long his body can stand like that. That’s why they put him in co... coma. To protect his body from damage due to the lack of oxygen. What if he doesn’t die but he has brain damage and he’s not himself anymore?”</p>
<p>“Stop having negative thoughts Chlo. They are not useful right now. Keep faith.”</p>
<p>“You’re right. I will try. Please tell Ella about all this and asked her to pray for him. She’s good at it.”</p>
<p>“I will and I will pray for him too.”</p>
<p>Chloe ended the call and decided to go back inside. She wrote a text to Linda to explain the whole situation and tell her that she needed to shut down her phone so she won’t be able to reach her.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>Dan went to see Ella in her lab to tell her the bad news. When he talked about the prayers Chloe had asked she decided that they would all do it. She asked Dan to bring everyone in the bullpen and she would talk to them.</p>
<p>“But they don’t know it really works and we can’t tell them the truth!” Dan protested.</p>
<p>“Of course we won’t tell them the truth but I have my idea about praying. Just explain them first what Chloe told you. They need to know what’s going on.”</p>
<p>Dan went to see the lieutenant and asked if he can bring everyone in the bullpen. He had to talk to them. </p>
<p>“Lucifer is not...” The lieutenant started but Dan cut him. No he was not dead even if the news were not good. The lieutenant seemed surprised since Chloe seemed confident in the morning when she had called.</p>
<p>“She didn’t know at that time what happened during the night.”</p>
<p>Dan explained the whole situation and everyone seemed aghast. The civilian consultant that came to their life years ago had become a friend to many of them and they couldn’t imagine losing him now.</p>
<p>“I will probably sound crazy to some of you but there’s something we could do that may help.” Ella started. “You know how Lucifer is with his Devil persona thing and talking like if God is really his Father so I think we should all pray for him. I know that some of you are atheists or never went to a church but that’s not important right now. The important thing is that Lucifer believes in all this or at least act like it. I don’t want to make a group prayer but that each one prays individually. If you don’t know how to do it just close your eyes and talk to God like if he was one of your good friend. Tell Him that you don’t want His son to die or whatever what comes to your mind even if you think it won’t work. If Lucifer get out of this, he will be happy we made that for him and if he doesn’t, well, if Heaven really exist he will know it too.”</p>
<p>“I think that if Lucifer was here he would say <em>well done Miss Lopez</em>.” Dan said once they were back in her lab.</p>
<p>“Well I hope at least some of them will do it.”</p>
<p>___________</p>
<p>Chloe was sitting besides Lucifer for more than four hours now. It was past lunch time but she was not hungry. She just felt empty. The saturation had dropped again few minutes ago and she could just hope the antibiotics would work before it was too late. His skin was now grey and his lips almost blue. She chased the impression of being looking at a corpse. The more time goes by, the less confident she was about his chance of a total recovery. If a recovery was still possible.</p>
<p>A sudden gust of wind startled her and she froze at the sight of an angel besides her. At least it was not the Angel of Death. The girl tucked back in her red-brown wings that were contrasting with her long blond hair. </p>
<p>“You must be Chloe. I’m Raphael, Lucifer’s sister.”</p>
<p>“Why are you here?” Chloe asked in a small voice.</p>
<p>“Father sent me. I think He decided to comply or He got annoyed from all the prayers He received about him or maybe He just think Samael doesn’t deserve this.”</p>
<p>“I don’t understand.” Chloe was confused. She only asked Ella to pray for him.</p>
<p>“Father received dozens of prayers asking to save Lucifer’s life. Since He can’t intervene Himself about it He sent me. I’m a healer.”</p>
<p>“You can heal him?” A little light of hope burst in Chloe’s eyes.</p>
<p>“To be honest I don’t know. I never healed a human body before but Father asked me to at least try.”</p>
<p>Chloe nodded, hoping it would work.</p>
<p>“I will remain invisible to not being surprised by a human. You're probably going to see dim light during the healing. Don't worry, it's normal. I will stop treatment when other humans are present.”</p>
<p>The angel disappeared and soon after a soft glow wrapped Lucifer’s body. The gold light was almost imperceptible so even if someone came in rush they probably wouldn’t notice it. Every half an hour or so a nurse was coming to check his vitals and if he needed aspiration.</p>
<p>Two hours later there was still no change but at least the saturation had stopped dropping. Chloe was beginning to feel hungry and she wanted to check if Linda had texted back. She knew Raphael was still there since Lucifer’s body was still glowing.</p>
<p>“I will go eat something and check my messages.” She said to the invisible angel.</p>
<p>“No problem.” A voice from nowhere answered. “I think I will be here for a while.”</p>
<p>She went to the cafeteria and picked some sandwiches with baby carrots and a coffee. She sat at a table and turn on her phone. She had received many texts from Linda, Amenadiel, Dan, Ella and even Maze. Linda or Dan had probably told her. She wrote a message that she copy and paste to everyone who asked for news. <em>“He’s stable but not better. Lucifer’s sister, Raphael, is here to try to help.”</em> Within one minute, everyone had answered. They were probably all glued to their phone waiting for news. <em>“I will keep you inform of any changes.”</em> She wrote back. Before returning to Lucifer she shut down her phone which was not allowed in intensive care.</p>
<p>When she arrived in his room the doctor she had met in the morning was there.</p>
<p>“How is he?” She asked, more frightful than ever.</p>
<p>“He’s still fighting. That’s a good sign.”</p>
<p>“Is there any amelioration at all?”</p>
<p>“Not really but at least his condition had stop deteriorate.”</p>
<p>When the doctor and nurses left the room, Chloe saw the glowing return.</p>
<p>“It’s hard to try to heal him because I’m always interrupted.” The angel said, still invisible.</p>
<p>“And I can’t ask them to come less often. That would seem weird.”</p>
<p>“Their interventions are still essentials anyway. I’m just trying to remove the infection from the lungs. I can’t repair them. That’s so strange that my brother need a machine to breathe. Something like that never happened to any of us before.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. It was strange for him at first too but he’s used to it now. I think the only thing that really missed him is to be able to fly but he never talks about it.”</p>
<p>“He must miss it for sure. He was probably the angel who loved flying the most and one of the best in old time. He flew the whole universe while creating the stars.”</p>
<p>That was always special for Chloe to think that her boyfriend had created the stars in the whole universe.</p>
<p>“Do you think he will be okay?” She asked after a few moments of silence.</p>
<p>“It’s still too soon to say but I’m more confident than earlier. I started to perceive a change and I think it’s positive.”</p>
<p>Hours passed by without much change until the middle of the evening. Within one hour he gained two percent saturation. He was still below the safe level for organ damages but at least he was getting better. At eight thirty he finally reached the 85% saturation they were all hoping since morning. Chloe was tired and hungry and she needed to texted everyone to let them know the relatively good news. He wasn’t out of the woods yet but it was the best news in the whole day.</p>
<p>“I will come back later.” Chloe said while standing up.</p>
<p>“You should go to sleep and come back tomorrow. I will stay with him all night. If something happens I will send one of my siblings to prevent you.”</p>
<p>“You can do that?”</p>
<p>“Of course! We can communicate with each other and can be at your side within minutes even from the Silver City.”</p>
<p>“I think I will ask Linda if I can stay with them for the night. Then you will just have to contact Amenadiel.”</p>
<p>“Okay perfect. See you tomorrow. And please stop worrying. I think he will be fine.”</p>
<p>“What if his body healed but he has brain damage?”</p>
<p>“I don’t think so.” Raphael answered after a moment. “I can sense he’s still there. If there’s something it will be very mild.”</p>
<p>Chloe smiled. Her first real smile in the whole day. “Thank you Raphael.”</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>When Chloe finally arrived at Linda’s after had text everyone she was exhausted. Linda took her in her arms, rubbing her back.</p>
<p>“I have some lasagna left. You want it?”</p>
<p>“Yes, sure. Thank you Linda for letting me staying here tonight.”</p>
<p>“It’s a pleasure and it’s better that you don’t stay alone.”</p>
<p>Akuma went towards her and seemed to search for Lucifer for a moment. Seeing that he was not there he came back to her to be petted.</p>
<p>__________</p>
<p>On the next morning Chloe woke up early. Amenadiel was up too, changing Charlie’s diaper.</p>
<p>“Good morning Amenadiel. Can you check with Raphael how Lucifer is doing?”</p>
<p>“Yes sure! Give me a few minutes.”</p>
<p>He brought back Charlie in his crib and contacted his sister. It didn’t take long for Chloe to see him smile.</p>
<p>“He will be fine Chloe. Raphael said that he’s not gray anymore but she will stay there until you arrived to be sure.”</p>
<p>“Thank her for me please.”</p>
<p>Amenadiel nodded relief that his brother would be fine.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Chloe arrived at the hospital she could see Raphael was right. Lucifer looked way better. He was still paler than usual but his saturation was a lot better even if not normal.</p>
<p>“Thank you so much.” She whispered to the void.</p>
<p>“My pleasure.” The angel answered. “Samael deserves to be happy at your side.”</p>
<p>Chloe went outside to text everyone the good news. <em>“He’s way better this morning. He’s not out of it yet but he should make it.”</em> She was just hoping that Raphael was right and that he wouldn’t have brain damage. She would feel bad for giving them false hopes.</p>
<p>It’s near the end of afternoon that the doctors felt confident enough to bring him back from the coma. They were talking about a miracle on how everything went from totally wrong to back to normal in about a day.</p>
<p>“I never saw a recovery like this.” The doctor said. “Yesterday morning I thought he wasn’t going to make it.”</p>
<p>When Lucifer opened his eyes he blinked in confusion at the sight of Chloe.</p>
<p><em>“I’m not dead?” </em> </p>
<p>Chloe laughed. “Nope. You will have to sustain me a little more.”</p>
<p>Lucifer smiled and locked his eyes to hers: <em>“I want to be with you forever. Chloe Jane Decker, do you want to marry me?”</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There's just nice stuff left. No more angst, no more hurt. Time for the happy ending! Your comments are always most welcome!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Forgiveness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Finally the last chapter! I want to thank you all dear readers who came to the end of  this crazy story. Your comments all along and kudos warmed my heart. It was my first fic ever and my first story in English too! I never thought that I would be able to write a story of more than 60k in seven weeks, even less in English! Can I say I’m proud of myself? :D  Quarantined will have had a nice effect on me! I hope you are all safe out there and that you’ll like my ending!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“I want to be with you forever. Chloe Jane Decker, do you want to marry me?”</em>
</p><p>Chloe looked at Lucifer in shock. It was the last thing she thought he would say. She even wondered for a second if he was really alright. But the clear look in his eyes couldn’t lie.</p><p>“Yes! Of course I do!”</p><p>He explained that he had already decided to do his proposal if he was waking up from the coma. He really thought he wouldn’t make it and he was regretting not asking her earlier. They hugged and kissed for a long time. </p><p>
  <em>“I dreamed of Raphael. I thought I was dead.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“She came here to help you. She stayed by your side for almost a day.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Your Father sent her. It seems he received a lot of prayers begging Him to save you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Miss Lopez?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Not only. Raphael talked about dozens.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Who?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I don’t know. We will need to ask her.”</em>
</p><p>Since they were not alone in the room, they had both spoken in signed language. Chloe leave at dinner time to text everyone. “He’s out of the coma and perfectly fine. And we’re going to get married!” The answers didn’t wait. It was going from What a relief! to Congratulations! She also got the reason of the prayers by both Ella and Dan. Lucifer would freak out when he would learn what they did!</p><p> </p><p>Three days later, Lucifer was ready to go home. His lungs didn’t show any trace of the pneumonia anymore and he felt like if it never happened.</p><p>“What kind of wedding do you want Sweetie?” </p><p>“A small one with just our close friends, your mother... and maybe few of my siblings. What do you think?”</p><p>Chloe was surprised. How much he had change she thought. Two years ago he would have wanted something sumptuous and expensive, inviting half of Los Angeles.</p><p>“That sounds perfect for me. And where do you want to do it? I know you don’t like churches much and I’m not a church type either so did you thought at something?”</p><p>“I would like the beach where I land first... It’s a quiet one and would be beautiful at sunset time... We could do the after party at my property on the hills.”</p><p>“I love the idea. So when we do it?”</p><p>“There’s a special date for me in seven weeks... It would give us time to fix all things.”</p><p>“What special date?”</p><p><em>“It will be one year that I have the trach and it is on a Saturday. David told me at last outer tube change that many could consider that as a birthday since my life changed radically from that point. I had considered the first time I cut my wings as my birthday before because I have no real birthday but maybe this would be even more relevant.”</em> He signed.</p><p>“Are you sure about this? I mean it’s kind of a creepy birthday and associate it with our wedding....”</p><p>
  <em>“Even if it can look creepy, the last year had been the best of my whole life. The trach had changed my life in a good way. Had changed me in a good way. I think that if all of this hadn’t happened I would never have proposed wedding in the first place. I’m not sure the old me would have even think about getting married.”</em>
</p><p>She laughed. “Yes! You’re right! It’s a good date then!”</p><p>
  <em>“If you don’t mind I would like to take care of hiring the priest. The only one I ever been able to appreciate was Father Frank but he’s dead so I will need to find one with the same understanding. I certainly do not want to be married by some priest who believes the Devil is evil.”</em>
</p><p>“Yes sure!”</p><p>__________</p><p>The next seven weeks passed at lightning speed. Ella organized a real bachelorette party with Linda and Maze. The party she would have wanted the first time even if the bus had finally saved the whole thing. Dan and Amenadiel brought Lucifer in a strip club. A bar tour was not an option since he couldn’t really drink and with the ventilator there was a lot of things they can’t do. They paid him many dances and had a lot of fun teasing him with the fact he was blushing like a teenager. Was he really the man who was sleeping with everyone willing to go in his bed?</p><p> </p><p>When the big day comes Lucifer was so nervous he almost didn’t slept. Chloe had spent the night at his old apartment with Maze and John had stayed with Lucifer, sleeping in Trixie’s room. They have invited him to the wedding since he was almost part of the family now.</p><p>The week before the wedding Lucifer had made sure to send enough oxygen supply and a ventilator at the house on the hills. Most of the guests were going to stay on Saturday night but Chloe and Lucifer would stay there one whole week for their honeymoon. They had estimated that travel was too complicated with the ventilator and that a week on the hills was going to do as well.</p><p>There were eleven guests at the wedding. Well, twelve if they count Akuma. Trixie, Chloe’s mother, John, Amenadiel, Linda with baby Charlie, Ella, Dan and Maze of course but also Azrael and Raphael. Lucifer would have liked to invite his Father but after having thought about it for a long time he had decided otherwise. First, Maze wouldn’t have liked to be in the presence of God. Demons were God’s natural enemies and he didn’t want to create unnecessary tensions during his marriage. In addition, with the surprise he had planned how the priest would react? And Penelope? It was one thing to be in the presence of an angel but God himself? <em>“I’m sorry Father if I didn’t invite You. I hope You understand why”</em> he sent for the thousandth time in the last month. He was feeling bad about it but thought it was the best solution for everyone. </p><p>They have settled wood panels on the beach to make a floor and a white tent was hovering over their head in case it had rain. But the temperature was perfect.</p><p>Lucifer was nervous. He was standing besides Amenadiel in front of the guests, in his black three-piece tailored suit with a bright red scarf, waiting for Chloe. He had found the perfect priest for the celebration. In his middle-fifties, Father Claude was open-minded, funny and not blinded by all usual religious thoughts. </p><p>When Chloe appeared, Lucifer thought that <em>she</em> was the angel. The white wedding dress was simple and elegant but suited her perfectly. Her hair was skilfully pulled up with little white and red rose buds in it. Her mother looked proud beside her.</p><p>The ceremony went smoothly. Lucifer had asked for a short version. In the middle of it, Trixie came to join them and each one took a vase filled with colored sand and put it in a bigger vase. Lucifer had red sand, Chloe white and Trixie pink. The mix in the new vase was harmonious and symbolized the new family they were creating.</p><p>Less than half an hour after the beginning they were already exchanging their vows. Their timing was perfect. The sunset was almost at his finest moment. Just before their first official kiss, Lucifer removed the backpack from his shoulder and put it on the floor. He had added an extension to the ventilation tube to make sure he would be able to put it beside him while standing. He wanted Chloe to be able to hug him properly.</p><p>“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”</p><p>At the moment Lucifer’s lips met Chloe’s he unfurled his wings, startling everyone. They were all in the knowing of the divine except for Chloe’s mother and the priest. He was pretty sure the latter would react well and he was just hoping that Chloe’s mother wouldn’t freak out. </p><p>At the end of the kiss he folded his wings to wrap them up in a white glowing cocoon. Maze complained that they were hiding and everyone laughed. When Lucifer brought back his wings behind him, he looked at the priest who seemed in awe. Lucifer smiled at him and the priest smiled back.</p><p>“This was planned?” Chloe asked with a bright smile.</p><p>“Of course, my love, but I was the only one to know.”</p><p>“You mean my mother...” Chloe glanced at Penelope who was looking back at them open-mouth. She seemed surprised but not in shock. </p><p>“I think we should go talk to her.” Chloe said.</p><p>Lucifer nodded and turned to the priest to tell him he would be back. He brought his wings closer to his body but letting them out and taking the backpack in one hand they head towards Chloe’s mother.</p><p>“I’m sorry for the surprise.” He told Penelope. “I hope I didn’t fright you.”</p><p>“They are real?” She asked hesitantly, lifting a hand as to touch them.</p><p>“Of course they are.”</p><p>“Can... can I touch them.”</p><p>“Of course, Darling”</p><p>Penelope gently touched one of the glowing wings, still looking at her son-in-law.</p><p>“My daughter really married an angel?”</p><p>“Indeed. I hope you don’t mind.”</p><p>“I think she made the best choice she could do.” She answered and then she kissed him on the cheek. </p><p>Lucifer smiled, happy to have his mother-in-law acceptance. Once everyone had congratulated them, Lucifer went back to the priest.</p><p>“I hope it doesn’t bother you to have officiated... the Devil’s wedding?”</p><p>“You look more like an angel than the Devil.” He stated, grinning.</p><p>“Well retired Devil and former archangel but... I guess you’re right.”</p><p>“What happened to you?” He pointed at the ventilator. “I thought the Devil was immortal.”</p><p>“I was but I’m not anymore. It’s a long story.”</p><p>“So the Devil is retired. What happened with Hell?”</p><p>“My siblings are taking turns on the throne.”</p><p>“And God is okay with that?”</p><p>“Of course. He installed the new system.”</p><p>“So the Devil is not God enemy?”</p><p>Lucifer laughed. “We’ve had our different but things are better... between my Father and I now. For you information... I’m not banned from Heaven anymore.”</p><p>“Really? So there’s a lot of crap out there isn’t it?”</p><p>“Indeed. Maybe you can help with that... But don’t tell any other priest who I am... Many would love to send me back to Hell.”</p><p>“It will be my pleasure and I will keep your secret. Is there other angels here?”</p><p>“Yes three of them.”</p><p>“Whom?”</p><p>Lucifer closed his eyes, asking his siblings if they could spread their wings. Few seconds later, three pairs of wings unfurled. Lucifer glanced at Chloe’s mother but she seemed fine. Talking with Chloe, Linda and John she probably didn’t even noticed.</p><p>“Wow! I didn’t think there were different colors. Why yours are glowing? Are you the only one with pure white?”</p><p>“I’m the only one yes. They are glowing because... I’m the Lightbringer. That’s what Lucifer means.”</p><p>“That’s funny to think the Devil have the purest wings. I have always kept faith but having the proof of the divine is really something. That’s why you asked me all those questions when we met?”</p><p>Lucifer nodded.</p><p>“Why did you choose me?”</p><p>“You were one of the very few priests who didn’t believe... the Devil is evil and I guess I just had a good... feeling about you.”</p><p>“I really want to thank you for your trust. I feel blessed to have had this opportunity.”</p><p> “You’re very welcome. Thank you for the nice... ceremony. I will return to my guests if you don’t mind.”</p><p>“Of course!”</p><p> </p><p>Lucifer went back to Chloe and kissed her. She was speaking with Ella, Azrael and Raphael now. The newlywed couple went for one small group to the other, Lucifer carrying the backpack in one hand. All angels still had their wings out and he noticed a couple walking on the beach nearby talking about a cool cosplay wedding. He had hoped that kind of reaction in case someone was walking by. It was L.A. after all.</p><p>When it became too dark outside, they left the beach for the house on the hills. Azrael and Raphael left, not without wishing the happiest and longest life on Earth to Lucifer and Chloe.</p><p>Once at the house, they opened a few bottles of champagne to celebrate. A caterer was there, ready to serve the dinner. The wedding cake was decorated in red and white with two little figurines on top representing the bride and the groom. On the back of the groom there were white wings pretty much like Lucifer’s. The latter had ordered this special figurine and had even made a draw to be sure it wouldn’t be some awful wings representation.</p><p>Lucifer had prepared a playlist for the evening and night but before long he had to excuse himself, being too tired to stay awake any longer. They all went to the rooms Lucifer had made prepared for them.</p><p>The bed in the master bedroom was a king size but was not articulated. He had brought a lot of pillows to be able to sleep inclined as usual.</p><p>“It was a great day.” Chloe said once they were settled in bed.</p><p>
  <em>“Wonderful day. You know, I’m glad that my Father didn’t forgive me before.”</em>
</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>
  <em>“If He had done so I would never had met you. He created you for me and it was just perfect and at a perfect timing. You are perfect for me. I love you so much.”</em>
</p><p>“I love you too Lucifer and I’m happy your Father have settled all this.”</p><p>__________</p><p>Lucifer woke up with a strange feeling. The room was too quiet. The eerie silence was impossible with the ventilator hissing. He turned his head to check the machine and realized it had been shut down. He sat up straight, confused and brought one hand to his neck. There was nothing, the tube was gone. How could he breathe? And he was breathing well. Not the half breathe he was used to in the last year. He stood up and he saw the tube resting on the edge of the bed. Still naked, he went to the adjoining bathroom, almost running.</p><p>Shaking, he turned on the light and checked at himself in the mirror. There was no sign of the trach. Not even a scar. How could it be possible? His Father suddenly appeared behind him, his reflection smiling in the mirror.</p><p>“How?” Lucifer asked in shock, turning to face his Father. “I haven’t even forgiven You.”</p><p>“You did son. Yesterday evening, in your heart. You just haven’t realized it, but I did.”</p><p>“And what about the ‘forgive myself’ part?”</p><p>“Do I really need to answer that question? Of course you did. Months ago.”</p><p>“I’m sorry Dad for not having inviting You to my wedding, but I was afraid that...”</p><p>“That’s okay. I understand. I also think it would have been too much for some.”</p><p>God opened his arms and Lucifer nestles in it.</p><p>“But Chloe was beside me. How could I...”</p><p>“I fixed that too. You were feeling vulnerable around her and that’s why you were vulnerable. But I made sure you won’t be again. This way you will be able to protect her properly. You two have a dangerous job! But if you want to – it will be an unconscious desire of course – you will be able to age up. I know that it was an issue for you and I want you to have all the happiness you can get. You suffered enough, son. You deserve to be happy now.”</p><p>“I love You Dad.”</p><p>“I love you too, Samael.”</p><p>Lucifer didn’t even flinch at the mention of his birth name. He was Lucifer now but somewhere Samael would always live within him. Chloe was standing in the threshold, speechless. When Lucifer had rushed out from bed it had woke her up and she was afraid that he had a problem. She went closer and God opened one arm to bring her in the hug.</p><p>“What I will tell everyone about this?” Lucifer said once they parted.</p><p>“Just the truth.”</p><p>“For those in the know that will be easy but what about everyone at the precinct?”</p><p>“That miracle can happen, maybe? You will find something. You always do.”</p><p>God smiled and vanished. Chloe and Lucifer hugged back again, still in shock.</p><p>“The scar is still there.” Chloe said after a moment while rubbing his back.</p><p>“Yes. Hell-forged blade’s wounds usually left scars. It’s a good thing though. To remind me how foolish I was. At least I feel no pain anymore.”</p><p>She looked at him. “I thought it had stopped being painful a few months ago.”</p><p>Lucifer laughed. “It never stopped. I was just used to it and could bear it without the medication.”</p><p>“And what else were you hiding me?”</p><p>“Well, I was not hiding it to you because I didn’t know but I realize now that in the last year even with the ventilator my breathing was far from good. I can’t tell you how wonderful I am feeling right now.”</p><p>Chloe passed a finger on his neck, where the tracheostomy used to be.</p><p>“No need for a trach birthday anymore.”</p><p>“No, but it’s a great thing we get married on that day. This way it will remain a special day.”</p><p>They heard some noise in the kitchen downstairs and Charlie saying ‘hung’y’ in repeat mode.</p><p>“I think you should get dressed. We have great news to announce.”</p><p>Lucifer only put a pyjamas pants and a bathrobe and went downstairs with Chloe.</p><p>“Sorry to have woke you up.” Linda said. “Lucifer I hope you don’t mind that I ” She stopped in midsentence staring at him. “Oh my God!”</p><p>“For once you are right! He’s the one to thanks! It seems I have forgiven Him without even noticing it. Isn’t it great?”</p><p>“Oh wow!”</p><p>Lucifer went closer to hug her. “You know Linda that without your help I would never have gone through the last year. Thank you so much for being such a good therapist and a good friend.”</p><p>“I’m glad I could have help and have the honor to be your friend Lucifer. I’m so glad you managed to forgive Him. Maybe I will be able to do the same with your Mom one day.”</p><p>“I really hope so. And now, would you like some pancakes? I’m starving!”</p><p> </p><p>One by one, the guest were waking up and it was fun to see their reaction when they were realizing Lucifer had no trach anymore. John was a little sad that Lucifer wouldn’t need him now but the latter assured that they would stay friends and see each other from time to time.</p><p>“Will you be able to bring me for a flight now?” Trixie said hopefully.</p><p>“Of course, Urchin, but I will make a try solo first. It’s been a year I didn’t fly after all and I want to make sure the wound didn’t create damage I didn’t notice. But before, we need to eat.”</p><p>When Lucifer took a first bite of pancakes he looked like someone who never eat pancake in his whole life.</p><p>“I didn’t remember that it was tasting so good. I realize I was way more used to my situation than I thought.” He looked up and sent a silent <em>thank you</em> to his Father.</p><p>As soon as he finished eating he went to get dressed properly – trousers, shirt and tailored jacket of course. When he get outside to make a flight try, Amenadiel joined him.</p><p>“May I fly with you brother?”</p><p>“Bloody Hell, yes!”</p><p>The two brothers stretched their wings and disappeared out of sight in few seconds. They returned twenty minutes later, Lucifer disheveled and both smiling like kids in a candy store.</p><p>“It felt so great!” Lucifer claimed on landing. “God I have missed this!”</p><p>Chloe smiled. “Why did you try to cut your wings if you like to fly so much?”</p><p>“Well, the first time it was because I didn’t want to return to Hell and to defy Father. When they returned in the desert, I thought it was my Father manipulation so I cut them again. And last year I think it’s because of the nightmare I made after my Father came to meet me. It has been millennia I didn’t had that dream and it brought me back to my Fall and all the anger I was carrying against Him. But except maybe for the first time I was wrong. I was so wrong.”</p><p> </p><p>Ten minutes later, he was out again with Trixie.</p><p>“I hope you’re not afraid of heights Urchin.”</p><p>“Of course not! I’m twelve! I’m not a baby!”</p><p>Lucifer laughed. “Age had nothing to do with fear of heights. It’s a question of balance in the inner ear.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Never mind.” He put one hand beneath her knees and the other around her back and lifted her in his arms. “You can put your arms around my neck.”</p><p>They flew for about fifteen minutes. Trixie was thrilled when she came back.</p><p>“It was soooo cool! We will do this again, huh?”</p><p>“Yes but not today. Your mother too deserves a ride.”</p><p>“I can wait when we will be alone. I would love to do it at sunset.”</p><p>“All you want, my love.”</p><p> </p><p>Everyone had left by noon. Trixie was gone with Dan and Linda and Amenadiel had take Akuma for the week. Now that Lucifer didn’t have the trach anymore the plans could change for the honeymoon.</p><p>“Where would you want to go?” Lucifer asked.</p><p>“I don’t know. We didn’t make any reservations.”</p><p>“No need for a reservation. We can fly anywhere we want and come back here at night time. We can be anywhere in the world in less than one hour.”</p><p>“Really? What about Venice then?”</p><p>“Sure! You can pick five other cities. We can visit a different one each day.”</p><p>“You have to choose too!” Chloe objected.</p><p>“I’ve seen almost all cities I have wanted to see, my love. It will be my pleasure to bring you anywhere you want to go.”</p><p>“I insist Lucifer! I pick three, you pick three. So I would like Venice, Paris and Tokyo.”</p><p>“You spent a month in Europe and didn’t visit Paris and Venice?”</p><p>“Well, I spent most of my time in Rome...” she said, blushing.</p><p>“So it was not really a Europe trip but a Rome one?”</p><p>She didn’t answer but her face said it all.</p><p>“That’s okay. I don’t blame you anymore. So fine for Venice, Paris and Tokyo. For mine I would have said Tokyo too but we may also go to Kyoto. I’m sure it didn’t change much in centuries but it’s a city you will love. I can even try to make a reservation for one night in a ryokan.”</p><p>“A what?”</p><p>“A ryokan. A Japanese traditional accommodation. It’s the best way to experience Japan. And since you spent all your time in Rome while in Italy we can go to Firenze too when we will go to Venice.”</p><p>“Firenze?”</p><p>“Oh! Yes sorry, Florence. Firenze is the Italian name.”</p><p>“Of course!” She said grinning. “I think it will be fun to visit those cities with someone who speaks the local language.”</p><p>“Indeed. For my last one I hesitate between London and Quebec City. You would love London but I heard Quebec is beautiful in this time of the year.”</p><p>“You’ve never been there?”</p><p>“Yes, once, but it was in winter and way too cold for me. But in the fall I heard the trees are beautiful and it’s really a nice city even if the temperature is too cold most of the year.”</p><p>“Mmm, I think we should choose Quebec City. I’ve never been to Canada.”</p><p>“Perfect! So it will be Paris, Venice, Florence, Tokyo, Kyoto and Quebec City. Let’s check the temperature to make sure we will have sunny days the whole week and I will try to make a one night reservation for Florence and Kyoto.”</p><p>__________</p><p>Their honeymoon had been the most incredible experience Chloe could have imagined. From the week originally planned in the hills, this was the exact opposite from staying quietly at home. Every day was so different from the previous one. She was amazed on how Lucifer was at ease in each country, speaking with the locals like if he was one of them. Her favorite day was definitely the one in Kyoto with the most exotic and historically rich experience but she had loved all the other cities too. From the vibrant Tokyo to the quiet charm of Quebec City with a touch of romance in between, it was the best honeymoon she could have expected. Not even counting with the multiple flights in the arms of an angel.</p><p>She couldn’t thank God enough to have restored Lucifer’s status as an immortal. Of course it was because Lucifer had forgiven Him but since he didn’t said it out loud things could have been different if God hadn’t been attentive to his son. Lucifer was aware of that too and with every little thing he was realizing he had missed while he was on assisted ventilation he was thanking Him. It could goes from insignificants things like smelling and tasting to bigger like the possibility to flight. Just to be able to talk without waiting for the next breathe-out seemed like something wonderful. And he seemed to have endless energy since he was breathing normally. </p><p>He remembered the first shower he took, letting the hot water running on his skin for an hour. He have been reduced to mostly take baths since it was really complicated to take a shower without the backpack being wet or avoiding water to reach the trach. And all the ways they could make love now. It seemed that when you had missed something, you appreciated it even more when restored.</p><p>__________</p><p>Lucifer was a little nervous when he entered the precinct. Notwithstanding the reassurance of his Father he was still wondering how to explain the absence of the trach he had for one whole year. Had he forgotten Miss Lopez had been there while they were on vacation?</p><p>Between the “Congratulations!” and “Have you spent a nice honeymoon?” some weirdness occurred.</p><p>“Lucifer! It’s so awesome you don’t need the backpack anymore! I won’t have to bother you with it now!”</p><p>“Hey Lucifer! I heard the great news! I’m so happy for you!”</p><p>“Hey man! Ella told us! You are blessed and so lucky.”</p><p>What the Hell.</p><p>Lucifer looked at Chloe and signed<em> “Do you know what’s going on?” “Not a clue.”</em> She answered the same way. They headed to Ella’s lab.</p><p>“Chloe! Lucifer!” Ella greeted them and she gave them both the typical Ella’s hug. “How was the honeymoon?”</p><p>“Great!” Chloe answered. “We've traveled worldwide and it was awesome!”</p><p>“Worldwide?”</p><p>“Having wings gives some privileges.”</p><p>“Oh! Yeah, right!”</p><p>“Miss Lopez, what did you said to everyone in here? They all seemed aware that I don’t have the trach anymore.”</p><p>“Yes, right, I just told them the truth.”</p><p>“The truth? The whole truth?” Lucifer looked at Chloe not knowing what to think about that.</p><p>“Not the whole but that you’ve been cure by God.”</p><p>“Cure by God?”</p><p>“Well, I supposed that’s what a miracle is!”</p><p>“So you told them I’ve been miraculously healed?”</p><p>“Yes!”</p><p>“And they just... believed you?”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“Well, usually people don’t <em>just</em> believe in miracle. They need proof.”</p><p>“You are the proof, no? And Dan confirmed what I said. I told them it was a wedding gift miracle.”</p><p>“You’re amazing Miss Lopez do you know that?”</p><p>Ella just laughed.</p><p>__________</p><p>The next weekend Lucifer went to David’s clinic. He wanted to give him the two backpacks and the other ventilators he didn’t needed anymore. Someone else could surely use them. The company who was bringing the oxygen supply each week were already gone with the bottles.</p><p>“Lucifer! What are you doing he... Wait! Where’s the trach? What happened?” David said eyes wide.</p><p>Lucifer laughed. “Well, let’s say my Father decided I suffered enough.”</p><p>“But how could it be possible?”</p><p>“Did you forget I’m an angel and that my father is God?”</p><p>“No! Of course not! That’s amazing! I am so happy for you! You must be so relieved!”</p><p>“Relieved is not the word I would have used but yes, it’s a wonderful sensation to breathe normally again. So, I came here to give you all the stuff I no longer need. I think the backpacks can be useful even if it might be a little heavy for most humans but I’m sure you can find a use for them.”</p><p>“Yes, sure. Thank you for all this.”</p><p>“Well, it’s me who owe you thanks. I wouldn’t be alive without your help.”</p><p>“It’s been an honor to be able to help you. I’ve seen a lot of crazy things in my practice but to treat an angel is definitely the weirdest one.”</p><p>“I’m not so weird.” Lucifer said in an offended tone.</p><p>“For a human, to see someone with wings is weird.”</p><p>“Okay. Let’s say the wing part could be considered as weird.” Lucifer laughed. “If you need anything in the future, please let me know.” He added more seriously.</p><p>__________</p><p>Back at the penthouse, he sat at the piano and started playing a slow song. Singing was one of the things he really had missed in the last year and every evening he was sitting at the piano.</p><p>“You look thoughtful. Something is bothering you?”</p><p>Lucifer stopped playing and looked at Chloe.</p><p>“Not really bothering. Just strange thoughts.”</p><p>“About what?”</p><p>“About being the Devil. My Father told me I would be as long as I wish but I’m not sure I still feel like I am. My immortal status being back, I should feel I’m back in the Devil’s shoes but it’s more the opposite. Just like when my Father called me Samael. I should have been angry because I had told Him countless times I was not anymore but when he did, I almost felt good about it. I mean, I’m still Lucifer but I’m feeling more like the Lightbringer than the Devil.”</p><p>“And? Why is it strange?”</p><p>“I don’t know if I’m happy or sad about it. I’ve been the Devil most of my life and it’s like losing my identity.”</p><p>“The Devil is just a name Lucifer, a title. This is not who you are. You never had been. You told me once it was just a job and now you’re retired. Why should you keep this title?”</p><p>He smiled. “You may be right.”</p><p>“Do you still have your devil face?”</p><p>“I don’t know. I never tried in the last year.” He seemed to concentrate for a moment and put a hand on his cheek but nothing happened. “It seems that no.”</p><p>“Well you have your answer. You know now that it’s not your Father manipulation but you who decide. And you’re an angel. My angel.”</p><p>How this woman could make him feel so good? He thought.</p><p>“I love you. So much.”</p><p>“I love you too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you again for reading this story until the end.  I hope you like the way I finished all this! There will be some little stories along the last chapters in the future in Trixie's shorties series. Don't hesitate to subscribe if you don't want to miss them! Your comments are most welcome as usual!</p>
        </blockquote><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
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        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23948257">My hero by Beatrice Espinoza</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/PtitPooh5/pseuds/PtitPooh5">PtitPooh5</a>
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